Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Another Interestingly Pointless Quiz... I May Have an Addiction...

You scored as Tolkien. You are the most credited author of mankind! Mr. JRR Tolkien.
Creator of Middle-Earth and renowned poet.
You enjoy smoking weed.























Who's your classic author?
created with

For the record, I have never smoked weed, so I wouldn't know if I would enjoy it or not... Oh well.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Heart & Soul of the Matter...

So one of the few times religious aspects entered the yard sale family atmosphere was when my sister presented us with the letter (and subsequent pictures) of my nephew through her semi-open adoption. Occasionally she receives these up-dates, and every once and a while she shares them with the family as a whole, which we always are very happy to share with her.

He can play the piano by ear (a trait that apparently skips generations, as my great-great grandfather had this knack, but no one I know of since then), is a very compassionate and caring brother to his other adopted siblings, and has asked Jesus into his heart....

(Enter sound of screeching car tires)

Don't get me wrong. I knew my sister picked a Christian family for her son when she gave him up for adoption. In fact, it was kind of a given that she would when she finally set her mind on giving him to another family. Of course, we all supported her decision as she was young, still in school, and scared she wouldn't be able to provide him or herself with a quality life. Of course, there's a lot more luggage in that suitcase, but that's all I'll share from that perspective for now...

Back to the letter. Jesus. Heart. All that.

My mother bursts into tears reading this part. She taps her chest with her free hand and says, "Isn't that wonderful? He is saved! I'll see my grandson in heaven!"

My father nods sagely, and says, "Good news."

Tom (my Christian [but not Christian-eese] brother) shakes his head and says something along the lines of "Huh?"

I shake my head and look to the ground. I am upset that my nephew has been placed willingly into a cult-ish family, but then I figure, I was dropped unasked into one as well, and most of my siblings turned out all right.... so there's hope.

Dad looks at Tom. "Sam (that's what we call him, as that is the name my sister gave him before he was handed over to his adoptive parents) accepting Christ as his lord is the most important decision he will ever make."

My mother taps her chest again, nodding sagely through the tears.

I can tell Tom wishes to pursue this line of thinking, but we all realize this is making my sister uncomfortable, so the conversation drifts to the safer topics of the letter: the piano, his writing skills, how much he looks like his birth father...

I remember when I first asked Jesus into my heart. I was four, and we were sitting around the dinner table. I was afraid of hell. I had just learned about it in school that day (we went to a private brain-washing facility that my parents gave thousands of dollars to every year to make sure we stayed that way), and I wanted to know how I asked Jesus into my heart so I wouldn't go there. So my father lead me in a prayer, saying I was sorry for my sins (and, in hindsight, how silly! How much could I have possibly sinned at four freakin' years old! [I know, I know, enter "a sin is a sin is a sin," "quality not quantity," "you were born into sin," and "once a sinner, always a sinner" crapola]) and that Jesus was aloud to come in and wash away my sins. Afterwards there was my father, smiling from ear to ear, and a lecture to my younger siblings (for I think Tom had already asked Jesus to move in earlier that year) about how important it was what I just did, and did any of them want to ask Jesus into their hearts? (Of course, they were 2, 1, and 3 months respectively.)

This was the first of six zillion times I would ask Jesus to move in, afraid that maybe the first time didn't take, afraid that every time I did something that could be construed as a "sin" that it was proof that maybe I hadn't been sorry enough, that I hadn't believed enough, that maybe Jesus didn't love me enough, or maybe I didn't love him enough....

Of course, then puberty hit, and I was really screwed...

Of course, Sam is only 9. He has years ahead of him. Years to hear about how he's a sinner. How he was born into sin. How he wants to do evil and needs god if he ever hopes to be good. And how (even though he doesn't know it yet), his birth uncle, from his adoptive family's point of view, will be in hell.

I think that's the part that pisses me off the most. My nephew, whom I held and knew for only 5 seconds on the day he was born, the day after Christmas in 199_, will be told I am evil.

What do I do with those feelings? My parents I can argue with. My brothers and sisters I can stand up to (if I so desire) and say what I believe, think, feel, and live by....

With Sam... I can only hope.

Monday, May 29, 2006

The Adventures of Memorial Day Weekend; Or, How to Lose Money at Your Yard Sale in Just Two Days...

So we just finished the Second Bi-annual Multi-Family Hughes Yard Sale...

And while Richard and I lost money (I know, reader, you're thinking, What the hell? How do you lose money having a yard sale???), please note that my parents, my older brother and family, and my one younger sister made out quite well....

It all started some time last week...

Sylvia: Hey, you're still having that yard sale, right?
Me: Um, yeah, I think so... why?
Sylvia: Are you putting an ad in the paper?
Me: I wasn't planning to... we didn't last time and made out pretty well...
Sylvia: Oh, okay, well, I'll still be there...
So now the idea is in my mind. Apparently, from her past experiences, an ad in the paper increased her sales... So I go online, place an ad in the paper to run for Friday through Sun... Then they call me to confirm the ad and arrange payment... $65 FREAKIN' DOLLARS FOR A THREE DAY, 15 WORD AD?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! So I manage to trim 15 words to 12 and cut out Friday and Sunday, so it will only run Saturday and I STILL have to pay $35 for the fuckin' ad... but I figure, it might be worth it.

Thursday, May 25:
After working 2 hours of overtime from hell-week at work (because everyone in New York must have all their precious manuscripts back before the holiday), my parent's stop by with most of their things to sell at the yard sale. They fill my entire dining room table, under my dining room table, and in front of the fish tanks... about 20 boxes, bags, and packages. It takes about an hour to unload their pickup, I then proceed to eat dinner and go to bed.

Friday, May 26:
After I get home from work, Sylvia arrives, her Blazer packed to the rim with boxes, bags, and packages... she decides after seeing all the boxes already in my dining room to not unload her Blazer until Saturday morning. Tom then arrives with the first of four carloads of things he plans on selling at our yard sale. Between trips 1 and 2, he leaves the boys at my house so he can fit more in the car (and hence, my living/dining room) with more items. As my living space gradually disappears under a mountain of cardboard, I lament the fact that I have yet to get anything I am selling at the yard sale out of the attic... about 20 boxes. Rich says he will help me get all that stuff down early Saturday morning while everyone else drags their stuff outside. In the meantime, Sylvia watches the boys while Rich and I set up two picnic tables, a banquet table, our kitchen table, our patio table, and two old closet doors to span between tables in the front yard. Rich then travels the tri-township area putting up our neon-green signs... We get to bed around 11.

