Hmm...
I know, I know, I know...You're all "Where has he been? What's going on? I'm lost without him!!! And--does that mean he's traveling what he just said up there? Boston? Idaho? What the fuck???"
Okay, perhaps you're not lost. After all, we live in a world of TomTom's, google navigator's, and mapquests. Who the fuck gets lost these days?
Well, besides complete noodle heads...
No, you see, I was tending to my dying dog, Hawthorne. For some weeks now, he had been battling kidney and liver failure, and no amount of medicines and treatments were making his old thirteen-year-old body respond. Needless to say, besides being an emotional wreck, the apartment itself became a bit of one. It's not pretty when your old dog begins to lose control of his... "movements." But as he had been my constant and faithful companion for thirteen years, there was no way I was going to be punishing him for something he couldn't control, you know?
I know you know...
It's been hard. Trying. Difficult. Death always is. Death kind of sucks that way. It tends to leave the living behind, filled with memories, emotions, feelings, thoughts, regrets...
A whole jumbly-wumbly mess of humanity staring at what used to be another living being--a friends, a relative, a pet--whatever or whoever it was, we the living must cope with ourselves and others who survive at the time, deal with both those who are trying to be helpful and consoling as well as those who think death is an opportune time to... Well, let's just say "assholes" and leave it at that, shall we? No, one step further--death, for the record, is not...
Not!
NOT
--the time to be telling me about your gods, your beliefs, your whatever fuzzy-warm thing gets you through the night... It may be consoling to YOU, but you should know it is NOT consoling to me (if you do, indeed, KNOW me...) and all it makes me want to do is take note to avoid you in the future...
I should clarify, however, that I do not take offense to "Now he's with my dog in doggie heaven" and whatnot... That's fine. I don't believe it, but that's neither here nor there. What I *am* offended by is, "Maybe this is making you think about your own immortal soul and where you might be headed? Hmm?"
I told them to go there. It made me feel better. Feel free to judge me on that point. :)
Irregardless (which, as an annoying little fact most people don't know, isn't actually a proper word as "regardless" means the exact same thing, has less syllables, and is a bit less confusing for those who tend to dissect every little nuance sputtered through the lips of others), in the midst of crying like a baby, I managed to throw together a little "In Memorial" video of my Hawthorne, which I share with you below (although I dare say most of you have seen it on facebook, as not too many of my readers are NOT on facebook) so feel free not to hit "Play" again if you don't feel like having tears spill all over your keyboard again...
Speaking of annoying little facts, it boggles my brain that more people don't run around sharing annoying little facts. I realize that being half-nerd means I'm prone to these types of things--Jeopardy-isms if you will--but stuff I find, in my own mind, to be common knowledge usually isn't, and is usually accompanied by a strange look or a shrug of the shoulders or a nervous giggle... What's that about? Don't you want to know useless bits of trivia? Don't stupid facts of non-everyday life intrigue your brain? Tickle the neurons?
Hmm...
Oh well... That was slightly off-topic, but my mind has been scattered more than usual lately (and I hope, understandably), and sometimes I feel like shouting "Squirrel!" every time I realize it... It doesn't help, but it makes the awkward looks a bit more amusing...
Anyway, my tribute to my friend:
Until next time, fellow lifer...
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