Obeying the Laws are Their Own Reward, But a Top-of-the-Line Toaster Oven is Nice, Too!

So here we are, in the midst of a grand disagreement over biblical interpretation. I was a little disappointed with the last round, as no fundies could really explain Paul's great conundrum, sort of a "Where's Waldo" of the biblical world. But alas, biblical interpretation waits for no man, so onward to winning that great prize in the sky: A brand-new toaster oven from the great G-man himself. Or, at least, eternal life. Personally, I'd rather have the toaster oven, but that might be just me. I heard through the grape-vine that's it's available in stainless steel and metallic blue, which would go perfectly with my dream kitchen that I also have yet to acquire. But I digress.

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Our problem:

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Paul says:
Romans 10:4 For Christ is the end of the law, that every one who has faith may be justified.

versus

Jesus says:
Matthew 5:17-18 Think not that I have come to abolish the law and the prophets; I have come not to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the law until all is accomplished.

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Do we understand the issue? So are Christians to obey the law or not? This becomes quite an issue, especially in regards to our last post, Homosexuality & the Bible: The Truth, Part 2: Levitical Law. The issue arises over the fact that while fundies like to use levitical passages to "justify" their moral code in regards to the "homosexual lifestyle" (which, if I ever do get the memo defining what that really entails, I'll let you know; as a card carrying member of the Gay Agenda, I expect an updated memo in regards to the evil lifestyle I should be living any day now). They like to say they have been "redeemed" by the blood of Christ, but what if they've been deluded by Paul, the usurper of the Christian religion? Jesus himself says in plain old English (because of course he spoke the King James into existence between making wine while crashing weddings and rising from the dead; something David Blain has yet to figure out how to do), that "not one iota, not one dot" of the law shall pass until all is "fulfilled." Yeah, kind of cryptic. He was funny like that, this Jesus dude. He told stories, parables if you will, instead of just saying, "Yo! Be nice to each other! Jeez!" While speaking these words to his disciples, he goes on to say in verse 20 that "except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven." Whoa, stop the press! You have to be better than the teachers of the day? Granted, they were a bunch of hypocritical bastards (Hmm, reminds you of our religious leaders today, doesn't it?), but nonetheless, a tall order. Jesus sums up this little pep talk with "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Damn! Perfect? Is he kidding? It is important to note that, in some translations of this chapter, all prophecy and biblical law is implied when it comes to the law not passing away until "all is fulfilled." Which would mean that Christians are expected to live according to Levitical law!

Then we have Paul. Mr. "I saw the light after I fell off my ass on my ass" self-proclaimed Apostle of Christ. And he states under no uncertain terms that "Christ abolished the law." Gone. Totally. This is actually quite a recurring theme through all of Paul's letters, despite his maybe/maybe-not three-year's-of-my-life-are-in-limbo issue. Just love God and your neighbor. It's not by works. It is through grace and mercy alone. Now Paul could very well be assuming that once Jesus did that nifty trick of disappearing while decaying, that meant "all was fulfilled," but that would be disregarding supposed prophecy of the millennial kingdom and final judgment, of which we know Paul was also a big pusher of. His real beef (no pun intended; you'll find out in a minute why that this disclaimer was called for...) comes from the fact that he doesn't like how the Jews are still following the law when the supposed messiah has come and gone (without the benefit of a farewell tour!!!; I think it may come down to Paul's hankering for a double-quarter-pounder with cheese...). So we have an enormous conundrum here.

Which is it to be? Love me, love me, Say that you'll love me, or I Shot the Sheriff? I mean, Jesus goes into the whole love thing to, but it's really in reference to the fact that if you do love your neighbor, you'll be keeping the letter of the law. Paul's just fuzzy-warms it up. And James, well, he's more in line with Jesus line of thinking and is kind of like a slap in Paul's face, really. And James didn't have to fall off an ass, either.

Perhaps fundies will find out in the great beyond that they should have dumped Paul in favor of Leviticus. Or perhaps they'll have nothing to worry about. But if it turns out they were wrong about the whole thing and have really just been filling the shoes of a modern-day Pharisee, I don't think they'll be happy with the consolation prize of Toaster Oven, no matter what stylish colors it may be presented in...