Saturday, May 27:
6 a.m. comes way too early... Sylvia starts rolling her things out of the car. Tom and Ann arrive with two more carloads and two kids hyped up on sugar from a stop at the doughnut shop. Rich goes down to the corner gas station and notices two of our four signs have disappeared... not on the ground, not fallen to the way side... fucking GONE!!!! He runs to Walmart, spending $12 on more neon-green posterboard, hastily writes out new signs (lacking my artistic flare), and puts them up in places where the others used to be located. I drag our things down from the attic. Henry and Devon argue over toys. Tom gets pissy with Ann (and she gets pissy back) about how much they are selling things for (the sun was getting to all of us... plus, all we had to eat all day were doughnuts and coffee cake fresh from Mom's oven, and then a few hot dogs)... But it all turns out to be a great day, although Sylvia is bummed she only made, like, $8 bucks. We decide to do it again tomorrow in the hopes of catching the church/family crowds... I must be a glutton for punishment. It reached 87 degrees (of course, the first day it ever gets over 75 is the day we're stuck out in the sun selling junk to people who think our junk is too expensive...)

Sunday, May 28:
Another scorcher. 90 degrees. We received (as a gift from Mom and Dad) a patio umbrella for our patio table, so we all scrunch under the umbrella, soaking up any available shade trying to avoid a sunburn on top of our sunburn... Mom, Sylvia and Ann decide to go yard sale-ing, leaving Rich and I to hold down the fort (and sell their stuff) while they apparently go buy more junk to resupply our yard sale... I'm serious (sort of). By the time they come back, we have sold tons of their stuff, but Rich and I watch our pile of junk sustain itself through a second day... Sylvia is still bummed she isn't making more, and decides she'll do a chore for Rich and I to earn some extra money. So she says

Sylvia: I'll clean your pool for $25.
Me: Have you seen our pool? It hasn't been cleaned in two years! But sure, for $25, you can clean it.
Sylvia: Seriously? You'll let me clean your pool?
Me: Have you seen the pool? I'm getting the better deal here!
Sylvia: It's that nasty?
Me: Hey, you can go look at it, but don't say I didn't warn you...
Sylvia wanders down to the pool, and returns with a look of disgust mixed with horror.
Sylvia: $75. To clean it out.
Me: I dunno, you said $25 originally...
Sylvia: Yeah, but that's just gross!
Me: Hey, talk to Rich. It's his job to clean it out, and if he wants to pay you to do it, that's up to him...
Sylvia: Fine. $50. I'll do it for fifty.
Me: Talk to Rich. His chore. I'll still let you do it for $25 though.
Mom: Oh, that's not nice. Your pool is gross!

Rich agrees. Is ecstatic, actually. He apparently missed the $25 price tag from earlier as he was making lunch for everyone.

So how does one lose money at a yard sale? You pay too much for an ad, you replace stolen signs the day of the sale, and then you pay your sister (who did a freakin' awesome job, by the way) $50 to clean out your pool, home to Henry and Devon's new best friend the bull frog, and get sun burnt in the process and having to spend money on aloe.
On top of all that, you then spend money for a new pool filter for your newly cleaned pool so that this time it stays that way.
Luckily, conversations (for the most part) steered clear of Jesus, church, God, and the like, but I also missed George Stephanopoulus, but them's the breaks. If you like, Labor Day weekend we'll be hosting the Third Bi-annual Multi-Family Hughes Yard Sale... but this time, without the ad, the pool cleaning fees, and no neon-green signs, either...

Lesson's learned. But that explains the recent lack of fresh blogs... Hopefully, this week I'll hear all about silly religious things I can tell you all about, but until then, Happy Memorial Day!

Monday, May 22, 2006

The Exorcism Exercise...

So if I tune in to Action News tonight at eleven, I can hear about actual exorcisms being performed in my area...

No, I am not a time traveler from the first century CE, I swear. At least, that's what the Matrix is telling me.

Seriously folks, exorcisms? Now, don't get me wrong. I believe there are "spirits," ghosts, if you will, even atmospheric multidimensional phenomenon that, as of right now in today's day and age, we cannot explain, whether that be other sentient beings here on earth in another dimension, whether that be "souls" of people that have "passed on," or maybe even the power of the mind to produce, or create, phenomenon outside of ourselves... who knows?

But are you seriously going to tell me that evil demons, monster spirits who are servants of the great horned beast named Lucifer, are actively seeking out people, inhabiting their bodies, and causing them to scratch their own eyes out? If you ask me, it sounds like they need a good dose of Ritalin or Zoloft, but not being a scientist or a psychologist, I lack the credibility or credentials to say whether something is or isn't psychosomatic...

However, I think we cross a dangerous line when we validate the unknown by giving it a religious label and attribute powers that we hold within ourselves to a "power," whether evil or good, that simply has no basis in science....

Stick with me here, and I'll try to explain why this is not a religious bashing (Or maybe it is and I am simply a tool of the devil who is using me to send more souls to hell [incidentally, how does the devil make out in this deal anyway? The more human souls he gets into hell, he gets frequent flier miles to travel outside of hell every now and then to an air-conditioned room?]).

It used to be assumed that the earth was flat.... Why? Well, no one had seen the "edge" of the world, as it were. No one knew you could start at China and... end up back at China again simply by continuing to sail east (while detouring around the continents, of course). Of course, Columbus, the Vikings, and many other discoverers and scientists figured out the world was, indeed, round (or at least elliptical), and the church called it heresy. Of course, there are still people, believe it or not, that still believe the Earth is flat... whacko's.

It used to be assumed that the sun revolved around the Earth.... Why? Well, it says in the Bible:

Joshua 10:13 And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. [Is] not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.
Habakkuk 3:11 The sun [and] moon stood still in their habitation: at the light of thine arrows they went, [and] at the shining of thy glittering spear.
This, said the church, was incontrovertible proof that Galileo was a heretic...

Of course, science has since shown that the past's perceptions of our world, literally, were not correct, but since religion had attributed certain "otherworldly" power to these concepts, it became "wrong" to state against these conclusions.

Of course, there are still those who believe that anything unknown is not meant to be known, and therefore, must be attributed to some "higher power" or "god" that has a plan and a knowledge of the innermost workings of our world and lives...

