Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Why We Don't Call Him Dr. God...

Notwithstanding the creation of a being created self-aware (hello Adam and Steve!) and then told quite explicitly were they to avoid learning in any way, shape or form by eating of a fruit laden with knowledge (makes eating a Flintstone's vitamin every morning seem rather empty and unfulfilling, doesn't it?), it continually boggles my mind how many people believe in a literal creation account as written in Genesis. Boggles my frickin' mind...

Regardless, it comes to mind that we (both the believers and the heathens) must ponder briefly, how intelligent is this supposed being that a great portion of our population looks to for answers? I mean, if 70 to 90% of the American population believes in and looks to this being for guidance, shouldn't there be some type of "No God Left Behind" system in place to make sure he knows what he's doing? Keeping up with his own education? Working to improve himself as well as the lives of those around, or (as the case may be), beneath, and above him?

There's a reason we don't call him Dr. God, and it isn't because Oprah won't give him a daytime TV slot. Let's look at some of his accomplishments and see if he's really deserving of all this praise and hoopla, shall we?

1. He had only one major publication. (... unless your a member of the Mormon church...)

2. Some doubt he even wrote it himself. (How many authors again?)

3. It was in Hebrew and Greek. (Continuity not his strong suit...)

4. It had no references. (... except itself...)

5. It wasn't published in a respectable, referenced journal. (Not even in part...)

6. It may be true that he created the world (and then dedicated his whole book to it), but what has he done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. (If it can be said he cooperated with anyone at all, except with Satan on poor Job...)

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. (Mainly due to the fact that he doesn't say how he did it, and he did most of it without witnesses, notes, or a controlled environment...)

9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects. (Probably his largest oversight to date.)

10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. (And then wrote about it, as if proud of his sado-masochistic tendencies...)

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. (Because smiting solves everything...)

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book (and none of them could agree on what they were reading, or what it meant...)

13. Some say he had his son teach the class. (And he graduated from what university again?)

14. He expelled his first two students for learning. (Marvelous teaching skills when he chose to show up for class...)

15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. (Usually the sign of a bad teacher...)

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top. (Poor Moses...)

17. No record of working well with colleagues. (Some say he killed all of them, too!)

18. He's exhibits signs of a multiple personality disorder. (One god, yet three, eh? Someone isn't taking their meds...)

19. It is a well-documented fact that he abused his kid. (And again, seemed quite proud of it...)

20. He has a god-complex. (Probably caused by his father not hugging him enough as a child...)

Need we say more? If this were the leader of any nation in the world, let alone the teacher of the fifth grade at your local school, he'd have been strung up and quartered just for number 15 alone! But added up all together?

There's a reason we don't call him Dr. God... At least twenty of them...

How many can you think of, dear reader?

3 comments:

mom said...

hello jason! you know whenever i read stuff like this i always say i am not going to respond but than i get my self all balled up and have let it out! if i had some time i would respond to it all but the one thing that really gets to me is #19. when i read the Bible i DO NOT see God abusing His Son because His Son went to the cross on His own! like anything you either believe it or not and you have your freedom to do this. God gave you that freedom. God does not make anyone come to Him. He loves us all. believers and heathens alike. i will not say i understand all of Gods ways but i cannot look at anything and not see His hand in things. He is my God and i will praise Him and trust Him in all. God never left me down like people do and that alone is reason enough to trust Him. find me one person that can love the way He does and can make things like He can and maybe i will put my faith in that person. #6 is another one i don't like much since everyday i get up is wonderful and i know i can expect some new glories for Him to make His love known to me. when you can see how good we have it and than when something does happen we do not count on you are given blessings when you NEED it at that RIGHT time. if you always had sunshine you would not appreciate it unless you have it taken away. everyday we can get up and go on is a miracle! and if you still your self long enough to listen you can count on some more insights! #7 is another one that you are not telling the whole story. you have the things that job had to put up with and see how you respond. not once did he curse God for it all. yes, he did get upset but he still put his faith in action with it all. most people start cursing God at the first bad thing that happens that isn't near what job had happened to him. God knew He can count on job to show satan that His followers can be His faithful servant in anything. all this is up for people either to actually let God do His work in us or to not believe God at all. again its our freedom to choose. i will hope and pray one person that comes across this blog will seek out what God is all about and not let peoples opinions rule them. i still say all this not believing stuff you write God will just use for His glory anyway. well, thats all i can say right now since i have stuff i got to get started. jason, i do pray for you and know one day you will think different about God but untill than love and prayers! :)

Jason Hughes said...

Mom, sometimes you take stuff way to seriously...

That was some funny shit! Well, to each their own... Hugs!

mom said...

hello jason! you know whenever i read stuff like this i always say i am not going to respond but than i get my self all balled up and have let it out! if i had some time i would respond to it all but the one thing that really gets to me is #19. when i read the Bible i DO NOT see God abusing His Son because His Son went to the cross on His own! like anything you either believe it or not and you have your freedom to do this. God gave you that freedom. God does not make anyone come to Him. He loves us all. believers and heathens alike. i will not say i understand all of Gods ways but i cannot look at anything and not see His hand in things. He is my God and i will praise Him and trust Him in all. God never left me down like people do and that alone is reason enough to trust Him. find me one person that can love the way He does and can make things like He can and maybe i will put my faith in that person. #6 is another one i don't like much since everyday i get up is wonderful and i know i can expect some new glories for Him to make His love known to me. when you can see how good we have it and than when something does happen we do not count on you are given blessings when you NEED it at that RIGHT time. if you always had sunshine you would not appreciate it unless you have it taken away. everyday we can get up and go on is a miracle! and if you still your self long enough to listen you can count on some more insights! #7 is another one that you are not telling the whole story. you have the things that job had to put up with and see how you respond. not once did he curse God for it all. yes, he did get upset but he still put his faith in action with it all. most people start cursing God at the first bad thing that happens that isn't near what job had happened to him. God knew He can count on job to show satan that His followers can be His faithful servant in anything. all this is up for people either to actually let God do His work in us or to not believe God at all. again its our freedom to choose. i will hope and pray one person that comes across this blog will seek out what God is all about and not let peoples opinions rule them. i still say all this not believing stuff you write God will just use for His glory anyway. well, thats all i can say right now since i have stuff i got to get started. jason, i do pray for you and know one day you will think different about God but untill than love and prayers! :)