Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Dirty Birdie and the Deity...

It's just amazing to me what people spend their time creating...

The husband knew this, and took this candid shot of me contemplating a metal chicken with plants coming out of its back... He finds it quite humorous how I can just get lost in thought over what, on the surface, seems "uncontemplatable"--his word.

He finds it amazing that I contemplate metal cocks with plants, just as I am amazed at who would bother making such a thing... (as well as whomever first dubbed the male chicken a "cock"...)

At least the artist behind the chicken gets paid for his creation. There's a huge market for kitchy/rustic/metal/country shit...

It's almost like those TV commercials that sell items for just $19.95--who in the hell needs a spatula that flattens, dices, and waxes your car? Of course, enough people think they need it, and will call in the next ten minutes just so they can end up with TWO flattening-dicing-waxing spatulas at the same low price.

I hear they make great stocking stuffers...

That same say--a glorious day spent with hubby, Mom, and Aunt Denise flea-marketing and yard-sale perusing--that I also laughed out loud at this--what brilliant mind thought, "Hey! I know what the market needs--a still-life in white plastic of Jesus on the day he was born! We can even include a wooden base--all for just TWO DOLLARS! What a great memorial to our lord and savior!"

Something tells me it won't become the family heirloom the first-ever nativity creator was expecting... But hey--who knew you could get Jesus so cheap? And outside the church?! Not that the church doesn't cheapen their god in much more myriad ways, but I suppose it's the thought that counts... This way even Jesus can be a stocking stuffer, and perhaps--just perhaps--re-steal the holiday season once more from unbelieving pagans...

And at bargain-basement prices to boot...

What kills me is that, while Jesus and family are worth two dollars, the metal cock? It was selling for $45...

Monday, September 29, 2008

Where the Falling Angel Meets the Rising Ape...

It's like when people who call themselves Lync say things like:

It is sad to see so many who are wise in their own sight, yet who continue to be so decieved [sic] by Satan. He continues to misquote God, cause confusion and temptation just as he tempted Eve so many years ago. This method worked for him then, and it still works for him.
It ruins any notions of the pictured Link being a knight in shining armor and a force for good...

The only thing that crosses my mind when people like Lync start spouting off such silly words is Do they realize this is the year 2008? That we've put a man on the moon? Cured diseases? Harnessed electricity? Looked at light fourteen billion years old? Invented the perfect ham-and-cheese sandwich? Fundamentally changed the flavor of Coca-Cola?? What can you say to someone with such a twisted sense of reality? Either Lync has been living at the Renaissance Faire while heavily medicated, or there is something seriously wrong with the neurological pathways in such a mind set...

Something tells me questions were not encouraged in little Lync's life...

The one good thing about science is, as it continues to ask things like "why," "how," and "wherefore" (you know, the basic questions most two-year-olds have mastered...), god is found in fewer and fewer places--satan even less so! But then as kids get older and their parents just start flat-out squelching the merest hint of a "Why?" ("Because I said so, that's why! Don't question my authority!! Rock music is EVIL! R-rated movies are of SATAN! Cards were invented by a DEMON! Dinosaur bones were planted in the dirt to drive you away from GOD!!!"), most people can't seem to ever get themselves to ask again... Where religion thrives and intelligence dies, this is what the church is built on...

I weep for the children of Catholics, Southern Baptists, evangelicals, Muslims, Hindus, Brittany Spears... (Especially the children of Brittany Spears...)

Christians used to believe that god kept the sun going 'round the Earth (and every now and then caused the sun to "stop in the sky"... You know, when he wanted the Hebrews to smite in his good and just name...). Then we figured out it's the other way around. And not because of some sky daddy, but because of this nifty thing called gravity. (Yeah science!) So god could no longer be found in the upper atmosphere, nor in the gaseous bright thing burning perpetually in the sky above...

And disease isn't some punishment by that same sky daddy for being pissed at you! It's called virus's and bacteria, other living things (as much as a virus can be said to be "living"...) going through what WE go through! Living! So god could no longer be found in the boils on your ass, the zit on your nose, or the crabs in your pubes...

Here's another news flash: earthquakes and volcano's aren't caused by failing to pray or forgetting to sacrifice a virgin!! Seriously! It seems we're floating about on tectonic plates rubbing together, crashing into one another, pulling away from one another...

Being that most of the physical, tangible world can longer support such ridiculous theories (outside of an institution...), now people look for god and satan in stupid little things, like the actual examination of the actual Hebrew of their holy book. After all, it MUST be a pitch-fork-carrying ex-angel with a grudge if someone comes to a different conclusion--especially when they came to that conclusion by studying the actual words and not basing it off of some "feeling" or "gut instinct" about what `asah tow`ebah means...