I'm reminded of a book I read once, and forgive me, as I read so many books in such a short amount of time that I don't remember the name or author, but the premise was something like this: God was the narrator, and he said something to the effect of:

Hey, God here. I have to say, you humans amaze me! You figure out all these cool things, how they work, how it happens... I mean, look at me. I say, Hmm, I want a blue whale, and Poof! There's a whale! But then you guys, you know, you just kind of take my whale and say, "Oh look, this is how he breathes, and this is how he swims, and this is what they do to make such-and-such happen... You make me amazed by what I do!
Cracked me the hell up!

And I think it can be proper to suppose there may be a god or gods, there may be some things that may never be explainable by our standards of science and methods of learning, I think it wrong to simply say, "It's of the devil!" Or "It's of God!" and prey on the poor souls who don't know any better, whether that be through willful ignorance or blissful ignorance... God may or may not be behind our unexplained phenomenon that we "see" and "experience," but I think we do that god a disservice by putting actions and miracles in his mouth... Know what I mean?

Incidentally, this whole "souls" thing had me wondering... you know how fundie Christians like to say that as soon as an egg it fertilized it has a soul? Well, and correct me if I'm wrong, does that mean identical twins share one soul? I mean, twins can separate anytime from fertilization to up to 3 months before birth (the later the separation occurs, the higher likelihood that they will be Siamese twins...). Unless the soul isn't "implanted" by god until later, which would then mean that abortion isn't "murder"...

Well, I'll just digress on this one for now...

Friday, May 19, 2006

Compassionate Conservatism At Its Finest...

"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."
-- George Bush

(Thanks to God Vs. Darwin for this quote.)

So I Have a Virus...

No, nothing that horrendous! Geez, what do you people think about when I'm not around? Bad, bad reader!

It's just your run-of-the-mill common cold. Nothing fancy, no bell's or whistles proclaiming the end of all mankind, hell, it's not even a subsidiary of Flu, Inc.! But alas, it is very draining. And annoying.

And being that even when I am tired and annoyed, my brain still took this as an opportunity to think about Intelligent Design, and what the hell kind of Intelligent Designer would make a cold virus? I mean, what the hell? If the ID was so intelligent, wouldn't he/she have made the world without a silly virus known only to annoy you? Why make viruses at all? Couldn't ID think of another method of population control?

So, as I'm laying there in bed, snot dripping and hacking up a lung which I will preserve in case I may need it back again in the future, now I'm pissed. My nose is clogged, my throat is dry, it's 2 in the fucking morning, I need to get up at 6:30 to drag my ass into work and deal with people who don't know how to do anything and have ridiculous deadlines, but what am I really angry about? Not that I'm a host to a microorganism that can't be killed, not that I have a job that starts too early in the morning, but at the so-called Intelligent Designer.

Apparently the ID skipped school, because basic science and biology class could point out a whole host of stupid things he/she could have incorporated into this chaotic world. I mean, why do we even need our wisdom teeth when most people need them taken out, or they'll die of infection? (I, fortunately, still have my wisdom teeth, but am missing an appendix, a lot of cartilage around my right knee, and a hunk of skin off my spine, not to mention several annoyingly placed chicken pox scars...) So, where's the intelligence in the wisdom tooth? The appendix?

I am going to start a petition. To rename the Intelligent Design movement to "The Flawed Designer" argument. It's more accurate, acknowledges the imperfections that evolution is still working toward getting rid of, and doesn't set anyone's hopes too high.

Really, I would think that most people would make fun of the great IDer if only because he thought the sun wasn't a star, wasn't needed to give off light, thought the moon did give off light, and never bothered to mention when he created the cockroach. I mean, let's face it, they, too, are indestructible, so if you ask me, the cockroach must be the real chosen people of God.

Which really makes me wonder... How gross and disgustingly dirty will heaven be?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Is It Any Wonder?

So I was working on a book today (at work, I think, is implied), and I was astounded by what I was reading. (I cannot say the title or author, as the book is not yet published) Apparently, the percentage of Americans who "reject evolution" as the basis for human life is astronomically absurd! And what's even more astounding is that a percentage of Americans also believe that you need to believe in God to be moral!

What the hell?!?!

In my working on finding historical, non-biblical evidence of Christ (and I promise, the post is coming soon), I stumbled across this web site: Why Won't God Heal Amputees? I was just perusing the sight, and it challenges some very important questions about the so-called healing power of prayer, the promises in the bible for healing when asking God, and some other such puzzling questions... You all should check it out!

I really have nothing else to blog about lately... I kind of lead a boring life! Plus work is so swamped due to silly dead lines and illogical scheduling, I hate staring at a computer when I get home... But alas! There's plenty of Internet out there for you all to entertain yourselves! So until something extremely dramatic happens (or until Bush, the AFA, or Phelps piss me off again), tata for now!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Homosexuals, the Senate, and the Looney Right-Wing

So the following is an e-mail, in its entirety, that I received from the American Family Association. Apparently I am on their mailing list ever since I took a vote on the CE/BCE and BC/AD issue that they think will destroy the American Family.

U.S. Senate To Vote On Homosexual Marriage June 6
The most important vote in the Senate this year! The future of our children is at stake.

Dear Jason,
On June 6, the U.S. Senate will vote on the constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman.
Time is short! It is critical that you contact your senators and ask them to vote for the Marriage Protection Amendment (MPA).
Once homosexual marriage is legal, our religious liberties will be stripped away. Even pro-homosexual marriage advocates agree with that statement. To understand how this will happen, please take time read Dr. Maggie Gallagher's very detailed and accurate article by clicking here. Print it out and give a copy to your pastor!
We expect Democratic senators to vote to kill the MPA. The public is not aware that the Democratic National Committee has given thousands of dollars to homosexual groups to help promote homosexual marriage.
The groups supporting homosexual marriage have activist judges waiting to make homosexual marriage legal. It is expected that the Washington state Supreme Court will rule homosexual marriage legal as soon as the elections are over. Some feel the ruling has already been made, but they will not release it until after the November elections. They don't want to hurt the pro-homosexual liberal nominees in the elections.
Only a constitutional amendment will stop homosexual marriage from becoming the law of the land.
Take Action
It is extremely important that you email your senators today, and get as many others as possible to do the same. Please, please forward this to your family and friends!
Click here to send an email to your two senators.
If you think our efforts are worthy, would you please support us with a small gift? Thank you for caring enough to get involved.

