Day Six was slightly better then Life as a whole...

I woke up and could breathe this morning! Thank God for small favors...

Anywho, this Saturday is the big one-- 30. Years. Old.

I feel like I should be having some sort of midlife crisis. Isn't thirty supposed to shake me to my very core? Inspire to finish The List? (Which I've never created; does that make me sub-human? Or less shallow?) I've only ever had a very short list of goals for my life, most of which I've accomplished.

1. Find the man of my dreams. (Check.)

2. Own at least an acre of land and create a beautiful garden. (At 3/4 of an acre and a limited budget every spring, it's on its way.)

3. Have children. (Hasn't happened yet--you'd think the state would be giving kids away, or at least the fundies would be adopting them all, family values and human life being sssoooo important to them; I'll hold out hope until I'm sixty-five.)

4. Live life for life, NOT for work. (Unfortunately, the world doesn't work this way so much: the man of my dreams is no sugar daddy [for which I forgive him]; I still have bills [for which I'll never forgive the inventor's of money and credit]; and food cost money cause my acre of land won't raise Angus beef for nothing.)

So that's my life. Big plans for my thirtieth, you ask? After the extended family Christmas get-together that certain people who shall rename unnamed planned ON my birthday, afterward, at the request of my older brother, I will be watching his 4 and 2 year old sons so he, his wife, and at least one of my sisters can go to the movies... on my birthday... watching his kids... while they go out... on my birthday...

I think came up with a new resolution after having gone five years without any... Be more selfish. I have four siblings. Two of them call me on my birthday (my sisters) every year. My brothers don't. I call them. I know, I sound like an insecure girl. I'll let this train run out of steam.

I have a ton of empathy. I can commiserate with the best of them, feel their pain, understand their side of the story, and know where they are coming from in a heartbeat. But I do lack care for other people.

Seriously, I know this sounds wrong (it probably is) but I DON'T CARE. I care about children an animals, because really, they don't know better and don't know how to get out of their plights in life 9 times out of 10. Adults, suck it up! Poor? So am I, get over it, I DON'T CARE. Hate your job? So do I, suck it up, I DON'T CARE! Unhappy with your lot in life? Ditto. This is the root of why I hate people, I think. I don't care about their kite club, or their brother's car that looks like mine, or how a conversation with a friend not even remotely in your general direction can cause you to interrupt with what you think is a witty comment on how only elephants cause stampedes. I don't care if blue editor is easy to understand and red editor isn't. I don't care if you saw three car accidents on the way to work. I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!!!

Side note: Yes, I need a cigarette, yes, I am unnaturally angry tonight, and yes, when I'm not smoking, I am a real bitch.

And why is it that only moron's without time-management skills ALWAYS get the promotion that they're no good at? Isn't the era of corporate sucking-up over yet? Why is it that after six months of erasing OT from the schedule still results in "rush jobs" that "may require OT" and even though you've shown how it WON'T require OT with a little switch here and a little switch there STILL results in the great incompetent scheduler to screw it all up and STILL schedule OT? I'm sorry, my life is more important than work, it really is. To me. So screw you, corporate world. SCREW YOU ALL. I will take my apparently over-inflated ego, my sense of better-than-thou, and drink a nice glass of white wine tonight while taping a crummy show called "Smallville" for Boy while he's at work, and laugh. Not because I have off tomorrow and it's now Em's and Kel's headache to deal with the great incompetent scheduler. But because I am choosing to enjoy life this weekend.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to beg off baby sitting my nephews so that I can enjoy my birthday.

Have a good one!