Friday, November 3, 2006

There Once Was a Man from Nantucket...

Okay, well actually, he was from Colorado. And it wasn't his, um, Mr. Hoo-Hoo that he was worried about sucking, now, was it? Of course, not wishing to even perhaps slightly appear gay, he became the pastor of a mega-church, married a woman, and then proceeded not only to verbally bash those of whom he truly desired to be with, Ted Haggard actively lobbied for a constitutional amendment...

It's sad to see the lengths people will go to just to hide who they really are, isn't it? Of course, being the "man of god" that he is, he's denying the sex part, alluding only to the "massage" that had been "recommended" by a hotel concierge he had stayed at in Denver...

Yeah, that's it, a "massage." (CODE: sex.) Of course, not wanting to admit to being, at the very least "bi-curious," he claims to have been "meth-curious," (CODE: Anything to make my first time a good one!) because, as we all know, being tempted by drugs, and being tempted by gay sex, are two very different, distinct, and very uneven taboos in the right-wing culture. Plus--good news, all you naive fundies--he didn't even try the meth!! That's right, he just used his children's college funds to buy it, stare at it, and then flush it down the toilet "because it was wrong." Of course, I am always tempted to spend hundreds of dollars on something I've claimed to never have tried. And I always ask the people "massaging" me where I can get it... You mean, you're not that close to your masseusse? I thought everyone was? Oh, well, anyway, what are we left with? Oh, yes, a "massage" and a "curiosity" about meth that we simply threw away, but...

(Photo courtesy of Ms. Betty Bowers)

We still felt the need to step down from our job? Hmm... Anyone else seeing that 1 + 1 ain't equaling 2? Or is it just me?

Now, don't get me completely wrong here. Men and women make mistakes. Men and women "experiment" and then make a choice. But a few things here:
  1. The man was a pastor dedicated to making sure homosexual persons did not receive equal treatment under the law
  2. The man is now lying, going against one of his own top ten
  3. He is, in essence, making a decision in his mind that admitting to buying the drugs is a "lesser evil" than even the thought of being tempted by "man sex." I(So sin isn't sin isn't sin)
  4. His wife is being made a fool of on national television.
No, granted, we've all been down this road with Clinton. What was it? Oh, yes:

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
Eventually, he owned up, apologized, then the Republicans had a field day making a mockery of his marriage, claiming that, as the "values voters" representatives, they would flush out such "corruption" from the system...

