Monday, May 1, 2006

I Knew I Should've Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque!

So I think everyone has heard of this slightly wacko group of right-wingers in South Carolina who not only have started their own "town," but apparently want to eventually set up a theocracy here in the grand ol' U.S. of A. A recent article about the yahoo's can be found here. Corey Burnell, who apparently is the head honky behind the brouhaha in South Carolina and started this whole movement with his good bible-thumping wife Nicole, had this to say in the article:

"We would allow people of all sorts of ideologies and races. But when you talk about the law and how the law is applied, law is effected to change or correct behavior."
I thought law was to protect people from crime, which I guess in a way is "changing or correcting behavior," but I think that's more of a psychological/sociological issue, not a criminal one. But I digress. Nicole seems to be confused as to why her views are "wrong" while the so-called values of the "liberals" are okay. She says:

"They're wanting to teach everybody about homosexuality. I'm not. Why is when they do it, it's okay, but when I want to do it, it's not okay. I disagree with them. They're wrong."
I think what Nicole, bless her simple mind, fails to understand is this: I, and certainly everyone I know about, doesn't want to "teach" homosexuality any more than people want to "teach" heterosexuality. The difference between our two camps is this: She feels her opinions should be enshrined in law and everyone should abide by those laws which she deems to be "biblically lawful," while at the same time making a token gesture of "diversity"; Liberals (for lack of a more appropriate term) think it's fine that you believe homosexuality is wrong. I really do think it's okay that they think this. But where we disagree is that she thinks her opinion should be law, while I believe the law should be inclusive enough to allow for a woman to marry a woman is she so desires, or a man marry a man, and still allow men to marry women. I am not trying to make all men marry men. Not only would the overall good-looks of the homosexual population go into a death-spiral (hehehe), but, and let me be real clear about this: not everyone is gay and wants to marry a person of the same gender. Of course, not all homosexual individuals want to get married anyway, but, shouldn't we have the choice? Nicole and Corey do. Why is it so evil to allow us to choose?

Yet another scary view from the Corey's little bible-orgy is this:

Christian Exodus has set its sights on six conservative South Carolina counties, places big enough for its followers to find jobs, but small enough places where change can quickly take place. By 2014, these political pioneers want enough people in key positions to make a dramatic impact on statewide elections.
Think George W. "The Dancing Monkey" is bad? Humph. You people haven't seen anything yet. What would Christian Exodus's main goals be? Let's take a gander. From the website of Christian Exodus: desires the return of constitutionally limited government to the whole of these United States. Recent events suggest that no such return to constitutional principles is likely. Therefore, we will return such principles to one sovereign State by moving thousands of Christian Constitutionalists.

South Carolina can secure the rights of her citizens by interposing her authority under the 10th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. The federal government operates outside its delegated powers in the areas of education, religion, abortion, domestic behavior, intrastate communication, intrastate commerce, taxation, welfare, healthcare, gun regulation, and a host of other subjects. Most powers concerning these topics are reserved to the States under the 10th Amendment. Therefore, we will see to it that South Carolina resumes her governmental authority in these matters and that our counties and State ignore federal directives in violation of the 10th Amendment. will continue to move Christians into South Carolina until we possess a representative majority in both houses of the General Assembly. Such a strategy will make the sovereignty debate public, and the influence of our membership will tip the scales in favor of constitutionally limited government founded upon Christian principles.
Well, that doesn't sound so bad, you say. Sounds kind of like how it maybe should be, you say. Let's take a closer look at the so-called rights of theirs that are being violated. Again, from the site:

We are violated in our right to Life:
  • Unborn babies are subject to slaughter by abortionists and their own mothers under any pretext whatsoever.(Is there suddenly a law that requires every one to get an abortion?)
  • The elderly, infirm, and disabled are subject to forced starvation and involuntary euthanasia.(And apparently, we don't have nursing homes, we have death camps...)
  • Citizens are subjected to the perils of imperialist entanglements abroad, and left unprotected from alien invaders at home.(Wait... a conservative against the war in Iraq?!?!?! Whoa, I think I feel dizzy...)