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends!
I will now proceed to destroy their entire fear-based argument about the "evilness" of this issue.

1. Once homosexual marriage is legal, our religious liberties will be stripped away. Even pro-homosexual marriage advocates agree with that statement.
Um, no, I don't agree, because that is idiocy. Religious freedom is one of the key elements of our Constitution. You (if you are a fundie neo-con living in fear of two men that hold hands) will not have to change your beliefs. Your church will not have to perform homosexual marriages. You can even still preach against them if you so desire. You can still go to church, you can still send out hate e-mails such as this one if you like, hell, you can even tell us we're still going to hell. No religious liberties could or would be stripped. Dumbasses.

2. The public is not aware that the Democratic National Committee has given thousands of dollars to homosexual groups to help promote homosexual marriage.
Okay, dumbasses, listen up. The DNC doesn't give money to organizations, organizations give them money to help elect and promote democratic candidates. And the Democrats have never even said they were pro-gay marriage, they simply aren't stupid enough to want to write discrimination into the Constitution! Half the time they hem and haw and say, "We're for civil unions." Yes, they too are fuckin' wimps half the time, but at least they aren't in-your-face hate-mongers, just behind our backs.

3. The groups supporting homosexual marriage have activist judges waiting to make homosexual marriage legal. It is expected that the Washington state Supreme Court will rule homosexual marriage legal as soon as the elections are over. Some feel the ruling has already been made, but they will not release it until after the November elections. They don't want to hurt the pro-homosexual liberal nominees in the elections.
Sigh... Paranoid much? "Activist judges," eh? Yeah, I can see it now, we're all meeting in our underground bunker off the coast of the Basemantic Ocean, trying to figure out timetables with pie charts and graphs, getting thousand upon millions of dollars in campaign funds from the DNC to try to bribe those "activist judges" into ruling against the Constitution they swore on the fucking Bible to uphold just so Rich and I can get married in a church who has been forced into Homosexual Activist Slavery by the Left-Wing Socialist Movement, subsidiary of the Homosexual Agenda, of which I am a proud, card-carrying member. But I digress.

If the Washington Supreme Court rules that to deny two individuals who love each other a piece of paper from a civil court that simply states that what's his is mine and what's mine is his and has no religious overtones (implied or overt), it isn't because they are afraid of the Big Bad Homo's in their designer Prada S.W.A.T. suits. It's because they have found that the constitution states that all people must be treated equally, with dignity, respect, and the right to liberty and pursuit of happiness. Is this too hard a concept to grasp?

4. Only a constitutional amendment will stop homosexual marriage from becoming the law of the land.
Hey, that might be the only accurate statement in the whole e-mail! See, truth isn't that hard or scary!

CHALLENGE: If anyone, anywhere can give me ONE sound, reasonable, logical, non-fundie-bible based argument why it matters if two men or two women get married, please post it here. (That includes you, Adam.)

I have not read "Maggie Gallagher's very detailed and accurate article" (Sure it is) yet, but I'm sure that when it's all said and done, it won't be worth my time, or the bytes of data it took to create it. However, in the spirit of remaining a non-censuring blogger, I have relinked her article from the e-mail to the quoted e-mail above so that you, dear reader, can read it at your leisure, if you so desire.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Oh, I Love the Rainy Nights!

How about these awesome thunder storms we've been getting in the southern Pocono area? Poor New England has been swamped--and I do mean swamped--with about 11 inches on average from the same system giving me about 2 inches of rain and freakin' awesome light shows!

But even 2 inches of rain comes at a price.

So I am a relatively happy homeowner. Not a lot of neighbors, a great view from the deck, almost a full acre of land... and rusty pipes.

Now, we've all learned about how anyone in need of iron in their blood can come get a drink from my tap and be instantly healed for at least a year from an 8 ounce glass of water. And despite the ever-present orange glow that makes my bathtub look like a murder scene even on a good day, we really haven't had any major issues with the house since we bought it.

That is, until Mother's Day.

So I'm in the Basement of Little Light and Creepy Cobwebs. Rich is upstairs doing whatever Rich does on a Sunday morning. I was looking for my gardening tools so I could go out and try to make my house look semi-presentable with the 3 flats of impatiens I bought at the Homo-Depot when suddenly, from the Dark Cave of Eternal Dripping beneath the sink beside the washer comes a sound reminiscent of Niagara Falls. I drop my shovel (Ouch! My damn foot!) and quickly but limpingly, while cursing, made my way to that side of the basement and peer into the Dark Cave of Eternal Dripping. "Dark Cave" should give you a clue as to how much I could see of our new-found natural wonder.

Flashlight, I think, and turn around only to bang my head on a pipe in the ceiling.

Cursing, limping, and hoping to make a few tourist dollars off my newly discovered wonder, I make my way to the Stairs of Ominous Creaking Sounds and yell upstairs, "Rich!" maybe five or six times before I hear a faint, "Are you calling me?" from the living room. I roll my eyes, getting reminded of the new bruise from the pipe that will be forming on my forehead. I yell, in what I think is a sarcastic-laden way, "No, I'm calling my other boyfriend!"

I stand there for like 10 seconds, hear no movement from anywhere in the house, so I yell again, "Are you coming?!"

I hear him making his way to the top of the basement stairs. "Grab the flashlight before you come down!" I yell.

"What is going on?"

"I need a flashlight!" I turn back around, throwing my hands up in front of my eyeballs just in case another rogue pipe tries to take me out, and once again go to peer into the Dark Cave of Eternal Dripping. I hear Rich coming down the Stairs of Ominous Creaking, and he says, "I thought you weren't calling me..."

"Didn't you hear me? Hand me the flashlight."

"I thought you were trying to be funny."

Like a dumbass from Retard School, I point the flashlight toward my eyes while I click it on, blinding myself in the process of making sure the damn thing works. Then, with Rich hunkering down beside me saying "What's that noise?" we see it in all its splendid glory and beauty. Plus, I kinda knew what was happening as the Amazon made it's way toward nether regions of the unexplored basement, a pipe. Or rather, a pipe that looked like some sort of cap should be on it since it leads to absolutely nowhere except the empty space about 1 foot off the cement floor.

This, dear reader, is a Problem.