So, how have they done? From Republican Moral Values (you can follow their links to see the full stories to verify that these are all facts that you so-called "values voters" put into office and pray and give your money to and tout as the end-all be-all of morality):
  1. Adelphia Communications Corp.: Donated large sums of money to some of the most conservative members of Congress. They are also the first cable company to offer hard-core adult movies to subscribers. Daily Kos article
  2. Edison Misla Aldarondo, Republican legislator from Puerto Rico, was sentenced to 13 years in prison for molestation of his daughter and her friend for eight-year period starting when they were 9.
  3. Randal David Ankeney, Republican activist from Colorado, arrested on suspicion of sexual assault on a child with force. He faces 6 charges related to getting a 13-year-old girl stoned on pot and then having sex with her. Source Also accused of sexually assaulting another girl. Denver ABC Article
  4. Dick Armey (R-Texas), former professor, has been accused by The Dallas Observer of sexually harassing female students.
  5. Jim Bakker, televangelist with Pat Robertson at Robertson's Christian Broadcasting network. Committed adultery with Jessica Hahn and then used charitable donations to pay her hush money. Fellow televangelists say he's gay. Indicted on 23 federal charges of fraud, tax evasion, and racketeering.
  6. Merrill Robert Barter, Republican County Commissioner from Maine, pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy. Booth Bay Register Article
  7. Bob Barr, Republican Congressman from Georgia. Sponsored the anti-gay Defense of Marriage Act, saying "The flames of hedonism, the flames of narcissism, the flames of self-centered morality are licking at the very foundation of our society, the family unit." Was married three times. Paid for his second wife's abortion. Failed to pay child support to the children of his first two wives and while married to his third and present wife was photographed licking whipped cream off of strippers at his inaugural party.
  8. Merrill Robert Barter, Republican County Commissioner, pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy. Booth Bay Register Article
  9. Robert Bauman, Republican congressman and anti-gay activist from Maryland, was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar. Source: Washington Blade
  10. Parker J. Bena, Republican activist and Bush Elector from Virginia, pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography (including children as young as 3 years old) on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
  11. William Bennett, Drug Czar under George H. W. Bush, compulsive gambler who has had to wire as much as $1.4 million to cover gambling losses in a 2 month period. NY Press Article | Washington Monthly Article
  12. Louis Beres, chairman of the Christian Coalition of Oregon. 3 of his family members accuse him of molesting them when they were pre-teens. Editor and Publisher article
  13. Howard L. Brooks, Republican legislative aide and advisor to a California assemblyman, was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography. Sacramento Bee article
  14. John Bolton: George W. Bush's latest Ambassador to United Nations. Corroborated allegations that Mr. Bolton's first wife, Christina Bolton, was forced to engage in group sex have not been refuted by the State Department. Raw Story Article
  15. Mike Bowers Former State Attorney General of Georgia, prosecuted the famous "Bowers vs. Hardwick" case, based on Georgia anti-sodomy laws. Admitted to a 10-year adulterous affair Slate article
  16. Andrew Buhr, Republican politician, former committeeman for Hadley Township Missouri, was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.
  17. Jeffrey Buley, New York Republican Party's top lawyer, and senior political adviser to Gov. Pataki (R), arrested for assaulting his wife in a drunken rage. They have two young children.
  18. Ted Bundy campaigned for the Republican Party. Infamous serial rapist who murdered 16 women. Source: BBC
  19. Jim Bunn Congressman of Oregon: With his success due in great part to support from the Christian Coalition, Bunn won his congressional seat, then immediately ditched his wife (and mother of his five children), married a staffer, and put his new wife on the state payroll for the unheard-of salary of $97,500.
  20. John Allen Burt, Republican anti-abortion activist from Pensacola, Florida, convicted of sexually molesting a 15 year old girl at the home for troubled girls that he ran. Source: Pensacola News Journal
  21. Dan Burton, Republican Congressman from Indiana who, while married, fathered a child by another woman. Salon.com Article
  22. George W. Bush, Republican president, accused in a criminal complaint and lawsuit of raping Margie Schoedinger, who was later suicided. Accused by Tammy Phillips, a former stripper quoted in the National Enquirer in 2000 saying she had an affair with Bush that had ended in 1999.
  23. Neil Bush, brother or G. W. Bush, in a March 2003 divorce deposition, admitted repeatedly having sex with strange women who just showed up at his room while on an Asian business trip. (Overshadowing the sex scandal; the business scandal--see link.) Washington Post article.
  24. John Butler, Republican activist, was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.
  25. Ken Calvert, Congressman (R-Ca), champion of the Christian Coalition and its "family values." Sued as an alimony deadbeat by his ex-wife. Said "We can't forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky." In 1993 he was caught by police receiving oral sex from a prostitute and attempted to flee the scene.
  26. Charles Canady, Congressman (R-Florida), Judiciary Committee member. Lied to his constituents about his adulterous affair with Sharon Becker, which caused her divorce.