We are violated in our right to Liberty:
  • Abortion continues against the wishes of many States and in violation of the reserved powers of the States under the 10th Amendment.(Again, they aren't being forced to get abortions! If you think they are wrong, then don't have a fucking abortion!!!! Is this really that hard a concept to grasp?!?!)
  • Christians are denied their rights to free speech, freedom of the press, the display of religious monuments, and other expressions of faith in the public sphere.(Public sphere? Yes. Set 'em up at your churches, in your front lawns, in your graveyards... wherever the hell you want! Since when it is a "right" to force everyone else to look upon your idol worship of graven images? Oh, that almost makes it sound like you're breaking one of your top-ten commandments... something to think about, fundies! Do it wherever the hell you want, just not with everyone's money.)
  • Citizens are denied their rights to keep and bear arms sufficient for the restraint of tyranny.(They are dumb, aren't they? Unless there has recently been a law passed that says you can't have a gun... and in your hands, Mr. Burnell, I think I'm happy that you think you can't have one.)
  • Men, women, and children are involuntarily exposed to the corrupting influences of homosexuality, pornography, and other perversities protected and financed by the national government.(He must have fallen off the turnip truck just yesterday, folks. Don't want your kids to see something on TV? Turn the fucking thing off! Don't leave your porn sitting around and your kids won't find it! And since when is the government "financing" homosexuality and porn? Is there more going on behind Bush's shit-eating grin than the conservative's are telling?)
  • Sodomy is now legal and celebrated as "diversity" by order of the U.S. Supreme Court rather than condemned as perversion. Another usurpation of the rights of the States by the federal government.(Someone should tell him that when his wife gives him a blow-job... that's sodomy. Plus, it's a fact that more straight men engage in sodomy with their wives than gay men or lesbians... Don't believe me? Look it up. I'm not doing all your work for you.)
  • Families are subject to the trauma of no-fault divorce, often used to unjustly deny fathers equal protection under law and fundamental family rights.(Huh? Fundie say what? Someone sounds bitter about their latest serial-monogamy divorce...)
  • Children are seized from good parents arbitrarily and under false pretexts, and placed in the care of the state, as driven by federal funding.(Please tell me he isn't trying to defend Andrea Yates here... Please!)
  • Federal courts prevent children in public schools from freely practicing Christianity.(Um, no, federal law prohibits you from forcing all the other children to practice it. You can pray, your kid can pray, but since the teacher must be an example and dispenser of wisdom to all our children, he cannot endorse one religion over another, so while he won't be leading in you in prayer, you can still get on your knees and wail to whomever floats your boat about your miserable life...)
  • Children who pray in public schools are subject to prosecution.(Horse-shit. And if it did happen once, I hope that prosecutor lost his license.)
  • Federal expenditures on education are unconstitutional and promote revisionist history and statist sociology. Our schools continue to teach the discredited theory of Darwinian evolution.(Hah! Did he just say discredited?!?!?! I won't even bother to point out the flaws in this little ditty-bag of ill-logic!)

Sigh. I'm just glad I know all Christians aren't such dumb morons. I do wish they had a bigger mouth than their fundie counter-parts. But then again, then you all wouldn't find out how crazy they really were... until it was too late.

One last bit of idiocy from the fundies. It states on their web site:

Americans have lost the ability to distinguish rights from privileges.
So says the pot to the kettle. I hate to tell them, but this isn't a government by the Christians for the Christians. It's by the people for all the people.


Simon said...

Christians and Muslims should be sterilized, it's as simple as that.

Jason Hughes said...

If that were the case, I certainly wouldn't be here...

Dare I say, the world population at large would be greatly reduced... but I'm not sure if that would necessarily be a bad thing. :D

Cori said...

I'm glad Jason didn't quite lump ALL Christians in the same boat as Simon did... Simon, whose blog would you leave such delightful comments on if people like me were exterminated?!

The problem with the crowd Jason describes in the post above is that they push for such a black-and-white morality that it can only be riddled with contradictions. The same crowd that is against abortion is also for the death penalty - it just doesn't make sense to me. The thing with morality is that it tends to be frustratingly grey. I guess that's why we have juries and complicated court cases whose end results we can't alwats predict. Unfortunately for the 'fundies' we have to operate in the grey areas, which is why I opt for a morality based on the principles of love and an acknowledgement of our shared humanity rather than a morality based on contradictary, hypocritical legalism. But then again, insisting on a black-and-white, simplistic moral system is so much easier, so I can see why it may be a tempting route to follow...

Thanks for filling us in on some of the craziness out there, Jason!

Jason Hughes said...

Cori, I do try very hard not to make generalizations like that, but as my brother Tom pointed out a few posts ago, I sometimes do come across that way! Hey, I am only human!

Any type of world view that only encourages a "black-and-white" perspective will always lead to hypocrisy, cause nothing in this world is that cut-and-dry.

I look forward to reading your blog in the future about possible historical evidence of Jesus... I have been doing some research on my own, and hope to blog about this topic in the maybe-not-so-distant-but-not-next-week-either future!

Thanks for stopping by!

Dar said...

So where do the homosexuals, atheists, agnostics, jews, muslims and abortion doctors go after all the fundies take over S.Carolina? Will they be yanked out of their homes and forced to leave the state? Or drowned in holy water? Stoned to death in the streets?

Sounds like this group is the Saddam Hussein to Kuwait.

Kelly said...

I think we should send them all to Texas...

And what does Alburquerque have to do with the post? You know, I had the WORST Mexican food in Alburquerque. Just thought I'd mention that.

Jason Hughes said...

Dar: I think we should all move to the districts they want to "control," then they can move to Saudi Arabia which already has a working theocracy of which they'll agree on most sticking points! :D

Kelly: It's a Bugs Bunny quote, from "Looney Tunes" character. :D

Dar said...

Yikes! LIVE in SC? Just the ride through the bible belt to get there is scary. I couldn't imagine residing in the belt BUCKLE. No thanks! I will stay in the liberal, multicultural, gay-friendly north...though Myrtle Beach has great beachside camping and I will miss that.

Kelly is a riot all by herself - your office sounds like crazy fun.

Kelly said...

Our office is definately crazy, at least. :)

Bugs Bunny?! Sheesh, I must have missed that one. (Yeah, I know it's more than one, but I'm feeling less American now that I forgot a Bugs Bunny quote. Hell, I feel like less of a person. Thanks a lot, you big jerk.)


I'm more of a Daffy fan, myself.