Falling...

Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife...

And you think you've found the knife...

And it isn't the butter knife, or the carving knife, or the fillet knife, but the steak knife...

And your heart is the steak...

(Granted, this probably isn't a post for vegans...)

But the feeling is there...

And all that can go through your head is, "I'm usually so rational, so reasoned, so analytical..."

But there it is...

and you can't not take that chance and run with it. Because it feels right, and it seems right, and you were so alone and so miserable for so long that if you don't jump at the chance, you will regret it, and you know it will be a mistake if you don't...

And you can't really explain it, because it doesn't make sense in a logical, rational way...

And your friends and your family, wanting to hope for the best for you, but also not wanting you to dive off a cliff only to realize no one put up the net? You see that concern and you see that love, and you love them for it...

But you have to go for it...

I spent so many years waiting for someone else, so many years waiting, hoping, trying to help and...

And then you had to leave...

And your heart broke all over again because you knew it was final, it was the end, and you thought, "Well, it's just not meant to be..."

And it may be a rebound, but you're pretty sure it isn't, but feelings are fickle things, and your mind reels and your heart sputters and your feet tap in nervous happiness, and the potential and hope for beautiful, wonderful things is there and the faith you thought you lost is there again, and it's screaming at you, "YES! YES! You need to do this! You need to be there, you need to make this happen!"...

I'm falling...

I'm 99% sure I'll be caught...

But again, it is falling...

And it's scary and nerve-wracking and emotionally raw and very new and exciting and...

And there it is...

Falling...

and enjoying it...

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Anne Shirley: Good morning, Mrs. Harris.
Mrs. Harris: Walking as if we owned the world, are we?
Anne Shirley: So I do.

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Anne Shirley: I feel as though someone's handed me the moon... and I don't exactly know what to do with it.

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