  27. Helen Chenoweth, Congresswoman (R-Id.). Admitted to a six-year adulterous affair with a married associate. In 1995, Chenoweth had denied the affair when asked about it by The Spokane Spokesman-Review, but now she claims a pardon from a higher authority: "I've asked for God's forgiveness, and I've received it," she revealed.
  28. Keola Childs, Republican County Councilman from Hawaii, pleaded guilty to sexual assault in the first degree for molesting a male child.Honolulu Star-Bulletin Article
  29. Kevin Coan, Republican St. Louis Election Board official, arrested and charged with trying to buy sex from a 14-year-old girl whom he met on the Internet. Source: Newmax
  30. Roy Cohn, continually condemned gays and gay rights. Was a closet gay who died of AIDS. Wikipedia Article
  31. Carey Lee Cramer Political consultant and anti-Kerry ad producer, tried for molesting two young girls, one of whom lived with him, and was 8 yrs old; the other starred in an anti-Kerry commercial. Diary Diary. The Monitor.
  32. Dan Crane, Republican Congressman from Illinois, married, father of six. Had sex with a minor working as a congressional page. Salon.com article --Bkmeyers 08:36, 3 October 2006 (PDT)On July 14, 1983 the House Ethics Committee concluded that Rep. Dan Crane (R-Ill.) had engaged in sexual relationships with minors, specifically 17-year-old congressional pages. In Crane's case, it was a 1980 relationship with a female page. wikipedia.org article
  33. Paul Crouch Televangelist, Former President of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). Paid $425,000 in hush money in an attempt to cover up a gay affair. Christianity Today article
  34. Randy Cunningham: Federal prosecutors are investigating allegations that Congressman and confessed-felon 'Duke' Cunningham was periodically supplied with prositutes. Cunningham pled guilty to corruption charges, and is currently serving jail-time.
  35. Richard A. Dasen Sr., Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, convicted of sexual abuse of children, promotion of prostitution and several counts of solicitation, enough to add up to a sentence of 126 years in prison. Investigators estimated that he spent up to $5,000,000 on prostitutes. Missoulian Article on the trial | Missoulian Article
  36. Richard A. Delgaudio, Republican fundraiser and Bush pioneer, was found guilty of child porn charges. WBAL Channel article
  37. Peter Dibble, Republican legislator from Connecticut pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl. News Channel 8 Article
  38. Brian J. Doyle, Deputy Press Secretary for U.S. Department of Homeland Security. On March 12, 2006, Doyle contacted a 14-year-old girl whose profile was posted on the Internet, and initiated a sexually explicit conversation with her. The girl was actually an undercover Polk County Sheriff s Computer Crimes detective. Doyle knew that the girl was 14 years old, and he told her who he was and that he worked for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. During future online chats, Doyle gave the undercover detective posing as a 14-year-old girl his office phone number and his government-issued cell phone number, so that they could have telephone conversations, in addition to their online chatting. Doyle used the Internet to send hard-core pornographic movie clips to the girl and used the AOL Instant Messenger chat service to have explicit sexual conversations with her.
  39. Nicholas Elizondo, Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison. Halfway down this Bakersfield Californian article
  40. Larry Dale Floyd, Republican Constable in Denton County, Texas Precinct Two. Arrested for allegedly crossing state lines to have sex with an 8-year old child and was charged with 7 related offenses. Age 62 at time of arrest. Dallas News Article | Atrios Article
  41. John Fund, of the Wall Street Journal, a prominent anti-abortion columnist and GOP fund raiser. He lost his position after it was revealed that he impregnated the daughter of an old girlfriend and then encouraged her to abort his child. American Politics Journal Article
  42. Jeff Gannon Partisan blogger with no journalism credentials and a fake name who got invited to Bush's Press conferences. Is also a pimp and a gay prostitute. Truthout Article. See also dKospedia's page on Jeff Gannon.
  43. Jack W. Gardner, Republican Councilman from Pennsylvania, had been convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl. When the Republican Party, knowing of these crimes, put him on the ballot. Article with documents
  44. Richard Gardner, a Nevada State Representative (R), admitted to molesting his two daughters. Review Journal Article
  45. Newt Gingrich, Republican from Georgia, married three times. Gingrich campaign worker Anne Manning admitted that she gave Newt oral sex while he was still married to his first wife. Informed one wife he was filing for divorce while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer treatments. Salon Article
  46. Philip Giordano, Republican mayor from Connecticut sentenced to 37 years for forcing two 8 and 10 year old girls to perform oral sex on him in his City Hall office. NBC Article | Newsday Article
  47. Matthew Glavin, President and CEO of the Southeastern Legal Foundation, big player in the Clinton Impeachment, and many anti-gay jihads, has been arrested multiple times for public indecency, one time fondling the crotch of the officer who was arresting him. Full Article
  48. Marty Glickman, Republican activist, was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with a juvenile and one count of delivering the drug LSD.
  49. Mark A. Grethen, Republican activist from Virginia, convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children. Orlando Weekly article