Sigh. I can only hope science and medicine find a cure for medieval superstitious nonsense. Otherwise this is what your kids will be learning is actual fact because too many have been suckered into contemplating creationism as an actual scientific theory instead of the idiotic philosophizing that it is:


You think I'm kidding? Look at any creationist propaganda--people living with vegetarian T-rex's and bark-chewing tigers, the lord god "made them all"...

I'd wonder about where they dream up this nonsense, but then I remember:

Death: Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.
Susan: With tooth fairies? Hogfathers?
Death: Yes. As practice, you have to start out learning to believe the little lies.
Susan: So we can believe the big ones?
Death: Yes.
Yes, indeed.

Friday, September 26, 2008

And the Debate Will Go On...

... and the world will get to decide if they prefer Michelle Obama's wardrobe choices over Cynthia McCain's...

This whole charade of "I place the economy as more important than the presidency" was laughable at best, sheer and utter panic-ridden poll-playing at worst. One wonders if he can handle both the "War on Drugs" and the "War on Terror" at the same time. He can't even toot his own horn to the public and pretend to know how to fix the "fundamentally-sound" economy at the same time!

Say it with me, McCain: "I will learn how to multi-task."

So I'll be at the bro and sis-in-laws house tonight, eating chip and dip and wondering if I can pretend to keep an open mind about McDush's answers to the questions...

I think perhaps McCain realized if he didn't show up, he'd be giving Barak a 2- to 3-hour window of nonstop, nationally-televised Democratic rally? The Maverick can't have that! It's a wonder one of his brilliant ideas wasn't to send the Palin in his stead--you know, to show how "ready she is" to be one heart attack away from the oval office...

Shudders at the thought...

And you think the "cowboy" we've had (Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal he is not!) for the last eight have been bad? Place that trigger-happy helicopter-hunting wolf/bear/moose-killing machine in the White House!

(Another bad visual--$4 billion dollars in tax-payer funds to redo the whole thing in dead fur... Ghastly!) Imagine the queen that would be behind THAT make-over!

Aid: No, Sarah, grizzly is sooo over-the-top. POLAR BEAR fur is all the rage in Alaskan B-n-B's this year!
Sarah: Well, then, let's get Air Force 1 up there and shoot us some Polar Bear!
Aid: And can we pick up some Spotted Owl's? I have a severe idea for lamps in the Lincoln bedroom!
Sarah: Hey, Intern! Tell Congress I just removed the Spotted Owl from the Endangered Species list! (Cocks her rifle over her shoulder) Time to add them to the extinct list...
She'll make Cheney look like the best hunting buddy anyone could ever ask for...

But that is another debate... (cue "Never Ending Story" theme song...)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dear Regina McKernan of Ventura, California...

You are an idiot.

In case you were wondering.

Perhaps I judge you to quick, Regina. After all, who knows what the editor of U.S. News & World Report cut out of your letter-to-the-editor before publishing your drivel...?

The "fortitude [of President Bush] during and after the 9/11 tragedy" is not "an accomplishment." Neither did he bring "our country out of despair," nor did he save us from "possible financial and economic catastrophe."

The country came together on its own. Bush used and abused that for his own war-mongering, and I can only imagine you were one of those cheering on the Iraq invasion, as well as the "tax cuts" that sent our country continually down this death-spiral economically.

And no, dear Regina, we do not need "to admire that he's been doggedly resolute to keep our country safe and free of any terrorist attacks since 9/11." What we can do is admire how one pig-headed man has been the best recruiting tool for al Queda since Mohammad started promising 72 virgins to all those pathetic, cowardly jihadist suicide bombers. We can admire how one pig-headed man took a surplus and squandered it on pointless, never-ending wars, to line the pockets of himself and other wealthy tycoons, and to dupe the right-wing into thinking he was "on their side." Bush may be stupid, but he appealed to a much broader group of stupid when he duped persons like you into supporting him and his ill-conceived ideas and plans.

And as for your silly statement that "there should not be such judgment while a president is still in office"? I give you the words of another president, one much more admired than that monkey Bush: "To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else." --Theodore Roosevelt, in the Kansas City Star, May 7, 1918

And he was a Republican to boot! Reading his biography, of course, one could draw a lot of similarities to him and the current loser living in the White House...

Except for the one thing that sets them apart: Roosevelt knew how to be a president...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Lots and Lots of Money...

Have you ever wondered what half a trillion dollars looks like?

