Monday, January 30, 2006
**Enter broken pen number 1.
Then, nearing the end, I decided to start printing this job. It wouldn't print. I tried another computer. Still wouldn't print. Tried a third computer. Still, nothing.
**Enter broken pen number 2.
Called Karen. Fixed corrupted font problem via phone. Began printing. Then I find out the last 40 pages of appendix are all art pages. After fifteen minutes of spooling on the first page, I stubbed my toe on the big metal pole that supports the building behind my desk.
**Enter fifteen minutes of yelling and a quick trip to quickie mart for cigarettes.
Come back. Finish printing without further incident. Leave at 6:30. As I'm leaving, Boy calls and says he hasn't had anything to drink all day because there isn't anything in the house to drink. I ask why he didn't run to the convenience store LESS THAN A MILE FORM THE HOUSE. He said he was trying to save gas.
**Enter childish name-calling and a cigarette.
I stop at Weiss for water, ice tea, soda, and Kool-Aid mix. I want to make sure my vases are covered with this "Nothing to Drink" plague we are experiencing in Bowmanstown. Leaving parking lot of Weiss, an old lady decides to pull out in front of me and go 25 miles per hour down route 100.
**Enter a broken blood vessel, much foul name-calling, and a general sense of helplessness at this cruel ending to my day.
Finally get home.
Tired, angry, bitter, I decide to finally watch the movie "Camp," which, I have to say, I loved. I'm not big on musicals, so I didn't have high hopes, and it's not really a musical in and of itself. It has a lot of songs as it's about a bunch of teens in a theater summer camp.
And I realized of that much enjoyed movie that I had missed the okay to be gay as a teen movement by about fifteen years. If I was born fifteen years later, I could have taken a boy to the prom. Oh well. Spilt milk. My life probably wouldn't have been much different anyway. I still would have been the shy, chubby kid with acne too scared to ask a girl out, let alone a boy. I think by the time we enter teenage-hood, our personalities are pretty much set in stone. In the teen years, we spend our time trying to find the limits of our potential while figuring out how to deal with our shortcomings. Then we spend our twenties blaming our parent's for our shortcomings while riding the quasi-success of any potential we found in our teen years, spend our thirties raising children in what we think is the exact opposite of what our parents had done, our forties dealing with miniversions of ourselves called teenagers, out fifties getting blamed by them for their shortcomings, and sixties through nineties looking back at it all and laughing, and finally enjoying life. Hopefully, anyway. That is how it look from my perspective, at least.
But the movie made me smile. And I slept well that night and didn't even think of work on Sunday until Rich said, "What are you going to have for lunch tomorrow?"
But that's another burst blood-vessel story for another time.
Friday, January 27, 2006
I don't think I'd mind all the OT and the political bullshit, and the brown nosing near as much if I at least made a decent wage. I'm sure what I make would be considered decent to some people, but not to me. We can barely pay our mortgage each month, we never go out to eat anymore, and my mortgage is only $100,000. I know this would probably be an easy life if Rich hadn't accumulated $20,000 of credit card debt before I met him, but I can easily blame that on his ex and his lack of common sense at what was his tender age at the time.
I just hate the feeling that I'm not getting anywhere in life. I want kids. I want to be able to order pizza when I feel like it and not have to worry if this means we'll have to make a car payment late or something.
Life sucks right now.
If anyone is looking for a commercial artist, I have plenty of experience in Quark, Corel, all the Microsoft products (Word, Excel, etc.) and work equally well on both a Mac and a PC.
Save me from this hell.
I'll be at work all day Saturday.
In other news, I will have the house all to myself tonight, which means I can spend the night surfing, selling things on eBay, or do nothing, if I desire. Maybe I'll finally start that novel.
FYI to all future authors:
1. There is NO need to thank everyone you've ever met in your entire life in your acknowledgements. It's a waste of my time and yours to type it out.
2. Notes are actually very simple. STOP SCREWING IT UP!!!!!! If you can't type your notes right the first time, look it up in the Chicago manual of style. It wastes my time IMMENSELY!!!!!!