  50. Jon Grunseth, Republican businessman and candidate for Minnesota governor, withdrew his candidacy after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter, and tried to grope one. "I've made some mistakes" he said. USA Today article
  51. Dr. W. David Hager, Bush appointee from Kentucky, member of Focus on the Family's Physician Resource Council, player in movement to ban the morning-after-pill. Had an adulterous affair, before divorcing his wife he sexually abused her, including sodomizing her in her sleep. Article
  52. Mark Harris, Republican city councilman from Wisconsin who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
  53. John Hathaway, Republican Senate candidate from Maine, was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media. Source: Casco Bay weekly
  54. Howard Scott Heldreth, anti-abortion activist who gained fame during the Schiavo media-circus, was convicted of two charges of raping a child in 2002. page at Florida Department of Law Enforcement's Sexual Offender/Predator Unit
  55. Mike Hintz, a First Assembly of God youth pastor from Des Moines, Iowa, introduced by Bush on the campaign trail, and promoted his policies. Says he supports Bush's values. Two months later, this married father of four turned himself into police, charged with the sexual exploitation of a child. Article | Commentary Also signed an ad (that called for criminally prosecuting business that sell porn), together with another pastor who was repeatedly busted for public masturbation.
  56. Neal Horsley, anti-abortion activist from Georgia. Has called for the arrest of all homosexuals. Admitted on the Fox News Radio's The Alan Colmes Show, that he's had sex with mules. Put photographs on his Web site of naked men engaging in homosexual acts and a nude woman engaging in bestiality amid shots of grotesquely maimed fetuses. Drug dealer convicted of possession of hashish with intent to sell. He calls for "the establishment of a new government, one that can obey God's plan for government."
  57. Henry Hyde, Republican Congressman from Illinois, Judge who oversaw Clinton's impeachment proceedings, prominent opponent of reproductive rights, who had an extramarital affair with a woman who was married and had three children, during the course of which she and her husband were divorced. Salon.com article
  58. Don Haidl, Assistant Sheriff of Orange Country, in violation of California's rape shield law, led a smear campaign against the child his son poisoned and then violently gang-raped on videotape, adding up to 24 felony counts. He said that his son "acted accordingly" because the child was a "slut". The full gruesome story, with many newspaper articles.
  59. Tim Hutchinson, divorced his wife of 29 years to marry a congressional aide he was having an affair with.
  60. Paul Ingram, Republican Party leader of Thurston County, Washington, pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison. Source: The Olympian Article
  61. Bill Janklow, former S. Dakota Governor and Congressman, arrested for drunk driving, disorderly conduct, assaulting an officer, and indecent exposure in 1974. Pardoned his son-in-law for multiple drunk driving convictions in 2002. Resigned congressional seat due to a felony manslaughter conviction in a reckless driving incident (running a stop sign at 70 mph)in 2003 that resulted in the death of farmer, Vietnam veteran, and motorcyclist Randy Scott, 55, of Hardwick, Minnesota. Janklow served 100 days of a possible 11-year sentence. Janklow sought and received immunity from civil damages on the grounds that he was traveling on business related to his role as a congressman when the killing of Scott occurred. Janklow also petitioned to get back (and was granted) his license to practice law in the state of South Dakota. Link from American Motorcyclist Association webpage
  62. Bernard Kerik, had two simultaneous adulterous affairs.
  63. Earl Kimmerling, from Indiana, sentenced to 40 years in prison after he confessed to molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her. Anderson, IN, Mayor Mark Lawler and Republican State Reps. Jack Lutz of Anderson, IN, and Woody Burton of Greenwood, IN, supported him.Source
  64. Randy Steven Kraft Republican serial killer convicted of 16 murders and suspected of at least 51 others.
  65. I. Lewis Libby, former Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff to Vice President Dick Cheney. In 1996 published a novel containing bizarre sexual content, including bestiality and pedophilia.Full Details (Oh yeah, and he's also been indicted on obstruction of justice, perjury and making false statements, charges adding up to 10 years in prison.)
  66. Rush Limbaugh, triple-divorcee, 30-pill a day drug addict. Goodies from The Smoking Gun.com
  67. Bob Livingston, former Congressman (R-La.), Speaker of the House; resigned from the House in the wake of revelations about his past adultery -- at the same time he was leading calls for impeachment of President Clinton.
  68. Donald Lukens, Former Ohio Republican Congressman, was found guilty of having sex with a minor - a girl he was accused of sleeping with since she was 13. Also convicted of taking $15,000 in bribes from the operators of a trade school while he was a congressman. A U.S. District Court jury in Washington deliberated for just one hour before reaching the verdict. Time Article
  69. Pat McPherson, Douglas County, Nebraska Election Commissioner. Arrested for fondling a 17-year-old girl. Article
  70. Jon Matthews, Republican talk show host in Houston, was indicted for indecency with a child, including exposing his genitals to a girl under the age of 17. Source: ABC News
