Reflections on the City...New York City, that is...

Having traveled for just over twenty-four hours to Manhattan for a brief glimpse into what makes the Tribeca Film Festival a festival, I can easily say without a shadow of a doubt I am a country mouse.

Not that visiting the city is bad, dear reader, don't get me wrong! We had a glorious time walking the city, seeing the sites, riding the subway, eating, laughing, talking and drinking with friends new and old--but it was just enough, you know? I defer to my friends when in the city (sometimes to my own chagrin--can you say "Pink Berries"? Yech!) especially as they have been there more, seen what's good and what isn't ("Yech!" goes double for a strange concoction called "bubble tea"... Puh-blah!) and generally know their way around, and they almost never disappoint. Whether it was the Staten Island Ferry, Grand Central, the Strand, chicken on a stick... The list of things to do, see, smell, taste, touch, hear...

Except crickets. Frogs. Birds. The wind in the grass... Being in New York was... Well, it was like trying to roller derby through a herd of 250 million water buffalo all going in different directions... Slightly less hairy, slightly more dirty, but just as difficult to get used to. My friend Scott claims that unless you've lived there for more than two years, you will hate it--it's just a given, but it will grow on you. If you ask me, that's like saying the city grows on you like cancer, but that's just me I suppose.

As I sit now in my own home, having showered the grime and dust of the New York City streets from my body and mind, I listen to the wind chimes on my front porch, a slight breeze coming through the screen door, crickets singing a serenade to the stars and bats pirouetting after their prey, I can't help but to appreciate the lack of people; the absence of noise and sirens; the lack of light shining from roof tops and bridges.

But it was nice to visit. In another year, I may get the urge again! And, of course, if Scott does move there permanently, it may have to be slightly more often--after all, he's well on his way to being a great film and television writer. But until I have to once again traverse those streets and enter the bowels of the earth to ride the metal snake, I think I'll just sit here in my small slice of country side and enjoy...

All part and parcel of being a country mouse...

The Bonuses of Life...

Dear reader, I'm ecstatic! Granted, Rich would be the first one to tell you this is all too easy an emotion to elicit from me...

I've recently joined freecycle--you may have heard of it? Communities in local geographic areas join an email list, and whenever someone has something they want to get rid of--they spam everyone on the list! Brilliant! And over the last few weeks, spammed I've been, mostly with offers for baby clothing and such, but being spring time...

Yes, offers for dirt. Honestly, dirt is the first thing I've gotten from freecycle. (Go figure...) Being that freecycle has come with its fair share of vultures, it's rather hard to get anything for free, especially on freecycle. (Again, imagine that...) But be that as it may, one of my philosophies in life has almost always been "If it's free, I'll take two!" So when I was spammed with free dirt, well I simply hijacked my father's relaxing Sunday afternoon (as well as his truck) and before we knew it, we had unloaded a pick-up full of dirt into a rather rocky / sandy / jungly / stumpy / poison ivy area of the yard.

At this point, I was satisfied. Not ecstatic, but satisfied.

And then Monday came. An offer of thirteen bags of dirt in Lansford. After work, I hijacked Rich (and his car) and off we went to the hopping metropolis of Lansford (population 2) and grabbed the dirt. In the rain. In the dark. (Did I mention how thrilled Rich was with my newly found dirt-o-matic sniffer?) We made quick work of dumping this dirt on top of the old dirt and called it an evening.

Today, I go out with a rake to level out some of the dirt, remove some of the rocks, and...

Is that...? I dig a bit, shuffle some stuff...

It is!! Hosta's! A shitload of hostas! A smattering of daffodils, a little bit of snow on the mountain...

But hostas!! Bonus!!!! NOW I was ecstatic... Hosta heaven, freecycled into my yard with the dirt... (Oh, have I mentioned how Richard told me just two weeks ago he didn't understand my love of hosta's? He thinks they look "weedy"...)

I just spent the last few hours re-"weeding" my flower beds....

Simply ecstatic about the bonuses of life...

Where Time Stand Still...

