You see, a recent game of “Which would you rather” in the
morning somehow got turned into a “Have you seen this crap!” and thus, a
coworker recently pointed me to another coworker’s blog, where the heavy-handed
“I’m more moral than the world” coupled with the “I’m so humble in Jesus”
monologues made me want to gag, vomit, commit suicide, and drop nuke’s on every
major religious center in the world—
Scratch that—it made me want to drop nukes on even the minor
religious centers.
I do try my best to withhold judgment when people make
off-handed comments in my general direction, like “Jesus helped me do this,” or
“I know God’s watching over me because of blah blah blah”;
seriously, I say nothing most times, just smile and nod like I’m one of the
sheep who checked his brain at the door to life and thinks angels are dancing
all around me with swords flying to keep Satan and his minions at bay from
causing me to commit one type of sin or another…
Sigh…
I try to be a live-and-let-live dude, what with the mass of
brain-dead zombies that inhabit even the most liberal locations of where I
live. Add to the fact that most of my family, and my partner, have religious
and spiritual inclinations, I’m pretty well versed in the mumbo-jumbo, the
beliefs, the practices, the voodoo. So, in the name of tolerance, I will
sometimes make an observation, delicately-put depending on the audience, or sometimes
outright laugh, also depending on the audience…
But overall, I’m highly disappointed in you, human race…
One of the more common arguments I hear from the windbag types
is, “Well, you can’t see the wind—how do you know it’s there? All you can see
is the effects! So Ha!” (As if such a mind-numbingly
silly argument came from the lips of God hisself into their ears… Which is
funny, because I’m feeling the effects of all the hot air they’re spewing when
making this claim, but there it is…) If you can’t figure out
why this is such a weak, silly, and all-around
stupid argument, I’ll not bother to educate you. Suffice it
to say, if you’ve ever considered this argument to be a firm tenant in your
belief system, you have bigger problems than just believing in sky daddies and
angel fairies… Suffice it to say that it hints to the notion (okay,
okay, outright screams to the notion) that you
somehow think wind is magical and supernatural… And I can only hope you realize
how silly a position that is…
I can only hope you also realize that, when the apocalypse does
come and the zombies do take over, you’ll only have to look
at the closest standing religious center to find out where the infection
started. (There’s a reason they hafta eat brains—their god(s) took
theirs away…)
Fact of the matter is, anytime you are going to believe in
something that cannot be seen, measured, tested, or even just plain logical,
you may as well just do us all a favor and remove yourself from both the mating
pool and the voting masses…
Knowing you exist out there really makes me think the Constitution
should be amended to read “We the intelligent people…,” with a special clause
regulating the rest of you to speed bump duty… Which, of course, will be
unnecessary once my hover-stang is perfected. And when such a time arrives, you’ll
be reassigned to coat-rack duty, assuming that global warming has been
corrected by that time (and it will be, because the idiots will have been
spayed and neutered and busy being coat racks…), and that sometime,
somewhere, we the intelligent people will sometimes need to wear a coat due to
the chilly “magical” wind…
