Sorry, Kia... I Couldn't Do It...

BACKSTORY:
It started about a year and a half ago; I was going on and on at work about how Moulin Rogue was the greatest love story I'd ever seen on film: the satire, the music (yet not a musical), the love, the passion--everything!

Kia, of course, didn't believe me. So I told her she had to watch it; she had a condition: I had to watch The Ring. It was already a well-established fact that I hated horror movies. Couldn't stand them! In fact, when I was younger, when my two brothers and my one sister would rent horror movies, I would suddenly have to take a really long bowel movement. Luckily, my mom always kept the bathroom absolutely stocked with the latest in Reader's Digest. Or I would suddenly take the opportunity to get some alone time on the Nintendo on the downstairs TV. Perhaps read a book. Sure, they made fun of me: "Aww, poor Jason, he's scared! Hahaha!"

In the face of such laughter and scorn, the first couple of times I tried to sit there and covertly close my eyes, ever-so-slightly shift my position so my ears would also be covered. (FYI: this doesn't help anything...)

WHY I AM APOLOGIZING TO KIA:
So it started: Kia would give me a horror movie to watch, and I would give her either a great comedy or romantic comedy to watch, as she seemed to suffer from the exact opposite of my movie condition: a hatred of comedies and their off-spring.

So this time around, she had to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I had to watch Saw. I was actually supposed to watch this movie and Saw 2 while I was on vacation, but I wasn't about to ruin my vacation with that!

And tonight, my husband took advantage of the opportunity to rent Saw. He, of course, loves horror movies, but out of respect for my subconscious & conscious, he only rents them on days when he has off and I'm at work. But he knew it was on the list, knew I had made a commitment to Kia, knew he had to run out to get the Chinese food (Mmm, Mmm, Mmm--General Tsao's chicken, please!), so he picked it up--the Chinese and Saw.

I made it till he kidnapped the daughter and the mother and I just picked up the remote and shut it off. My hands were trembling. I immediately went out to smoke (taking the dog with me to scare off potential serial killers hiding in the shadows), with Rich saying, "Baby, are you okay? Bab--" as I slam the front door shut and light up. He knew what was wrong, but he's a talker (much like my mother--oh, god, I married my mother in male form!!!) and wanted me to express my feelings... I am not a talker. (I know, I know--you wouldn't know it from the way I ramble on here, but I'll digress for now...)

WHY I THINK I HATE HORROR MOVIES:
Not only do they give me severe--and that is not and understatement--severe nightmares, I think it has a lot to do with my overall personality.

I am, and you can ask anyone who knows me, the Eternal Optimist. I see the good, the potential, the rosy-side every single time. I enjoy the good, the beautiful, the happy (which begs, I suppose, my friendship with Darkmind... Hey, even super villains have a rosy side, right? :D).

I know we, as humans, have the potential for so much evil, so much bad, so much-- there must be a better word. I certainly don't need to see it glorified on my TV screen--just take a look at some of my artwork--I come up with some pretty dark stuff on my own! (well, maybe it isn't that dark to you, but to me...). Anyway, it's probably deeper than that; I should probably get a shrink or something; I'm not sure. It's not like I was accosted or something and tortured--far from it! I've had a great life so far! But something in these types of movies just terrifies me to my core.

Now I will argue till I'm blue in the face, and Tom will disagree, that The Ring was probably one of the dumbest and nonscariest movies I've ever seen. That, as I mentioned earlier, was near the beginning of my and Kia's little movie-exchange program. Bored me to tears, actually. Why is that so different from, say, Saw or Nightmare on Elm Street? (yes, yes, yes--I found it extremely scary--no need to make fun, my brothers have already been there, done that...) I'm still not sure. Maybe I never will.

But I just couldn't do Saw. Maybe I'll try it again while the sun is still up tomorrow when I get home from work (assuming there's no overtime...) This usually doesn't make a difference, but I like to think, as the Eternal Optimist I am, that it will.

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As a side note, I found a few websites (here and here) that give general overviews of how to run for office--very general--so I will be e-mailing my Senators tomorrow or Wednesday to ask for their thoughts or suggestions, if they can spare the time. I also have to think about where I will start: city? state? school board? This will probably take weeks of looking up requirements, laws, and such. I will try to keep you all posted as I take this journey, insomuch as a journey it becomes.