Monday, September 11, 2006

Sorry, Kia... I Couldn't Do It...

BACKSTORY:
It started about a year and a half ago; I was going on and on at work about how Moulin Rogue was the greatest love story I'd ever seen on film: the satire, the music (yet not a musical), the love, the passion--everything!

Kia, of course, didn't believe me. So I told her she had to watch it; she had a condition: I had to watch The Ring. It was already a well-established fact that I hated horror movies. Couldn't stand them! In fact, when I was younger, when my two brothers and my one sister would rent horror movies, I would suddenly have to take a really long bowel movement. Luckily, my mom always kept the bathroom absolutely stocked with the latest in Reader's Digest. Or I would suddenly take the opportunity to get some alone time on the Nintendo on the downstairs TV. Perhaps read a book. Sure, they made fun of me: "Aww, poor Jason, he's scared! Hahaha!"

In the face of such laughter and scorn, the first couple of times I tried to sit there and covertly close my eyes, ever-so-slightly shift my position so my ears would also be covered. (FYI: this doesn't help anything...)

WHY I AM APOLOGIZING TO KIA:
So it started: Kia would give me a horror movie to watch, and I would give her either a great comedy or romantic comedy to watch, as she seemed to suffer from the exact opposite of my movie condition: a hatred of comedies and their off-spring.

So this time around, she had to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I had to watch Saw. I was actually supposed to watch this movie and Saw 2 while I was on vacation, but I wasn't about to ruin my vacation with that!

And tonight, my husband took advantage of the opportunity to rent Saw. He, of course, loves horror movies, but out of respect for my subconscious & conscious, he only rents them on days when he has off and I'm at work. But he knew it was on the list, knew I had made a commitment to Kia, knew he had to run out to get the Chinese food (Mmm, Mmm, Mmm--General Tsao's chicken, please!), so he picked it up--the Chinese and Saw.

I made it till he kidnapped the daughter and the mother and I just picked up the remote and shut it off. My hands were trembling. I immediately went out to smoke (taking the dog with me to scare off potential serial killers hiding in the shadows), with Rich saying, "Baby, are you okay? Bab--" as I slam the front door shut and light up. He knew what was wrong, but he's a talker (much like my mother--oh, god, I married my mother in male form!!!) and wanted me to express my feelings... I am not a talker. (I know, I know--you wouldn't know it from the way I ramble on here, but I'll digress for now...)

WHY I THINK I HATE HORROR MOVIES:
Not only do they give me severe--and that is not and understatement--severe nightmares, I think it has a lot to do with my overall personality.

I am, and you can ask anyone who knows me, the Eternal Optimist. I see the good, the potential, the rosy-side every single time. I enjoy the good, the beautiful, the happy (which begs, I suppose, my friendship with Darkmind... Hey, even super villains have a rosy side, right? :D).

I know we, as humans, have the potential for so much evil, so much bad, so much-- there must be a better word. I certainly don't need to see it glorified on my TV screen--just take a look at some of my artwork--I come up with some pretty dark stuff on my own! (well, maybe it isn't that dark to you, but to me...). Anyway, it's probably deeper than that; I should probably get a shrink or something; I'm not sure. It's not like I was accosted or something and tortured--far from it! I've had a great life so far! But something in these types of movies just terrifies me to my core.

Now I will argue till I'm blue in the face, and Tom will disagree, that The Ring was probably one of the dumbest and nonscariest movies I've ever seen. That, as I mentioned earlier, was near the beginning of my and Kia's little movie-exchange program. Bored me to tears, actually. Why is that so different from, say, Saw or Nightmare on Elm Street? (yes, yes, yes--I found it extremely scary--no need to make fun, my brothers have already been there, done that...) I'm still not sure. Maybe I never will.

But I just couldn't do Saw. Maybe I'll try it again while the sun is still up tomorrow when I get home from work (assuming there's no overtime...) This usually doesn't make a difference, but I like to think, as the Eternal Optimist I am, that it will.
As a side note, I found a few websites (here and here) that give general overviews of how to run for office--very general--so I will be e-mailing my Senators tomorrow or Wednesday to ask for their thoughts or suggestions, if they can spare the time. I also have to think about where I will start: city? state? school board? This will probably take weeks of looking up requirements, laws, and such. I will try to keep you all posted as I take this journey, insomuch as a journey it becomes.

13 comments:

Ann said...