3. Learn how important comma use is AND STOP USING SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!
4. Learn how to write.
5. STOP REWRITING YOUR BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I deal with all your bullshit on a daily basis. Knock it the fuck off!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
1. I am also on my way to work (or somewhere equally important, if not more important, than your kids soccer practice. Sorry, but it's true.
2. No one can crawl up my ass without my permission, esp. if you haven't even bought me dinner yet.
3. You are driving a minivan.... need I say more?
Get off my ass! I could leave you in the dust in a heartbeat! (I drive a mustang, V6). Here are the reasons I don't leave you in the dust...
1. There's another car in front of me. This is rush hour, after all.
2. Even though you haven't bought me dinner, sometimes all I need is a quickie.
3. If I've had a really bad day (and if this is coming home from work, you can bet I did), I like annoying the piss out of you.
4. You are driving a minivan.... need I say more?
*** Topic shift:
It took me three hours to convince Rich that we needed to buy new black ink for our printer last night. The only night I've gotten home from work on time, and I need to spend three hours proving to him that our printer is out of black ink. Now, this is after Ms. Minivan thought she was all that and a bag (which she wasn't), and I wasn't really in the mood to be patient with obtuseness....
I barely got home in time to watch Lost. And that wasn't even worth it.
And now Bethany is talking to me about Gilmore Girls.... do I look like a Gilmore Girl watcher? HELLO?!?!?!
Ugh... maybe I'll get to annoy another minivan driver on the way home....
It would at least bring a smile to my face...
*** Topic shift:
Dogs are going to take as long as they damn well please to take a dump. Despite yelling, bitter cold, wind chill, and an 8 hour wait to go outside. Who gave them control over leaisure time of the world?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
> Subject: Medicare drug bill explained by the President
> Bush Explains Medicare Drug Bill -- Verbatim Quote
> Submitted on 2005-12-13 16:35:14
> WOMAN IN AUDIENCE: 'I don't really understand. How is it
> the new plan going to fix the problem?'
> Verbatim response: PRESIDENT BUSH:
> 'Because the -- all which is on the table begins to address
> the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are
> calculated, for example, is on the table. Whether or not
> benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases.
> There's a series of parts of the formula that are being
> considered. And when you couple that, those different cost
> drivers, affecting those -- changing those with personal
> accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more
> likely to be -- or closer delivered to that has been
> promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of
> muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the --
> like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the
> increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices.
> Some have suggested that we calculate -- the benefits will
> rise based upon inflation, supposed to wage increases.
> There is a reform that would help solve the red if that
> were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits
> grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those -- if
> that growth is affected, it will help on the red.'
Forward this to others -- so they, too, can understand.
But today, I would like to let the world know that Kelly has got her Krunk on! She "Kicked Ass," "Bowled the Weasel," "Slew the Masses," "Gandlaf'ed the Balrog!"
Okay, I'm punchy and giddy with happiness at the suddenly less amount of OT that we will have tonight, considering me and Em were here from 8 a.m. (normal start time) to 9 p.m. (way past normal end time of 4:30 p.m.). I think I'm allowed a bit of punchiness...
Monday, January 23, 2006
My brother Mike must remove his abandoned car form my parent's or else they will start receiving a fine of $70 a day for it being there. They have had two weeks. Naturally, they told Mike to please move it. Mike keeps saying he's bringing up a friend with a dolly to move the car, and they need to be patient, cause he has a job (really, that's his excuse... he has a job--and this is novel? like no one else works? People do get days off... he's had two weeks...) So my father is now renting a dolly for $40 a day and is taking the car to my brother-in-laws, who will be selling it for parts on eBay... I have no idea if Mike knows about this or not, but since his name isn't on the car to begin with, and since he can't get his ass in gear to move it, I say more power to them. They've shelled out more money on this one child then their other four combined and multiplied again.