  71. Jeff Miller, (R-Cleveland), Senate Republican Caucus Chairman in Tennessee and the sponsor of Tennessee's Marriage Protection act, getting divorced (as of April 2005) because of an affair he was having with an office aid. Miller described the Tennessee Marriage Protection Act as a means of preserving the sanctity of marriage. He opposed an amendment, however, which stated that "Adultery is deemed to be a threat to the institution of marriage and contrary to public policy in Tennessee."
  72. Nicholas Morency, Republican anti-abortion activist from Cape May County, NJ, pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor The Dallas Morning News article.
  73. Sue Myrick, Congresswoman (R-NC), describes herself as a "devout Christian." Committed adultery with a married man.
  74. Bill O'Reilly Right-wing conservative talk show host on Fox News, sued for sexual harassment by his producer. The suit included graphic details, including tape-recordings. O'Reilly's wife was pregnant at the time. O'Reilly settled and paid millions of dollars rather than have the details become public.
  75. Bob Packwood, Senator (R-Ore.), resigned in 1995 under a threat of public senate hearings related to 10 female ex-staffers accusing him of sexual harassment.
  76. Jeffrey Patti, Republican Committee Chairman from Sparta, NJ, was arrested for distributing what experts call "some of the most offensive material in the child pornography world" - a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped. Daily Record News Article
  77. Brent Parker Utah State Representative. Arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer posing as a male prostitute. KSL News Article |Deseret News Article
  78. John Paulk, lied about prowling for gay sex while running a fundamentalist group to cure gays.
  79. Mark Pazuhanich, Republican judge from Monroe County, PA, pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. Pocono Record article
  80. John Peterson, Congressman (R-Pa), accused of sexual harassment and creation of a hostile work environment by six women. Peterson has refused to admit a crime, saying only "I may have been an excessive hugger."
  81. Harvey Pitt, SEC Chief under George W. Bush until he was forced to resign in 2002. Worked for New Frontier Media, a firm which distributed teen sex videos.
  82. Ronald Reagan First president to be divorced (from a woman who had been married two or three times before him - the record is unclear, none of which seems to bother the religious right).
  83. George Roche III, carried on a 19 year affair with his son's wife, while serving as president of Hillsdale College in Michigan, which "emphasizes the importance of the common moral truths that bind all Americans, while recognizing the importance of religion for the maintenance of a free society."
  84. Beverly Russell, County Chairman of the Christian Coalition as well as a member of the South Carolina Republican Party's executive committee, sexually molested his step-daughter, Susan Smith, who later drowned her two children. Herald-Journal Article |Commentary on Newsweek Article
  85. Jack Ryan, 2004 Republican nominee for US Senate from Illinois, pressured his wife, actress Jeri Ryan, to have sex with other men. Tricked her into visiting sex clubs, where he asked her to have sex with him while others watched.
  86. Rick Santorum, used $100,000 of PA state funds earmarked for that state's school children to educate his own children, who were not residents of Pennsylvania.
  87. Joe Scarborough, former Republican Congressman from Pensacola, Florida, currently a conservative talk show host. Resigned his congressional seat abruptly to spend more time with his family, amidst allegations of an affair. His intern, Lori Klausutis, was soon after found dead in his office. The medical examiner, who had his license revoked in Missouri for falsifying information in an autopsy report, and suspended in Florida for six years, ruled the case an accident, after giving conflicting information about her injuries. He said he lied about them because "The last thing we wanted was 40 questions about a head injury."
  88. Ed Schrock, two-term Republican Congressman from Virginia, with a 92% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. Cosponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment, consistently opposed gay rights. Married, with wife and kids. Withdrew his candidacy for a third term after tapes of him soliciting for gay sex were circulated.
  89. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, right wing conservative radio host. Promotes family values, but estranged from her mother; opposes birth control, but has had her tubes tied; espouses saving oneself for marriage, but admits to having had sex before she was married; opposes adultery, but has committed adultery while she was married, and has slept with a married man; opposes divorce, but is divorced and remarried, has posed for nude photos which are available online.
  90. Larry Jack Schwarz, Republican parole board officer and former Colorado State Representative, fired after child pornography was found in his possession. Rocky Mountain News article With his political career over, he went to work in the hard-core pornography industry for Platinum X Pictures, owned by his daughter, porn starlet Jewel De'Nyle (Stephany Schwarz). Wikipedia article
  91. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Republican governor, had sex with a 16 year old when he was 28. Numerous allegations of gropings, harassment, in California.
  92. John Scmitz, right-wing republican congressman, who had had his committee chairship taken away from him in the California State Senate after issuing a press release attacking Jews, feminists and gays. Forced out of office in 1982 for having an adulterous affair and fathering two children out of wedlock with one of his students. He was caught because his baby was admitted to hospital for having hair tied so tightly around his penis that it was almost severed. His daughter, Mary Kay LeTourneau, was convicted of having an adulterous affair with one of her students, and giving birth to two of his children. Wikipedia article