Ja, let me save you some time and tell you about the rest of Saw.... It sucked! Let me tell you about Saw 2.... It sucked some more! Finally, let me tell you about Hostel.... It sucked monkey balls! I actually wanted to leave the theater but Tom and Sylvia didn't want to...
But I am of the camp that The Ring and The Exorcist are the two scariest movies I can think of at the moment. The Exorcism of Emily Rose, while the writing blew ass, actually had some bone-chilling, nerve-wrattling scenes. But I'm more of a psychological scary movie kind of girl, than a gory kind of girl. The Shining-- in, Halloween-- out!

Rodolfo said...

Non-fiction scares me more so trying to watch a fictional scary movie doesn't do much for me. anyway I've never voted but if you have a good platform and I see you on the ballot I just might vote for you...

Jason Hughes said...

LOL! Thanks, Ann, for the heads up, but one person's suckiness is another person's terror... :D

Mom keeps trying to tell me I could handle the Exorcism of Emily Rose, but the only way it comes into my house if if Kia makes me watch it... and even then, it ain't a sure thing! :)

Rodolfo: thanks for the perhaps" vote :)

I'm sure one day something wll click in my head and I'll go, "Oh! So that's why..." in ref to the whole horror thing, but until then, I'm glad you guys can enjoy them!

Thanks for sharing!

Darkmind said...
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Ergo said...

Darkmind seems more spooky than the scary movies! ;)

But yea, I'm utterly bored with scary movies too... I've seen so many of them. However, in my childhood (when i used to be an ardent Christian!), I used to be so scared of such movies, I would hide in corners of rooms so that I would no there wasn't anything (anyone) behind me.

Now that I am a full-blown atheist, scary movies are nothing more than bad computer graphics, lots of unnecessary gore and filth, and just plain dumb story-lines.

Dar said...

Oddly, I had extreme nightmares after Moulin Rouge...the "Like a Virgin" routine was horrendous! Never again!

I'm with Kia on the horror flicks. I loved Saw! I love being terrified! Saw II was predictable and lacked the complexity of the first. If Rich really wants to be grossed out, see Hostel. Mike and I left the theatre feeling...utterly disturbed. To the core. They crossed some kind of line with that one.

K said...

First--for the record: Moulin Rouge is one of the WORST movies I have ever seen in my life! I was barely able to make it thru the whole thing...pure torture!

Second: I like romantic comedies...it's the regular comedies I'm not a big fan of.

Third: Jason, how the heck could you make it thru The Ring 1 & 2 and The Amityville Horror, but couldn't sit thru all of Saw??? Saw wasn't the slightest bit scary!! But then again, you're also the one who thought Identity was scary... :o) :o) :o) Lucky for you, I'm not planning on putting The Exorcism of Emily Rose on the list...that movie bored me (although I'm sure it would freak u out). As for what I'm gonna make you watch next---you'll just have to wait & see... :o)

Jason Hughes said...

Kia: You are evil! LOL!

How did I become friends with so many horror-flick movie-lovers?!?

Good god, I thought more would be on my side on this! LOL!

Thanks all, for your thoughts and comments... That is, unless you are all really just serial killers trying to lure me into trusting you with a house key so you can torture me for days in my basement an--

I'll stop there...

Kelly said...

I'm with Dar and Kia...Moulin Rouge is horror in itself! That guy's makeup scared the dickens out of me.

But, hey, at least **I** knew enough to bow out of you and Kia's "you have to watch this" game after that! :)

Darkmind said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dar said...

Oddly, I had extreme nightmares after Moulin Rouge...the "Like a Virgin" routine was horrendous! Never again!

I'm with Kia on the horror flicks. I loved Saw! I love being terrified! Saw II was predictable and lacked the complexity of the first. If Rich really wants to be grossed out, see Hostel. Mike and I left the theatre feeling...utterly disturbed. To the core. They crossed some kind of line with that one.

Jason Hughes said...

LOL! Thanks, Ann, for the heads up, but one person's suckiness is another person's terror... :D

Mom keeps trying to tell me I could handle the Exorcism of Emily Rose, but the only way it comes into my house if if Kia makes me watch it... and even then, it ain't a sure thing! :)

Rodolfo: thanks for the perhaps" vote :)

I'm sure one day something wll click in my head and I'll go, "Oh! So that's why..." in ref to the whole horror thing, but until then, I'm glad you guys can enjoy them!

Thanks for sharing!

Rodolfo said...

Non-fiction scares me more so trying to watch a fictional scary movie doesn't do much for me. anyway I've never voted but if you have a good platform and I see you on the ballot I just might vote for you...