As the Basemantic Ocean slowly forms around our feet, I start yelling,"Make it stop! Make it stop!" and, amazingly enough, before our very eyes, Pipenagra Falls slowly dries up. We straighten up form our crouched positions and look at each other, puzzlement. If lightbulbs really did appear over people's heads, Rich's was a mega-watt floodlight complete with alarm. "Let's just put a bucket under the pipe, and empty it every night."

Okay, I think, this could work... so over the course of the day, we found out it takes either:
  1. Three flushings of the toilet;
  2. One ten-minute shower;
  3. Or 1 load of dishes till the bucket needs emptied.
Granted, we could call a plumber, have him seal the pipe, and then have our whole house damaged because we don't have the money to put in a new septic system, because, alas, after three hours of snaking, we still couldn't get the pipe from spewing overflow into the Basemantic Ocean.

But we did find out that within the next two springs we will have public water and sewer. Thus, an end to orange water, Basemantic Oceans, and worrying about the cost of replacing our septic system...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Incest, Bestiality, and Pedophilia... Oh My!

So let's talk a bit about the three mentioned above, as it seems that Rick Santorum (among others) think that the above are the reasons, the "slippery slope," as it were, that gay marriage should never be legal, as it will eventually lead to those above becoming legal. Or, as one blogger I read put it, "Once you accept one sexual deviancy, you accept them all." Yes, reader, I, too Guphaw'd at this, but be that as it may, we must refute the idiocy if the idiocy is ever to learn. Apparently, some straight people think that since they figured out how some of their tabs and slots fit together, they own the market on "non-deviant" sexual relations. So to refute the hair-brained ideology, let's begin, shall we?

1. Incest:
Defined: Etymology: Middle English, from Latin incestuous sexual impurity, from incestuous impure, from in- + castus pure -- more at CASTE
: sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry; also : the statutory crime of such a relationship
Problem: Sexual contact between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.). This usually takes the form of an older family member sexually abusing a child or adolescent.
Incest is considered by many experts to be a particularly damaging form of sexual abuse because it is perpetrated by individuals whom the victim trusts and depends upon. In addition, support can also be lacking and pressure to keep silent powerful as fear of the family breaking up can be overwhelming to other family members.
Exceptions: There are, however, different cultural expectations and rules about incest. For instance, in some areas of the Arab world and southern India it is estimated that as many as 50% of marriages occur between first cousins. In addition, in southern India it is still common to see a maternal uncle (the mother's brother) marry the first daughter.
My Thoughts: First off, huge ick factor. But I feel as long as they are both consenting adults and acknowledge the facts that children may be damaged emotionally or mentally, I don't see any reason why two consenting adults can't engage in a long-term, sexual relationship. Although I think sharing in-laws could be creepier when you are all actually related... But again, eww!

2. Bestiality:
Defined: Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
1 : the condition or status of a lower animal
2 : display or gratification of bestial traits or impulses
3 : sexual relations between a human being and a lower animal
Problem: Um, not even the same species? Abuse of animals? Eww!
Exceptions: You'd have to move to Sweden, Belgium, or the Netherlands to practice bestiality legally... sick Europeans...
My Thoughts: Again, the ick factor is out of this world. One blogger (who shall remain slightly anonymous (i.e., I won't say who, but he is linked on this page somewhere...) said "Why would you need the consent of an animal to have sex but not to eat?" Silly argument, but I will answer. While I do enjoy the occasional steak dinner (medium rare), at least I am not repeatedly assaulting the animal while it is still alive. It's a quick, it's over, and hopefully done as humanly as possible (sorry, Ergo! I know how you feel about the term "humanely" when referring to animals! [Ergo is not the individual with the silly argument, FYI]). Sex, however? It's abuse, torture, and it happens over and over again, not like killing for food. In fact, quite a bit different. If this makes me some type of hypocrite, so be it. And while I'm sure you can train an animal to enjoy being raped (much like you can train an dolphin to do a triple somersault through a burning hoop), you certainly wouldn't see either being performed in the natural environment. Most animals experience a tearing of their "areas" and bleeding, as, and I would think this would be common sense, some tabs were not meant to fit in some slots.

3. Pedophilia:
Defined: Etymology: New Latin
: sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object
Problem: Impact of Child Sexual Abuse
  • It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today.
  • Approximately 95% of teenage prostitutes have been sexually abused.
  • Long term effects of child abuse include fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and difficulty with close relationships.
  • Clinical findings of adult victims of sexual abuse include problems in interpersonal relationships associated with an underlying mistrust. Generally, adult victims of incest have a severely strained relationship with their parents that is marked by feelings of mistrust, fear, ambivalence, hatred, and betrayal. These feelings may extend to all family members.
  • Sexual victimization may profoundly interfere with and alter the development of attitudes toward self, sexuality, and trusting relationships during the critical early years of development.
  • There is the clinical assumption that children who feel compelled to keep sexual abuse a secret suffer greater psychic distress than victims who disclose the secret and receive assistance and support.
  • Adolescents with a history of sexual abuse are significantly more likely than their counterparts to engage in sexual behavior that puts them at risk for HIV infection
  • Young girls who are forced to have sex are three times more likely to develop psychiatric disorders or abuse alcohol and drugs in adulthood, than girls who are not sexually abused.
  • Among both adolescent girls and boys, a history of sexual or physical abuse appears to increase the risk of disordered eating behaviors, such as self-induced vomiting or use of laxatives to avoid gaining weight.
And that's just scratching the surface! Did you also know that 95%--95%--of all sexual crimes against children are committed by someone the child knows and trusts!!! 80% of the time it's a direct relative!!! (i.e., father, uncle...) And despite all all of that-- A CHILD DOESN'T HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE OR EXPERIENCE OR MATURITY TO GIVE CONSENT. And, 92% of all men that commit pedophilia identify as STRAIGHT. Heterosexual. Gender of a child also has nothing to do with anything. Pedophilia is all about control and power, never gender.
Exceptions: None.
My Thoughts: I think I pretty much covered that. But let me just say, as a gay man, not only am I not more likely to commit pedophilia, I want a MAN. Not a boy or a girl. A MAN.
Okay, after all that, what have we deduced? There is a line, fundies and ignoramus's... The line between consenting adults and children and animals which
  1. Cannot give consent
  2. Experience much physical and psychological harm
  3. Are usually not willing participants
Now, you may argue, what about polygamy? Consenting Adults.