I just got an e-mail about the fifth rush AA to come in today... see previous post about the hilarity of it all, and how blessed my workplace is that I don't own firearms. Although I got the "sniper" rating in basic training, so it could be a double blessing.
I think I'm going to be here long time....
So now that "Me love you longtime" is running through my head. Except in this case it isn't really love, is it?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
I remember the good old days when I used to be broke and clubbing every Saturday night (not to mention Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night... and so on and so forth...) I was also broke. Correlation, anyone?
I've decided that I need new hobbies. I used to enjoy reading, but that was before I became an editor. FYI: Never get a job you think you might enjoy. You only end up hating the things you used to enjoy, and then you have nothing you enjoy. (Okay, nothing is a bit melodramatic, but you know what I mean.)
I've started painting and drawing again, and may even try selling some of them on eBay... I'll keep you all posted. (I know, the millions of you that bother to read my daily rants and raves are just dying to buy a piece of my artwork. Calm down, calm down, everyone.)
Now that I'm thirty, I'm wondering why I bother getting up to go to a job that I hate every day. I don't even really hate my job per se. I love the work, I just hate the people I do it with. The almighty scheduler defeats any reason for busting my ass on a daily basis as he makes it quite impossible to ever catch up with all his rush work. (This is funny: I got an three e-mails within the last half hour of work on Friday, warning of rush jobs coming in first thing Monday that just had to be done. [Keep in mind, he had already filled our schedules with other work that just had to be done on Monday.] On the third, my brain hemorrhaged, and I e-mailed him back [even though I could have just turned around and talked loudly so he could here me through the oh-so-thick drywall separating his office from my cubicle] and said, "Is there ever a job that isn't rush? To which he responded about the last e-mail, "This one is an extreme rush.")
No. I am not kidding. Not only was everything all ready "rush," but on that insurmountable pile of work on Monday that was all "rush," there was now an "extreme rush." What, like suddenly all other "rush" work should be put on hold till later on Monday to do the "extreme rush"? What the hell is that? Do they all need done on Monday? Yes. Will there be hell in meetings to pay if any of it isn't complete? Yes. Will the world as we know it come to a screeching halt, bringing on the apocalypse, disease,and pestilence to every known corner of the universe? If you work where I work, you would know this response isn't so dramatic, but indeed, reality in the eyes of the Jones's.* Not to mention the eyes of Scheduler. He also suggested I sit in his seat sometime to see how I like it.
*Last names have been changed to protect my ass in the extreme off-chance that they would read this.
Now this is what really pisses me off. Not only do I constantly rearrange his "schedule" to make sure that everything gets done within normal business hours, I also manage to constantly rearrange the precious schedule of gold and silver so that almost everything "rush" and unscheduled gets done with almost NO overtime. Every fucking week we are scheduled at least 10 hours of OT, and every fucking week, I manage to get all that shit done within 2 hours of OT or less. OR LESS. I could sit in his chair, removing his precious ass-heater if for no other reason than the "ick" factor, and get his job done with time to spare.
This is not an empty brag.
But I will never be given that chance because I cannot possibly bring myself to crawl that far up N. and J. Jones' asses. Not only would it be very messy, but then I would have actual visual proof of the lack of souls in their physical bodies. Tomorrow begins (as every Sunday does) an item-by-item look-through in the want-ads.
Here's hoping for a reason to get up on Monday.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Okay, so I cried a lot.
A river poured forth from my tear ducts, cascaded to the front of the theater, and I'm quite sure by the end the first two rows were in life boats. Some thought they ended up in the wrong theater and were watching Titanic. Minus Leo D.
It's up there with Moulin Rogue for me. I know Kelly won't know that this gives away a lot, since she was too frightened by Hanz Ziegler to even get beyond the opening song of Moulin Rogue. So I think I'm safe in saying that.
