Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Fact-Teller Strikes Again!

What started out as an inoculous little tale about Horatio, the little gray mouse that lives in my kitchen, turned into a huge lecture from you-know-who about how certain traps are only designed to catch certain size mice.

Give me a fucking break.

Now, I've owned hamsters, mice, gerbils, and all sorts of rodent-type creatures ever since I was eight. The only reason I don't keep them as pets anymore as my dearly departed cat Pavement always viewed them as appetizers, not fellow pets. And while I'm sure there are "different sized mice," traps are traps. They are meant to kill. Rich is all about killing Horatio, but me and the dog have found a nice balance of "live and let live" with Horatio. Being an animal lover, I had to name him as Rich now feels slight guilt about setting traps. Not that Horatio will be caught. He's been there since November, set off many of the traps, always gets the cheese and peanut butter, but never getting killed. Bethany, in her infinite wisdom, instead of chuckling along with the funny tale of Horatio the Magic Mouse, decided she would advise me on "facts" about:

1.) The differing sizes of the common house mouse.
2.) How traps weren't designed for the smaller of these mice.
3.) The pros and cons of using sticky paper.

Did she miss the part where I said I didn't want him killed? Using sticky paper is the same as Dancing Monkey Bush ignoring Geneva Conventions. Torture before death. And come on, trap weren't designed for the "smaller mice"? Has she been watching "Jerky Jeopardy"? She is an idiot with all good intentions, no social graces, and little common sense.

Luckily, Rich is against sticky paper for entirely different reasons, but since he has yet to let me hear these complaints against it, I'll leave well enough alone.

I'm sure Horatio is pleased, though!


In other news, my sister will be hooked up to an IV at home for the next two weeks. She is three months along and has LOST 11 pounds since her pregnancy began. My mother is quite concerned, of course, but Cynthia has never been a very strong person, but I know she'll pull through. She may be a wimp, but she's got Hughes blood in her, and that's seen her through before!


Also, to let you all know, someone posted a comment a while back asking about my feelings concerning horror movies. I haven't forgotten to answer that, but time restrictions don't always allow, so I will touch on that hopefully this weekend! Oh, also coming up, more thoughts on the Garden of Eden and myths perpetuated by the religious right! Stay tuned!

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