  93. Don Sherwood, Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives representing the 10th Congressional District of Pennsylvania. Eventually admitted to an affair with a woman 30 years younger than him, after she accused him of physical abuse and attempting to choke her. Post-Gazette Article
  94. Tom Shortridge. Republican campaign consultant and former head of the South Bay, CA, Republican Club, was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl. Los Angeles Times Article
  95. Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr., Republican City Councilman from Wrightsville, PA, pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison. Sex Offender Registry page | Article
  96. Craig J. Spence, Republican lobbyist, organized orgies with child prostitutes in the White House during the 1980s. Full page including Washington Times article Discovery Channel documentary
  97. Jim Stelling, Seminole County Republican Party chairman who believes in "family values", as he told a judge. Filed a defamation lawsuit against Nancy Goettman, a former county GOP executive committee member, for falsely claiming he had been married six times. Stelling has been married 5 times. Article
  98. Roger Stone, Republican dirty-tricks operative, led the mob that shut down the Miami-Dade County recount; advisor for Bob Dole and Arlen Specter's Presidential campaigns, owner of Washington, D.C.-based Ikon Public Affairs. Place X-rated ads for group sex with his wife, Nydia. Claimed he was framed, even though the ads were placed with his credit card and used his P.O. Box.
  99. Jimmy Swaggart, televangelist, said during a sermon "I'm trying to find the correct name for it; this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men; I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died." Had an affair with a prostitute.
  100. David Swartz, Republican County Commissioner from Ohio, pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. Rocky Mountain News Article
  101. Randall Terry, Right to Life activist, founder of Operation Rescue, involved in the Terri Schiavo protests. Once imprisoned for sending former President Bill Clinton an aborted fetus. His son Jamiel is gay; his daughter Tila had sex outside of marriage, became pregnant, had a miscarriage - she is no longer welcome in his home; his daughter Ebony had 2 children outside of wedlock and became Muslim. He has campaigned against infidelity and birth control, gays and unwed mothers. Terry himself was censured by his church after committing adultery.
  102. Bill Thomas Republican congressman, had an affair with Deborah Steelman, a health care lobbyist who steered huge campaign gifts to Thomas' war chest.
  103. Strom Thurmond, Republican Senator from South Carolina and racist, impregnated a 15-year old African American maid. (BBC Article)
  104. Robin Vanderwall, Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate, convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. Virginian-Pilot Article
  105. Robert Waltrip, Bush campaign contributor. Runs a funeral company which had to settle a lawsuit because bodies were being dug up and dumped in the woods. According to Fox News, Waltrip's company, a cemetery company called Service Corporation International (also known as Dignity Memorial) was "recycling" graves, removing the bodies that were there originally and throwing them in the woods to use the space to house new customers at two Jewish cemeteries in Florida. George W. Bush, who had met with Waltrip, was subpoenaed but refused to testify in the case.
  106. J.C. Watts, Representative (R-Oklahoma), loud champion of "moral values." Has out-of-wedlock children.
    Jim West, Spokane Mayor. Supported a bill, which failed, would have barred gays and lesbians from working in schools, day-care centers and some state agencies. Voted to bar the state from distributing pamphlets telling people how to protect themselves from AIDS. Proposed that "any touching of the sexual or other intimate parts of a person" among teens be criminalized. Had a sexual affair with an 18 year old boy.Source: Spokesman Review
  107. Keith Westmoreland, a Tennessee state representative (R), was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to minors under 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children). Tennessean Article
  108. Stephen White, Republican preacher. Was arrested after allegedly offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy in West Chester, PA, for permission to perform oral sex on him. Daily Pennsylvanian article | Daily Yale News Article
Just makes you want to go out and vote for an elephant, doesn't it? And if those 108 examples (Yes, that was a liust 108 people long...) let's not forget other Republican faux pas of recent weeks, shall we? Mark Foley, Jack Ambramoff, Tom DeLay, Sen. Hastert, and on and on and on... Yeah, continue to "Vote Your Values" and soon we'll all be hypocrites... Just like poor Reverend Haggard...

There once was a man from Colorado,
Who, after speaking just like God he was Hallow,
Lied through his teeth
As he confessed his sins clean
"I like paying men to be my hoes..."
Think he'll ever be as popular as the Man from Nantucket?

3 comments:

Deacon Barry said...

There once was a preacher named Haggard,
A liar, a druggie and braggard
Gay sex he bought
And now he's got caught
So now, quite frankly, he's baggered.

Jason Hughes said...

LOL deacon!

Deacon Barry said...

There once was a preacher named Haggard,
A liar, a druggie and braggard
Gay sex he bought
And now he's got caught
So now, quite frankly, he's baggered.