My philosophy? You have the right to a consensual, adult relationship as long as it harms no one and doesn't infringe on someone else's right to life and liberty. How hard is that to fathom?

Sorry this got to be such a long post, but hey, someone had to say it, right?

Sunday, May 7, 2006

The Salvation of the Blue Whale, the Venus Fly-trap, and Other Creatures...

Why is it that people (like Adam G., my e-mail stalker) feel they need to tell me their opinion on things, knowing full well I shall disagree, then post about it here? Belligerence? God-complex? Self-righteous humility?

Regardless of the true intent behind the action, I think we can always trace the root of the problem back to the "Great Commission" that Christ gave his disciples right before he ascended to sit at the right-hand of god (or so we were told to believe). The commission is as stated:

Mark 16:15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
Most fundies take this as free license to knock on your door on any given day (and from my experience, usually a Saturday morning, the day you are trying to sleep in and ignore the banging at the door!), and try to get you to come to church to learn about the love of Jesus. But what strikes me, perhaps in a quite silly way, is the word "creature." A quick look at the word "creature" in the original Greek, and the definition is, in its entirety:

  1. the act of founding, establishing, building etc
    • the act of creating, creation
    • creation i.e. thing created
      • of individual things, beings, a creature, a creation
        1. anything created
        2. after a rabbinical usage (by which a man converted from idolatry to Judaism was called)
        3. the sum or aggregate of things created
    • institution, ordinance

Basically, anything that God has created. Hampsters, crab grass, sugar maples, duck-billed platypus's, even the person trying to sleep in on Saturday morning.

Now, you may be thinking, "Then why aren't there mass fundraising-efforts to preach the gospel to the inch-worm, or the dandelion?" Of course, if you were to pose this to a fundie, he would probably laugh at you, tell you Christ only meant people, and then shake his head at you like you were the crazy one.

But I ask, quite sincerely, if your God tells you "every creature" and not "man," and you take everything else in the bible literally (like the 7-day creation process, world-wide flooding, as well as talking snakes and donkeys), why would you turn your back on the three-toed sloth?

Perhaps I am being quite silly. Or perhaps we can chalk it up to more hypocrisy on the part of the fundie. Either way, I think it safe to say the fundie will be quite surprised if and when they make it to heaven. The ass might turn to them and say:

And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times? Numbers 22:28
Will the fundie turn to the donkey and say, "Blow it out your ass!"? Or, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."?

Hmm. Remind me to ask a fundie about it sometime. Adam, feel free to send an e-mail. (Or for Christ's sake, just post it here! It'll only end up on this blog anyway!)

Friday, May 5, 2006

Would You Say I Have a Plethora of Pinata's?

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Wait... what's that? You have no idea what Cinco de Mayo is, or what it means? Far from being a quote from the Three Amigo's (possibly one of the funniest movies ever!), here is a brief history lesson, thanks to Yahoo!:

The 5th of May is not Mexican Independence Day, but it should be! And Cinco de Mayo is not an American holiday, but it should be. Mexico declared its independence from mother Spain on midnight, the 15th of September, 1810. And it took 11 years before the first Spanish soldiers were told and forced to leave Mexico.

So, why Cinco de Mayo? And why should Americans savor this day as well? Because 4,000 Mexican soldiers smashed the French and traitor Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City on the morning of May 5, 1862.

The French had landed in Mexico (along with Spanish and English troops) five months earlier on the pretext of collecting Mexican debts from the newly elected government of democratic President (and Indian) Benito Juarez. The English and Spanish quickly made deals and left. The French, however, had different ideas.

Under Emperor Napoleon III, who detested the United States, the French came to stay. They brought a Hapsburg prince with them to rule the new Mexican empire. His name was Maximilian; his wife, Carolota. Napoleon's French Army had not been defeated in 50 years, and it invaded Mexico with the finest modern equipment and with a newly reconstituted Foreign Legion. The French were not afraid of anyone, especially since the United States was embroiled in its own Civil War.

The French Army left the port of Vera Cruz to attack Mexico City to the west, as the French assumed that the Mexicans would give up should their capital fall to the enemy -- as European countries traditionally did.

Under the command of Texas-born General Zaragosa, (and the cavalry under the command of Colonel Porfirio Diaz, later to be Mexico's president and dictator), the Mexicans awaited. Brightly dressed French Dragoons led the enemy columns. The Mexican Army was less stylish.

General Zaragosa ordered Colonel Diaz to take his cavalry, the best in the world, out to the French flanks. In response, the French did a most stupid thing; they sent their cavalry off to chase Diaz and his men, who proceeded to butcher them. The remaining French infantrymen charged the Mexican defenders through sloppy mud from a thunderstorm and through hundreds of head of stampeding cattle stirred up by Indians armed only with machetes.

When the battle was over, many French were killed or wounded and their cavalry was being chased by Diaz' superb horsemen miles away. The Mexicans had won a great victory that kept Napoleon III from supplying the confederate rebels for another year, allowing the United States to build the greatest army the world had ever seen. This grand army smashed the Confederates at Gettysburg just 14 months after the battle of Puebla, essentially ending the Civil War.

Union forces were then rushed to the Texas/Mexican border under General Phil Sheridan, who made sure that the Mexicans got all the weapons and ammunition they needed to expel the French. American soldiers were discharged with their uniforms and rifles if they promised to join the Mexican Army to fight the French. The American Legion of Honor marched in the Victory Parade in Mexico, City.

It might be a historical stretch to credit the survival of the United States to those brave 4,000 Mexicans who faced an army twice as large in 1862. But who knows?

In gratitude, thousands of Mexicans crossed the border after Pearl Harbor to join the U.S. Armed Forces. As recently as the Persian Gulf War, Mexicans flooded American consulates with phone calls, trying to join up and fight another war for America.

Mexicans, you see, never forget who their friends are, and neither do Americans. That's why Cinco de Mayo is such a party -- A party that celebrates freedom and liberty. There are two ideals which Mexicans and Americans have fought shoulder to shoulder to protect, ever since the 5th of May, 1862. VIVA! el CINCO DE MAYO!!
So here we are, in America, having one of the hugest immigration issues our history may have ever faced, but we'll be damned if we don't celebrate something with a reason to drink!!! Plus, I'm Irish, so it's not like I need a real reason, just something that sounds good... (hehehe... sounds good!)