$500,000,000,000.00
I still wonder why the Republicans claim to be the party of smaller government...

I mean, god forbid the rich should suffer. I love how we are now a government in debt because of the rich, for the rich. Robin Hood would be proud...

I bet ya Lehman is kicking themselves for not waiting just a few more days before declaring bankruptcy. Then they, too, could have gotten a free ride out of their bad business decisions...

So, once the failing financial institutions (Does anyone remember the Savings and Loans debacle of the Reagan years?!) have their bad debt erased because of our socialist "generosity," the American taxpayers get, in return, the privileged opportunity, from those very same financial institutions, to be extended more credit and more money in the form of loans on top of loans that the taxpayers can't afford to pay back in the first place?

Where can I sign up for that?!

I see a new generation of children growing up, saying things like, "Daddy, Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be an investor. I get to play with other people's money and get rich, no matter what happens!"

Let's take a short trip down political lane, shall we?
  • Since 1970, Republicans have held the presidency for 26 of the last 38 years.
  • Democrats had one back-to-back term in those 38 years; the Republicans have had four. In Clinton's back-to-back term, he spent the last six years with a Republican House and Senate.
  • The current administration has held control of the House, Senate, and Presidency for six of the last eight years. Bush's time in office and the control of the House/Senate has been the most favorable for a Republican since Calvin Coolidge. Add to that the fact that the current administration was handed a surplus when it took office, it provides a near optimal opportunity to test the Republican rhetoric.
If the idea is that Republican tax cuts for businesses will provide prosperity for the workers (keep a straight face, keep a straight face...!), then why have workers' wages effectively declined in the last 8 years...?

If the tax cuts are good for business, then why are we having the business/banking failures that we are having right now...?

We've tried trickle down and citizens have been waiting nearly three decades for the trickle ("It sounds like my grandfather taking a leak--so what, Mikey?"). With a very slight exception for the Clinton years (due to the dot.com bubble Republican policies also helped create...), it's time for a little bottom-up economics, which lets those of us down here get a little taste first.

(Remember us? The lower-middle class? The ones who used to have dreams and aspirations?)

Why would they? We don't have the money to pay people to set the economic policies that would favor us with money...

This bail out is nothing more than a way to keep the stupidly rich from becoming stupidly poor. You think this half a trillion dollars is going to keep anyone's home from being foreclosed upon? You think it will bring back the thousands your 401(k) lost these last eight years? You think it will go toward boosting the average workers wages so they can afford to pay for the rising costs of gas and groceries?

No, but it will keep CEO's and bankers and investors for being investigated and going to jail for fraud, negligence, and a host of other activities they shouldn't have been engaged in...

Do you know you shouldn't loan a friend money if you know they can't pay you back? Congratulations--you are smarter than a Wall Street tycoon...

You know... Robin Hood just may have been on to something...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Now AIG has Failed...

But the fundamentals of our economy are strong...

And my name is Dolly Parton...

When will people learn that "Reaganomics," or "trickle-down economics," doesn't work? Hello?!?!

I told several Republican voters in 2004 that Bush would ruin this country. None of them believed me. One even laughed in my face.

I can only hope he some money left to wipe his tears with...

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize..."

So in an effort to br "green," or what passes for green so far in this century we call the twenty-first, the husband and myself have bought our first ever string of solar powered holiday lights. We plan on pretending we live on boat-house row in Philadelphia and will be outlining the entire front of our home in white lights. Due to my high sense of tacky, however, I had to declare a firm "NO!" when it came to the Snoopy-on-his-Doghouse light-up display.

More people could take a lesson like that.

In addition to solar-powered lights, we also are the proud new owners of a rotating Christmas tree stand. Rotates 350° in one direction, stops, and then turns back the other way (to keep the cords from getting tangled, of course...).

I'm just giddy with excitement! I've already started my Christmas shopping (take that, Hallmark!) and I'm only a few people short of completing. Did I mention I just started three weeks ago? I must confess, I normally don't start this early, but when you come across a few good sales, nothing beats getting a jump start, you know?

I can see it now--I'll still be at the mall at 5:00 pm looking for that one thing to bring that awesome smile to someone's face, the one that says "How did you know? I love it!"

I love the holidays, even though they come at a most horrible time of year (see previous post). Just the immense joy and happiness you can bring to so many people with a gift, a letter, a cookie--hell, even a hug!

So, yes, I guess I'm as guilty as the mall in "pushing Christmas early," but you know what?

It makes me happy...