Don't get the wrong idea, dear reader... Time standing still isn't anything that happens around here--in fact, time flies just a bit too quickly for this country boy wanna-be. Has it really been that long since my last post? So many things have drifted through my mind the last few days (okay, okay, weeks!), the least of which is "Why does a giant hafta have a companion ox who's not only named Babe but has to be blue?" Such are the drifting ruminations when the mind has time to wander. Included among these were passing glimpses into the strange mind of Jason that I felt needed to written about (although the time to do so never seemed to materialize) are

• Who decided "clockwise" was the correct direction for things to spin?
• Doesn't Tony Perkins ever get tired of lying about the so-called "gay agenda"? (I'm assuming he must not be a fan of top ten lists...)
• Why must you say every single M. Night Shyamalan movie title in a Haley Joel Osment whisper?
• Why would anyone--anyone--think that stretch pants look good on them?

Hmm... Perhaps some of these things are best left unexplored, yeah?

So, as I'm enjoying the first beautiful Saturday of the spring building the brick pathway on the right (the left hopefully to be done on the next beautiful spring Saturday...) contemplating the fact that on Friday we laid off four workers due to losing our second-biggest client on Monday, the bane of my existence (aka Luthor from across the street) decides he's going to yap my ear off for three hours... THREE MISERABLE HOURS!!! I'm all for lonely old men getting out of their homes every now and then to see what they're missing in life, but not on my time... But I deal with it, grunt an acknowledgement of his existence on this planet every now and again as I saw timber, lay sand and brick, measure distances and do higher math (aka anything more than two plus two...) to get things right and accurate until...

---

Man: Hi there!
Luthor: I'll see you later Jason. I haven't had breakfast yet.
Me: But it's 1:30 in the afternoon! What--? Oh...
Man: Is that your grandfather? I'd like to speak to him as well.
Me: No, and if you do find out we're related somehow, pull the plug. Who're you?
Man: Hi, I'm Stan, and I'm a member of the church just up the street, you may have heard of us? Din--
Me: Hi, Stan. Say, listen, can I ask you something?
Stan: Uh... Sure?
Me: Do people walk up to you when you're dirty, laying a brick sidewalk, listening to old men yammer endlessly?
Stan: Uh--
Me: Do I come knocking on your door to tell you the wonderful time my life is because I enter a building once a week?
Stan: I, uh....
Me: Do I look like I'm in any position to quit where I am on this project just so you can ask me if I've found the love of Jesus or some such other nonsense?
Stan: (extremely distressed look) Well, I...
Me: Fine, you don't waste my time, I won't waste any more of yours. Have a nice day.
Stan: But--
Me: I said have a nice day, Stan, now please go on about your business while not being on my property, okay?

---

Yes, I'm sure I took away his happy thought. In fact, I guarantee it! While I did happen to appreciate the irony of the bane of my existence being scared off by the less annoying bane of existence, really--would you walk up to someone who looked very busy, annoyed as hell at his "grandfather" (shudder shudder) while he's holding bricks, and expect him to listen to your spiel about fairy godfathers and such?

Hmm... Well, maybe you would. But I'm sick of wasting my happy garden time for yappy neighbors and holy rollers (believe it or not, Luthor's term!!). Luthor, of course, later came back to tell me that he was actually a "very nice" holy roller "for a Lutheran," but apparently didn't know "we were Baptists."

While my "baptist" status in the neighborhood came as a bit of a shock ("Who is 'we'?" I asked. "You know, real Christians, not these holy rollers!" was his reply), I asked how it was possible a man named Luthor wasn't a Lutheran? (He didn't get it--84 and addle brained!!) Thankfully, his "breakfast" was on the stove and he needed to get back. He just wanted me to know how nice the young man was...

Yeah I thought, he and his big blue ox...

At least the right half got done... Something tells me it'll be a while before I get around to the left, especially if the rest of this year follows today's pattern...

A Turning of the Tide? orThe Calm Before the Storm?

In just the last two weeks, the number of states with legal same-sex marriage has doubled. (I'm still not sure if that's sad or amazing.) The first was Iowa which, just last week, ruled that denying marriage to same-sex couples was unconstitutional. I think I speak for most East Coasters when I say I almost fell off my chair... Iowa? Seriously? A mid-west state has just legalized same-sex marriage? Let's face it, the mid-west bread-basket portion of our country gets the short end of the stick when it comes to social policy. Not only has the so-called "Family Research Council" been in over-drive, slamming my in-box full of emails exhorting me to "speak up" for marriage since it's "in the cross hairs" (because everyone knows you ruin more marriages with gays than guns...). But even after I got up off the floor and back into my office chair, it seemed just moments later when the legislators of Vermont voted to override their governor's veto and pass a bill for same-sex marriage (I'm sure we all feel bad for Tony Perkin's not being able to use the "activist judges" phrase in this case...)