Sure, it's not a musical. It's not as fast as Moulin Rogue either. But the tragic love story is right up there. It does piss me off that my older brother said, "I'm not going to go see that gay cowboy movie." Yeah, cause that's what it's all about. Gay cowboys. Another poster wrote about how she doesn't get how people would want to see two men "getting off on each other." Can I just say that the actual man-on-man action here is less than a minute long--in a movie over two hours long!!!!! I don't boycott "straight" movies when there's a straight love scene, do I? (No, the answer here is no.) Love is love is love. Two men, two women, a man and a woman.... yadda yadda yadda...
Speaking of yadda yadda yadda, my friend Scott told me it was as long and drawn out as "The English Patient," which, I'm sorry, I'm with Elaine on "Seinfeld" with the English Patient. It sucked. Brokeback Mountain did not.
In other news, my weakness for the wacky-tobacky is still strong, culminating in another weak moment last night. Scott was shocked to learn that I'm sneaking them in here and there, but I am only human, and as long as Rich doesn't find out, I should be able to avoid long lectures on health, the universe, and everything.
My grandmother (god bless her selfish, scheming soul) lectured me on my birthday about how good it was that I gave it up. I told her the only reason did so was because they were too expensive, and she agreed that they were. Not that she smokes, but she won't even call me long-distance to ask me to call her back because it costs her money to do even that much. But she'll spend the 39 cents for a stamp. Go figure.
I also found out I'm becoming an uncle again. This will be niece/nephew number 7. So I'll give my shout-outs to them one at a time:
1. Samuel Nelson H., b. 12/26/98, put up for adoption by my sister as she was only sixteen when she had him--love you lots, nephew, wherever you are.
2. Olivia Joy O., b. 2/18/01, daughter of Sylvia (sister #1) and Jon O.
3. Thomas Henry Allen H., b. 12/9/01, son of Tom (brother #1) and Ann H.
4. Devon Nelson H., b. 11/24/03, son of Tom and Ann H.
5. Ceili June G., b. 10/10/04, daughter of Chuck and Cynthia (sister #2) G. (I'm a little fuzzy on this and the next exact date... when the number's get to be this many, you kind of lose track... I mean, come on, I've got four bros and sisters to remember on top of their off-spring!!!)
6. Brenton Michael D., b. 11/17/05, son of Michael (Rich's brother) and Wendy D.
7. To be announced, b. to be announced, child of Chuck and Cynthia G.
My younger brother Mike has done us all the favor of refraining from procreating thus far, but that could be because he can't even take responsibility for himself, let alone another life form. Thank god for small favors, eh?
That's all I got today, catch you all sometime over the weekend...
Thursday, January 19, 2006
So you really could see faces in the black cloud that Mr. Echo was facing down on the Lost island. I taped it and watched it in slow-mo. The show is surely getting interesting, esp. after a boring first season. (I know I am mostly alone on that thought.)
Okay, so I have not much to say today. It's been 12 days since I quit the wacky tobacky, and I still feel really rammy. It's the worst after eating dinner. Or right before bed, that whole relaxing hit of nicotine. Other than that, I just feel bored that I have nothing to do at break, after eating, while waiting for my dog to sniff around for thirty minutes for that exactly perfect spot to deposit his shit on....
What's that about, anyway? Just shit somewhere, for crying out loud! No, he has to sniff, and sniff, and sniff. Sometimes, he'll sniff for a while and start to shit, but then change his mind, cut it off, and continue sniffing for a more perfect spot in which to shit. I so don't get it, but I've come to the conclusion that, if he takes longer than 10 minutes, I'm calling him in cause he apparently doesn't have to go that badly. When he starts shitting in under two minutes, then I'll know I let him out just in time to avoid a clean-up in aisle 5...
So as I think Kelly is the only person who reads my blog, I'd like to give a shout-out to her, and wish her well on avoiding Bethany today, as Bethany now seems to think she is an expert on sharks and what-not because once upon a time her sister saw a nurse shark or something on a coral reef--probably in an aquarium, or better yet, on the Discovery Channel.
She drives me insanely batty!!!!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
"There is a land called Passive-Aggressiva. And I am their queen."