And it's better than being all Eyore about winter, you know? After all, it is our ability to accessorize that separates us from the animals. Well, that, and thumbs... And the ability to think of others...

In that order...

Happy early holidays! (And try not to hate me too much... You know, for being a better Christmas shopper than you...) :D

Monday, September 15, 2008

The Beauty of Fall... The Harbinger of Winter...


I broke down today and bought my new electric blanket on eBay. It couldn't be helped, really. Reality has a way of making sure of that...

I loathe winter. Of course, even in the middle of summer, my hands and feet are prone to being freezing cold, and once winter hits? There's no hope. It's permanent cold from November until late March, early April.

I need to move to Hawaii, that's all there is to it.

But you can't help but appreciate the beauty in Mother Nature. She certainly goes out with a bang... Most years. As I watch the silver maples turn gold and the Japanese cherry transform its leaves to the color of its spring fruit, I can't help but smile. It's beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous...

But it means I should be living in Hawaii.

Sigh. It's almost time to start up the coal stove, make the most of Thanksgiving and Christmas, followed by New Years and my birthday, and then the long, lonely, dark days of winter. It's depressing.

Of course, I'm gardening right up until I can't anymore. I just planted a yellow butterfly bush, two apple trees, three Lombard poplars, some red milkweed (unsure of actual variety), and some blue thingy I can't remember the name of at the moment--but it's a show-stopper! (or it will be next spring anyway...)

So, dear reader--what do you do during winter to keep the doldrums away?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Please Don't Stop the Music...



Some have flown away
And can't be with us here today
Like the hills of my home
Some have crumbled and now are gone
Gather around for today won't come again
Won't come again

I am blessed
I am blessed to be a witness
Watching Joan of Arcadia tonight with The Hubby, I'm always in awe of whomever was in charge of picking out the music for the series. Granted, I'm also a big fan of the fuzzy-warm "lessons" and the snappy dialogue (Hey, a "Can't we all just get along" TV show never really hurt anyone, ya know?), but the music...

Music was always big in our home. Between Mom blasting out country and classic rock every day, and Dad telling us what was and wasn't "approved" music for us kids to listen to, somewhere between the total abandoning love my mother had for music and the dictator-like stance my father constantly approached it with, all five of us learned to appreciate not just music in the most general of terms, but to develop a critical ear for which styles we loved, hated, as well as loved to hate...

While I "love to hate" a lot of top forty, my heart holds a special place for dance music (but not electronica) and folksy-rock (and so the marriage of polar opposites is complete in my soul...), and this was just one of those songs that made me stop and go "Whoa! Great song!"

Life is so fleeting, so fragile, so precious. It's one of the reasons I get snarky about people like Sarah Palin, who think they have a right to tell others how to live their lives. It's the reason I have such issues with fundamentalism. It's the reason I love life and hope that others find love and joy in this experience as well.

When a persons' soul existence is to not only live by a bunch of rules "just because _____" (God said so, my pastor said so, my parents said so...), but to then decide everyone else should live by their scared and very very afraid view of life and the world around them, I get angry. Life isn't meant to be lived in a bubble, it isn't meant to be posted on a piece of paper all starting with "Don't do _____," and it certainly isn't meant to be dictated by another's sense of right and wrong...

Life is meant to be lived. That includes the mistakes we all make, the "lack of imagination" we all experience daily, the forging of paths we know others have taken, just less often than most...

Life is short, death is certain, and taxes are a pain in the ass. Happiness is fleeting, but happiness is also a choice. I believe this to be true more so than I believe in picking a book based on its cover (after all, if the author and editor can't think of something both pleasing and creative, how pleasing and creative could the book possibly be?--I know, I probably just lost credit from a lot of you...).

When someone comes along and says "You must do such-and-such," or "You mustn't do this-and-that," one must consider both the source and the reasoning behind the rule being espoused.

Music was the choice my father tried to take away from us (banning certain radio stations and such) while my mother played anything with a steel guitar (or a fiddle) with wild abandon...

Life is like music. Different instruments, different rhythms, different styles speak to all sorts of different people. And saying everyone must live their lives by "It Is Well with My Soul"?

That's a life killer. (And yes, that title was picked for a reason...)

If treating your neighbor like yourself is supposed to be the number two rule, why do so many fundamentalists spend their time trying to make their neighbors act like themselves...?

Think about it...

And while you do that, put in something soul-stirring to you, and don't begrudge someone who chooses Alice-in-Chains and seems to be enjoying themselves...

And feel blessed to be a witness to their joy in their choice. Their happiness. Their life.

Counting your blessings means more than just counting your life...