When I pried my head out from the ceiling tiles and dropped back down to the floor, it hit me fully: Two states in less than seven days! Then another email came in: Washington D.C. had voted to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states...

The nation's capitol city... Will recognize same-sex marriages...

I do believe I passed out...

There are now four states in which same sex marriage is currently legal (five states in which same-sex marriages have been performed--I think at this point California can suck it!): Connecticut, Vermont, Massachusetts, and Iowa. There are now four more states considering bills to legalize same-sex marriage: New Hampshire, Maine, New York and New Jersey. There are even more states (and districts [D.C.]) that will recognize those relationships even if they won't perform those marriages: Rhode Island, New York, and New Mexico!

I'm still flabbergasted that the East Coast is demolishing the West Coast in terms of equality--not to mention Iowa representing for the bread basket! (What is UP with THAT?!) And when you look at the world view? Sweden just became the fifth European nation to allow same-sex marriage, following the Netherlands, Norway, Belgium and Spain! And who could forget our neighbor to the north Canada! Add South Africa and Nepal--the tide does seem to be turning indeed!

But then I read Ryan's Blog where he talked about gays in Iraq. After some research I found the following map (clicking on map will open it in a larger window...):


Homosexuality legal

██ Same-sex marriage recognized

██ Other type of partnership (or unregistered cohabitation) recognized

██ No recognition of same-sex couples

██ Foreign same-sex marriages recognized

Homosexuality illegal

██ Minimal penalty

██ Large penalty

██ Life in prison

██ Death penalty

Does anyone notice anything disturbing? Places where religion have a stronghold on a nation's laws and policies have a very disturbing record when it comes to equal rights for same-sex couples... Conservative Christians in the United States, Fundamentalist Muslims in the Middle East, the combination of both in various parts of Africa, not to mention the socialist and communist areas of the map--more and more the "defenders" of "traditional marriage" are seen side-by-side with very strange bed fellows! Russia, China, Islamic countries, and the conservative Christians of the United States united together in preventing same-sex couples from entering into life-long, committed relationships so that they can care for one another in the same way heterosexual couples take for granted--truly a "godly plan" if I ever saw one... It's quite scary that the only difference between the fundies over here and the fundies over there is that I can no longer be put to death simply for existing... Sparse comfort, but comfort nonetheless I suppose...

But I remain hopeful (if only because the "depths of despair" isn't nearly as cozy as the highs of anticipation...). I can't help but to believe in my fellow human beings, for I truly believe that everyone, even when they make the greatest mistakes and commit the most awful atrocities, are almost always sincerely trying to do the right thing, no matter how misguided or mistaken.I can't help but think that the ignorant fear and misguided "defenders" will realize the error futility mistakes they are making with their current decision-making processes. As if what two consenting adults do with one another is more important than the millions starving around the world. As if two penis's in one bedroom were more important than thousands dying from inadequate health care.

I can't help but to believe that, in the end, before I breathe my last breath, before I leave this Earth for eternity, I will be able to declare my love in front of my friends and loved ones, to be able to care for him as he grows older, to not have to worry that our dying days will be filled with angst and worry over money instead of spending our last days sharing in one another's company, cherishing our time, sharing our love...

Dear America--dear world!--I have faith that eventually, you will all realize what a mistake you have made in fighting against equality. That you will come to terms with your irrational fears and conquer them with the reason you possess. That you will finally recognize your fellow man and woman for the individuals they are--just like you, with the same hopes and dreams you have, with the same expectations from life, family, and friends you have. To be loved, accepted, deserving of respect, and treated equally in the eyes of the law and in the depths of the heart.

I have faith in you, my fellow human being--can't you have the same in me?

---

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Sources for this post:

• Chicago Tribune
• National Public Radio
• Wikipedia

Keeping My Own Company...

I've always thought that if one cannot enjoy their own company and pay attention to one's self, one can never be good company for anyone else...

