Monday, August 21, 2006

Looking for A Little Lovin'?

I mean, god must be male, right? Otherwise, why would the women of Nepal plow their fields naked in order to appease the gods and get some rainfall?

Yeah, we laugh at this in the Western world. We say, "What the fuck?! Plowing naked, you really expect atmospheric pressure to develop and drop water? Backwoods savages."

But then I read this article where a woman in a chocolate factory in California finds a lump of chocolate that looks suspiciously like the virgin mary holding baby jesus...

Seriously, go look at the picture.

At what point does God say to himself,

"Oh, look, that woman's having a bad day. I know what'll cheer her up! A sign that she is loved... Unlike those women in Nepal." God then leans over the clouds to stare down at the barren fields and shouts, "I wanna see some jiggling breasts there, ladies!!! No jiggle--no sprinkle!!" God then leans back and looks over at Hollywood and the woman making chocolates and says, "Oh, the poor thing. She found the chocolate that looks like my mommy! Yeah!" Claps hands and squeals with delight, inadvertently sending a boom of thunder causing a tsunami in Madagascar. "Oh, well," God says to himself again. "They're just as bad as those Nepal women anyway in Madagascar..." and promptly takes a nap while Jesus and the Holy Ghost run around trying to answer all the prayers for help in many foreign languages...
Or maybe it is just me and god really does work that way. I mean, it did drizzle after they were done plowing au natural, and the woman in the chocolate factory did get a fuzzy warm...

Or maybe, just maybe, we're looking for love in all the wrong places...

2 comments:

becket said...

After reading your blog, I definitely think YOU are the one looking for love in all the wrong places. Seriously, maybe you should really tone down the sacreligious comments. God will not take them lightly.

Jason Hughes said...

Your skygod is more than welcome to "smite" me with lightening any time he pleases...

That is, of course, is he is able to. He may be busy looking at all the jiggling happening in Nepal...

Thanks for stopping by, though, Becket. Differing opinions are alwys welcome here...