Thursday, May 4, 2006

Oh, the Concerns of the American Family...

Boy, I'm sure glad the American Family Association is worried about this little piece of ... I'm actually not sure what you would call it ... societal dating?

Apparently, the Kentucky Board of Education is introducing legislation to adopt the BCE (Before Common Era) and CE (Common Era) dating system, and dropping the BC (Before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini, Latin for "in the year of our Lord") method. So apparently, this will traumatize American families so freakin' much that the AFA is taking a poll on whether we (you know, the American Family) feel this is a bad, bad, evil, evil thing.

History has already proven that the exact date of Christ's birth (and yes, recently I have found non-biblical evidence of his life, but that's for another day) was not, in fact, 0. Most likely more along the lines of 3 to 7 CE (Ooops! I may mean AD! I wouldn't want to harm any American families by stating otherwise!).

The current voting on the Web site is... Guess what? I dunno. They wouldn't show me the results of the vote so far, and neither could I find the results anywhere on their site. Maybe it's because I bothered to vote that Yes, Kentucky should adopt BCE and CE, since BC and AD are inaccurate anyway. (And that's only the logical argument.)

But, since I am not able to see if my vote was the tie-breaker or whatever, perhaps they decided to drop it? Maybe they no longer care? Or maybe they realized it was a stupid battle. Who knows?

Also, on their Web site, you can read about how Ford is sponsoring Gay Marriage! Dum-dum-dum-duuuuummmmmmmm. Again, how this is a "danger" to straight couples I have yet to figure out. But then again, they're really only concerned with saving an inaccurate dating method.

*DISCLAIMER*: No American Families were harmed in the posting of this Blog. If it seems that any American Families were harmed or injured in any way as a result of this Blog, please contact your ass.

I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts...

So it seems that this Sunday, May 7, is to be names "Ten Commandments Day" according to a bunch of freaks who feel that God somehow has been in control of America all along (And somehow only lately lost track? Sounds like God may have Alzheimer's...) and say that the following three questions:
  1. Is it possible that the mark of God-- the Ten Commandments was placed in America over 500 years ago?
  2. Is it possible that God claimed the United States over 200 years before the declaration of independence?
  3. Is it possible that the notion of One Nation Under God literally got its stamp of approval in the wilderness of North America ?
and that these questions and more will be answered on the Ten Commandments Day telecast May 7th, 2006. I guess if you're really dying to know if the above things are true, you can go to the website to find out what stations to watch and when, but I mean, come on, I hope you aren't expecting anything resembling logic...

Their statement of faith?

We, the members of the Ten Commandments Commission and supporting people of faith, proclaim Ten Commandments Day on the first Sunday in the month of May, commencing on Sunday, May seventh of 2006. Furthermore, we proclaim Ten Commandments Day to be a day dedicated for the display, awareness, commemoration and celebration of the Decalogue which we know to be the Divine foundation of the JudeoChristian faith. We, the members of the commission, serve as a cohesive group of spiritual leaders representing millions of followers who affirm the beauty and the uniqueness of our differences. We believe that rooted in God's Ten Commandments is a Divine plan that transcends color and diversity, sanctions brotherhood of man, and respects cultural expressions in all of God's children. We, who serve as a council of leaders, are committed to utilizing our united passion to provide purpose and direction for reversing the enormous tide of immorality continuing to be released throughout the United States of America and on all continents of the world. This unified voice will culminate annually on Ten Commandments Day and serve as a global, spiritual platform calling for a renewed awareness of morality based on the Ten Commandments. This platform will respond to the call echoed throughout creation for a true expression of love, harmony and reconciliation among all nations, ethnic diversities and genders through education and rededication to the moral standard as given by our Loving Creator. Therefore, we are calling on all community and spiritual leaders; churches, synagogues, fellowships, ministries, organizations, and all who are concerned about moral values to celebrate the annual Ten Commandments Day by hosting local events in support of the Ten Commandments and what they represent. Finally, we proclaim the need to heal the wounds of history through strategic and practical objectives, proactive love and obedience to the Commandments.
Don't you just love how all the fundies proclaim "diversity" as long as you subscribe to their theology? Not that religious beliefs are the only thing diverse about our world, but their view of morality and religious teachings leave very little room for individual anything, let alone beliefs.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, a group of secular humanists are also announcing that May 7 will be "Ten Amendments Day" to counteract against the religious intolerance being propagated. From this article:

On Ten Amendments Day, May 7th, we come together in local communities in supporting our Constitution, the freedoms it preserves, and the rights it protects. Why is there a need to support and promote the Bill of Rights?

Powerful forces are working to undermine the principles that have kept Americans free for 215 years and jeopardize the liberties guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.

Religious activists are seeking to install God in our government. On May 7th, the Ten Commandments Day Commission and millions of followers will lobby to replace the Ten Amendments with the Ten Commandments, replacing our civil rights with their religious preferences.

Visit the Ten Amendments Day website at to learn about the Bill of Rights and the debates that went into the creation of our secular Constitution. You'’ll find articles about the Ten Commandments and the current court cases attempting to force religion into the government, as well as other press resources.
I will leave it to you, good reader, to determine which side of the fence I reside on.

Maybe the Ten Commandments people will move to South Carolina?

Monday, May 1, 2006

I Knew I Should've Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque!

So I think everyone has heard of this slightly wacko group of right-wingers in South Carolina who not only have started their own "town," but apparently want to eventually set up a theocracy here in the grand ol' U.S. of A. A recent article about the yahoo's can be found here. Corey Burnell, who apparently is the head honky behind the brouhaha in South Carolina and started this whole movement with his good bible-thumping wife Nicole, had this to say in the article:

"We would allow people of all sorts of ideologies and races. But when you talk about the law and how the law is applied, law is effected to change or correct behavior."
I thought law was to protect people from crime, which I guess in a way is "changing or correcting behavior," but I think that's more of a psychological/sociological issue, not a criminal one. But I digress. Nicole seems to be confused as to why her views are "wrong" while the so-called values of the "liberals" are okay. She says:

"They're wanting to teach everybody about homosexuality. I'm not. Why is when they do it, it's okay, but when I want to do it, it's not okay. I disagree with them. They're wrong."
I think what Nicole, bless her simple mind, fails to understand is this: I, and certainly everyone I know about, doesn't want to "teach" homosexuality any more than people want to "teach" heterosexuality. The difference between our two camps is this: She feels her opinions should be enshrined in law and everyone should abide by those laws which she deems to be "biblically lawful," while at the same time making a token gesture of "diversity"; Liberals (for lack of a more appropriate term) think it's fine that you believe homosexuality is wrong. I really do think it's okay that they think this. But where we disagree is that she thinks her opinion should be law, while I believe the law should be inclusive enough to allow for a woman to marry a woman is she so desires, or a man marry a man, and still allow men to marry women. I am not trying to make all men marry men. Not only would the overall good-looks of the homosexual population go into a death-spiral (hehehe), but, and let me be real clear about this: not everyone is gay and wants to marry a person of the same gender. Of course, not all homosexual individuals want to get married anyway, but, shouldn't we have the choice? Nicole and Corey do. Why is it so evil to allow us to choose?

