Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Zombies and Wind and Jesus, Oh! My!

It still boggles my mind to this day that there is a persistent belief in a god(s), especially in a society where education should be a priority. (Should be because not enough people value asking “why?”, and politicians always seem to think budget cuts start in our schools…)

You see, a recent game of “Which would you rather” in the morning somehow got turned into a “Have you seen this crap!” and thus, a coworker recently pointed me to another coworker’s blog, where the heavy-handed “I’m more moral than the world” coupled with the “I’m so humble in Jesus” monologues made me want to gag, vomit, commit suicide, and drop nuke’s on every major religious center in the world—

Scratch that—it made me want to drop nukes on even the minor religious centers.

I do try my best to withhold judgment when people make off-handed comments in my general direction, like “Jesus helped me do this,” or “I know God’s watching over me because of blah blah blah”; seriously, I say nothing most times, just smile and nod like I’m one of the sheep who checked his brain at the door to life and thinks angels are dancing all around me with swords flying to keep Satan and his minions at bay from causing me to commit one type of sin or another…

Sigh…

I try to be a live-and-let-live dude, what with the mass of brain-dead zombies that inhabit even the most liberal locations of where I live. Add to the fact that most of my family, and my partner, have religious and spiritual inclinations, I’m pretty well versed in the mumbo-jumbo, the beliefs, the practices, the voodoo. So, in the name of tolerance, I will sometimes make an observation, delicately-put depending on the audience, or sometimes outright laugh, also depending on the audience…

But overall, I’m highly disappointed in you, human race…

One of the more common arguments I hear from the windbag types is, “Well, you can’t see the wind—how do you know it’s there? All you can see is the effects! So Ha!(As if such a mind-numbingly silly argument came from the lips of God hisself into their ears… Which is funny, because I’m feeling the effects of all the hot air they’re spewing when making this claim, but there it is…) If you can’t figure out why this is such a weak, silly, and all-around stupid argument, I’ll not bother to educate you. Suffice it to say, if you’ve ever considered this argument to be a firm tenant in your belief system, you have bigger problems than just believing in sky daddies and angel fairies… Suffice it to say that it hints to the notion (okay, okay, outright screams to the notion) that you somehow think wind is magical and supernatural… And I can only hope you realize how silly a position that is…

I can only hope you also realize that, when the apocalypse does come and the zombies do take over, you’ll only have to look at the closest standing religious center to find out where the infection started. (There’s a reason they hafta eat brains—their god(s) took theirs away…)

Fact of the matter is, anytime you are going to believe in something that cannot be seen, measured, tested, or even just plain logical, you may as well just do us all a favor and remove yourself from both the mating pool and the voting masses…

Knowing you exist out there really makes me think the Constitution should be amended to read “We the intelligent people…,” with a special clause regulating the rest of you to speed bump duty… Which, of course, will be unnecessary once my hover-stang is perfected. And when such a time arrives, you’ll be reassigned to coat-rack duty, assuming that global warming has been corrected by that time (and it will be, because the idiots will have been spayed and neutered and busy being coat racks…), and that sometime, somewhere, we the intelligent people will sometimes need to wear a coat due to the chilly “magical” wind…

2 comments:

Matthew Lorono said...

I also loathe behaviours in people that decide to let others tell them what to belief, and I see much ill from organized religion.

However, to take a more tolerant route, let me make a statement. We all have different experiences. Also, you well know I'm not a religious guy. But I know that even modern science is based on ancient philosophy. Science is a fairly reliable philosophy, but it is still just like any other philosophy, in that it is just another way to look at the world around us. Just because something cannot be measured does not mean it does not exist. Scientific Method can only be applied to something repeatably observable. I trust Science for what it is designed for, but always keep a critical eye on any over-extrapolation of collected data. For example, acupuncture used to be considered complete superstition in Western medicine, but serious studies have shown that the practice does have positive effects even if the underlining processes are not yet understood.

Personally, I'm not spiritually inclined because I want/need to have beliefs in unmeasurable elements. I am spiritually inclined because events in my life forced me to face the reality that there is stuff in the realm of human experience that current science just cannot address. I'm not talking about goofy coincidences or miraculous events. I'm talking in-your-face stuff that I could not ignore, no matter how much I wanted to rationalize them. My experience as taken me down the middle road. I don't believe in gods, but I also don't believe there's nothing at all. In fact, I try to not have any beliefs at all, though that is difficult as one weights observable/repeatable facts with one's own experiences.

SnowFrog said...

Great Post!!!