—Dr. Montgomery Shepherd
I guess you really had to see it to get the full impact of hilarity there. Or maybe it's just me.
I laughed my ass off for minutes!!! (Hours would be too much of an exaggerationn.)
I also laughed my ass off during a promo for some new cartoon that's coming out that shows a tree falling between two turtles, and they look at each other, and the one turtle yells "Run!!!!" and they both start sssslllloooowwwwllllllyyyyyy moving off away form the tree. SO FREAKIN' FUNNY!
Yeah, I know, I'm hard up for quality entertainment.
Monday, January 16, 2006
I might go back into retail... at least you deal with different assholes everyday as customers come and go... I though working in an office wouldn't be this... irritating. And using the word irritating is an understatement.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Anywho, this Saturday is the big one-- 30. Years. Old.
I feel like I should be having some sort of midlife crisis. Isn't thirty supposed to shake me to my very core? Inspire to finish The List? (Which I've never created; does that make me sub-human? Or less shallow?) I've only ever had a very short list of goals for my life, most of which I've accomplished.
1. Find the man of my dreams. (Check.)
2. Own at least an acre of land and create a beautiful garden. (At 3/4 of an acre and a limited budget every spring, it's on its way.)
3. Have children. (Hasn't happened yet--you'd think the state would be giving kids away, or at least the fundies would be adopting them all, family values and human life being sssoooo important to them; I'll hold out hope until I'm sixty-five.)
4. Live life for life, NOT for work. (Unfortunately, the world doesn't work this way so much: the man of my dreams is no sugar daddy [for which I forgive him]; I still have bills [for which I'll never forgive the inventor's of money and credit]; and food cost money cause my acre of land won't raise Angus beef for nothing.)
So that's my life. Big plans for my thirtieth, you ask? After the extended family Christmas get-together that certain people who shall rename unnamed planned ON my birthday, afterward, at the request of my older brother, I will be watching his 4 and 2 year old sons so he, his wife, and at least one of my sisters can go to the movies... on my birthday... watching his kids... while they go out... on my birthday...
I think came up with a new resolution after having gone five years without any... Be more selfish. I have four siblings. Two of them call me on my birthday (my sisters) every year. My brothers don't. I call them. I know, I sound like an insecure girl. I'll let this train run out of steam.
I have a ton of empathy. I can commiserate with the best of them, feel their pain, understand their side of the story, and know where they are coming from in a heartbeat. But I do lack care for other people.
Seriously, I know this sounds wrong (it probably is) but I DON'T CARE. I care about children an animals, because really, they don't know better and don't know how to get out of their plights in life 9 times out of 10. Adults, suck it up! Poor? So am I, get over it, I DON'T CARE. Hate your job? So do I, suck it up, I DON'T CARE! Unhappy with your lot in life? Ditto. This is the root of why I hate people, I think. I don't care about their kite club, or their brother's car that looks like mine, or how a conversation with a friend not even remotely in your general direction can cause you to interrupt with what you think is a witty comment on how only elephants cause stampedes. I don't care if blue editor is easy to understand and red editor isn't. I don't care if you saw three car accidents on the way to work. I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!!!
Side note: Yes, I need a cigarette, yes, I am unnaturally angry tonight, and yes, when I'm not smoking, I am a real bitch.
And why is it that only moron's without time-management skills ALWAYS get the promotion that they're no good at? Isn't the era of corporate sucking-up over yet? Why is it that after six months of erasing OT from the schedule still results in "rush jobs" that "may require OT" and even though you've shown how it WON'T require OT with a little switch here and a little switch there STILL results in the great incompetent scheduler to screw it all up and STILL schedule OT? I'm sorry, my life is more important than work, it really is. To me. So screw you, corporate world. SCREW YOU ALL. I will take my apparently over-inflated ego, my sense of better-than-thou, and drink a nice glass of white wine tonight while taping a crummy show called "Smallville" for Boy while he's at work, and laugh. Not because I have off tomorrow and it's now Em's and Kel's headache to deal with the great incompetent scheduler. But because I am choosing to enjoy life this weekend.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to beg off baby sitting my nephews so that I can enjoy my birthday.