Yet another scary view from the Corey's little bible-orgy is this:

Christian Exodus has set its sights on six conservative South Carolina counties, places big enough for its followers to find jobs, but small enough places where change can quickly take place. By 2014, these political pioneers want enough people in key positions to make a dramatic impact on statewide elections.
Think George W. "The Dancing Monkey" is bad? Humph. You people haven't seen anything yet. What would Christian Exodus's main goals be? Let's take a gander. From the website of Christian Exodus: desires the return of constitutionally limited government to the whole of these United States. Recent events suggest that no such return to constitutional principles is likely. Therefore, we will return such principles to one sovereign State by moving thousands of Christian Constitutionalists.

South Carolina can secure the rights of her citizens by interposing her authority under the 10th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. The federal government operates outside its delegated powers in the areas of education, religion, abortion, domestic behavior, intrastate communication, intrastate commerce, taxation, welfare, healthcare, gun regulation, and a host of other subjects. Most powers concerning these topics are reserved to the States under the 10th Amendment. Therefore, we will see to it that South Carolina resumes her governmental authority in these matters and that our counties and State ignore federal directives in violation of the 10th Amendment. will continue to move Christians into South Carolina until we possess a representative majority in both houses of the General Assembly. Such a strategy will make the sovereignty debate public, and the influence of our membership will tip the scales in favor of constitutionally limited government founded upon Christian principles.
Well, that doesn't sound so bad, you say. Sounds kind of like how it maybe should be, you say. Let's take a closer look at the so-called rights of theirs that are being violated. Again, from the site:

We are violated in our right to Life:
  • Unborn babies are subject to slaughter by abortionists and their own mothers under any pretext whatsoever.(Is there suddenly a law that requires every one to get an abortion?)
  • The elderly, infirm, and disabled are subject to forced starvation and involuntary euthanasia.(And apparently, we don't have nursing homes, we have death camps...)
  • Citizens are subjected to the perils of imperialist entanglements abroad, and left unprotected from alien invaders at home.(Wait... a conservative against the war in Iraq?!?!?! Whoa, I think I feel dizzy...)

We are violated in our right to Liberty:
  • Abortion continues against the wishes of many States and in violation of the reserved powers of the States under the 10th Amendment.(Again, they aren't being forced to get abortions! If you think they are wrong, then don't have a fucking abortion!!!! Is this really that hard a concept to grasp?!?!)
  • Christians are denied their rights to free speech, freedom of the press, the display of religious monuments, and other expressions of faith in the public sphere.(Public sphere? Yes. Set 'em up at your churches, in your front lawns, in your graveyards... wherever the hell you want! Since when it is a "right" to force everyone else to look upon your idol worship of graven images? Oh, that almost makes it sound like you're breaking one of your top-ten commandments... something to think about, fundies! Do it wherever the hell you want, just not with everyone's money.)
  • Citizens are denied their rights to keep and bear arms sufficient for the restraint of tyranny.(They are dumb, aren't they? Unless there has recently been a law passed that says you can't have a gun... and in your hands, Mr. Burnell, I think I'm happy that you think you can't have one.)
  • Men, women, and children are involuntarily exposed to the corrupting influences of homosexuality, pornography, and other perversities protected and financed by the national government.(He must have fallen off the turnip truck just yesterday, folks. Don't want your kids to see something on TV? Turn the fucking thing off! Don't leave your porn sitting around and your kids won't find it! And since when is the government "financing" homosexuality and porn? Is there more going on behind Bush's shit-eating grin than the conservative's are telling?)
  • Sodomy is now legal and celebrated as "diversity" by order of the U.S. Supreme Court rather than condemned as perversion. Another usurpation of the rights of the States by the federal government.(Someone should tell him that when his wife gives him a blow-job... that's sodomy. Plus, it's a fact that more straight men engage in sodomy with their wives than gay men or lesbians... Don't believe me? Look it up. I'm not doing all your work for you.)
  • Families are subject to the trauma of no-fault divorce, often used to unjustly deny fathers equal protection under law and fundamental family rights.(Huh? Fundie say what? Someone sounds bitter about their latest serial-monogamy divorce...)
  • Children are seized from good parents arbitrarily and under false pretexts, and placed in the care of the state, as driven by federal funding.(Please tell me he isn't trying to defend Andrea Yates here... Please!)
  • Federal courts prevent children in public schools from freely practicing Christianity.(Um, no, federal law prohibits you from forcing all the other children to practice it. You can pray, your kid can pray, but since the teacher must be an example and dispenser of wisdom to all our children, he cannot endorse one religion over another, so while he won't be leading in you in prayer, you can still get on your knees and wail to whomever floats your boat about your miserable life...)
  • Children who pray in public schools are subject to prosecution.(Horse-shit. And if it did happen once, I hope that prosecutor lost his license.)
  • Federal expenditures on education are unconstitutional and promote revisionist history and statist sociology. Our schools continue to teach the discredited theory of Darwinian evolution.(Hah! Did he just say discredited?!?!?! I won't even bother to point out the flaws in this little ditty-bag of ill-logic!)

Sigh. I'm just glad I know all Christians aren't such dumb morons. I do wish they had a bigger mouth than their fundie counter-parts. But then again, then you all wouldn't find out how crazy they really were... until it was too late.

One last bit of idiocy from the fundies. It states on their web site:

Americans have lost the ability to distinguish rights from privileges.
So says the pot to the kettle. I hate to tell them, but this isn't a government by the Christians for the Christians. It's by the people for all the people.