Today my hubbie returns from Maryland where he was with his family as my sis-in-law has some surgical procedures (I couldn't go due to having had my own surgical procedures and thus, no time to take off from work...), me and the puppy have been spending some quality time.

Okay, scratch that--Hawthorne has been Dopey, Mopey, and... something else -opey, pining for the half of his human pack that will actually play endless fetch while I've been watching season two of Doctor Who. But mostly I've been relishing the quietness--the hum of the refrigerator every now and then, the ticking of the clock, the occasional bloop! from the fish tank. It isn't often I get three days in a row to sit with my contemplations, ruminating about whatever I please, googling cheese-making just for shits and giggles, and wondering what would happen if you were to lock a fundamentalist Christian in a room with a radical Muslim with the understanding that neither could leave until one or the other had converted--would there ever be a need to unlock that door to let them out? (I don't think so either...)

I've also been using my oodles of free time to read, a favorite past time of mine I haven't had the energy or time to indulge in... well, I'm not sure "years" is an understatement. I've missed reading getting lost in the worlds and lands of another writer's mind, diving headfirst into an alternate reality and losing sight of time and space as you meld your mind into those turning pages... But even more so, I've missed how it makes me think, what it stirs in my mind, how it creates a burst of neurological fire and sifts through inklings and ideas long since stored, covered in dust. Sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? Doesn't it?

Reading during my teenage years was an escape--from Tom's heavy metal music, Mike's yelling, Sylvia and Cynthia's arguing (and alternate laughing spasms...). I learned the unique trick of being able to drown out even the most loud and obnoxious of noises when involved in such endeavors as reading and studying (much to hubbie's occasional annoyance). But I digress.

In all that reading (while insulating myself from the world around me), fiction and non-fiction, fantasy, biography, religion, science, horror, mystery, and anything else I could get my hands on, this is when seeds were planted. I wouldn't realize it until much later, of course, but when I started attending a certain bible-based institution, the seeds of the many conflicting ideas and philosophies and world views all came to fruition against the wall of conservative, fundamentalist ideology--and shattered my world.

Of course, I haven't really gotten a damn thing accomplished in the "real" world--dishes have piled up (Perk #1 of being single for three days: No running out of silverware or dishes!), laundry sits on the floor where I have dropped them (Perk #2: No one trips over your jeans when you leave them in the hallway overnight and bitches about it!), and no one interrupting at a climactic moment in the plot with an inane question, like "What did you say last night around 10:30 last night?" (Perk #3: I can forget about 10:30 pm last night).

But more than Hawthie has missed him, and while I do value alone time, sometimes it's better to be alone together, you know? Enjoy a companionable silence, laughing together at the same movie, conversing the pros and cons of whatever happens to be problematic. I miss shoving my feet under him on the couch when they get cold; the way he hums and sings when making dinner (or makes fun of mine when I cook dinner); arguing over who has more blankets; walking around the yard yapping with the neighbors; and a plethora of other things...

Having always been so solitary a creature, it's wondrously odd what love can do to change a person. If you would have asked me ten years ago if I would miss someone after only three days, I would have laughed. And perhaps "miss" is too strong a word...

But it will be nice having my companion back, if only so once again we can steal the covers from one another at night...

And laugh about it in the morning...

Together...

Awkwardness....

Even the word looks a bit off, doesn't it?

I'm supposed to take a woman who has been doing this job for over 25 years in the green thing industry and make her "faster."

I've been with this company for seven years, doing this job for three, have been told repeatedly that I am the fastest and most profitable AT this job (not to brag, just stating what I've been told), and am supposed to take my "fastness" and impart this wisdom of speed and profitability onto her...

Awkwardness...

I've always been the fastest at ANY position I've held. I'm a fast learner, I take shortcuts when necessary, and when I get bored, I tend to be a very BAD employee--which is why I like this job--there isn't much time for boredom, hence, I'm almost always the good guy...

But I've never been told to take old dogs and teach them new tricks like this before...

Adding to the awkwardness is it's pretty well-known that I don't like this person. I've never been a fan of people who are bad at their jobs, know that they're bad at their jobs, yet keeping making excuses for why they are bad at their jobs. I find it pitiful and repugnant to continually punish your fellow coworkers for your incompetence! But that could just be me...

Let the punishment begin...