Have a good one!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Day Five sucks.
I had a weak moment this morning and smoked half a cigarette, and, miracle or miracles, my nose cleared up and my headache went away...
That was at 7:15 a.m.
It is now 10:00 a.m., and all my symptoms are back, but it looks like I'll hafta deal....
In other news, I hear Angelina Jolie is having Brad's baby...
I suppose I am happy for them... Brad and Angelina rock, and Jennifer was an idiotic bitch, that last year didn't want kids so dumped him, but this year says she does...
Maybe living with Brad caused her to want to smoke?
So my gollum is back ("My precious... my precious Marlboro Lights..."), but I think I'll live. I envision it like the scene in "Birdcage," when Robin Williams is trying to teach Nathan Lane how to slather butter on toast in a manly manner. I just have to remember, it's not the end of the world. I can just get another piece of toast. There's no need to get hysterical.... except I'm trying to get off the toast. It still shouldn't be the end of the world....
Unless I'm having Brad's baby...
I think that would be a sign of the apocalypse...
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
T H A T
F U C K I N G
I N C O M P E T E N T !
Isn't that reason enough for impeaching? Being that bad at the job?!?
Seriously, folks. Is this the "No President Left Behind" program? Are we just hoping his grades will improve if he gets to keep retaking the freakin test?
WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE!
Impeach his ass, if for no other reason than completely disregarding the Constitution when it comes to his office powers. THAT should be reason enough.
Monday, January 9, 2006
Why does the Moral Majority have such a victim complex? "They're taking prayer out of schools!" "They will incur the wrath of God by not talking about Intelligent Design!" "They took away God's law from the courthouse!" "We're turning our backs on God!"
I suppose it could have something to do with the whole Christian thing being based upon victimization to begin with. I mean, Eve was simply a victim of Satan as Snake... Adam was a victim of Eve's new worldly temptations and manipulations... Now we are all "victims" of this original sin and need "saved" by Jesus' blood... And so the cycle continues...
So I suppose that now that they are "freed" from their sin nature by God's grace, they are now victims' of the world... Everything the world does creates a victim out of them...
Of course, our whole world today is "victimized"... like the woman who sued Mickey D's for the coffee thing. I just read an article about a man suing Pizza Hut because their jalepeno poppers caused his wife to burn her mouth and he was denied "comfort" and "relations" by her. So she is suing for being burned, and he is suing for emotional damages. I wonder if they're Christians?
What is the point of all this resolution making?
I'm quitting because it is almost my 30th birthday. "Good God!" my mind says. "Thirty all ready?!?!"
I've always told everyone that either a child, or my thirtieth, would see the quittance of my habit. I'd prefer the child causing it, but hey, if wishes were horses, eh?
Quitting isn't as bad as I thought it would be... perhaps that has to do with the fact that it's only Day Three? I'm finding the tiny headaches a nuisance, but that's about it... It's more, I dunno, a vacuum of boredom that quitting has created. I used to walk my dog during these times, to stretch my legs, walk about a bit, even (GASP!) socialize! And I find that this boredom could be the bigger downfall of my failing to quit.... We'll just have to see...
Most people gain weight during this period, the Quitting Period. Maybe if the side effects were changed to losing weight, quitting would be easier for more people?
My younger brother has quit smoking many times all ready. I'm sure the fact that one of my sisters, myself, and other in-law types in our family still smoked around him, may have been part of his reason for failing. He has never been very strong. Was that a condescending remark? His weakness is a fact, but I may need to word it differently.
Onward, Day Three.
Friday, January 6, 2006
*For all intents and purposes, "Dancing Monkey" refers to the a-hole in the Oval Office...
"The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies"
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained, and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For protecting them by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
• For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
• For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
• For depriving us in many cases of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
• For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
• For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
• For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
• For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
Now how many similarities do YOU see?