French: The Language of Love, the Language of the Devil!

Just when you think we've gotten past the stupid shit from the eighties... You know, things like, "Play the record backward and you'll hear 'I love Satan and Satan loves me!'" or "Madonna is the new anti-Christ!" (Did you know you can listen to "Like A Prayer" on the local soft-rock station now? Perhaps it lost its Satanic power when Madonna became a Kabalist...) you read something so stupid and so ridiculous, you have to wonder if it's all just in the communion water. I mean really, get these excerpts!:

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One of Lady Gaga’s songs on YouTube has drawn 223,934,322 hits (as of Thursday, 06-10-10). [...] Lady Gaga is just another lost soul that has sold herself to Satan for a short time of power and success. The name of this popular song is “Bad Romance” and it is clear that she is singing of the devil. The lyrics begin with her singing in strange ramblings. I believe the devil means the strange words as a blasphemy against the Holy Ghost and the tongue of fire we see in Acts on the Day of Pentecost.
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I believe that she is singing in the tongues of fallen angels. Some of the lyrics of this song are sung in French, other lines do not translate. If she is singing in a version of tongues, then every spirit of Satan understands her and incredible powers of evil are communicated. That is the reason for her huge success. We had better learn the truth of Satan’s powers as we approach the end.
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Recently, a dear soul called me with a question that describes how far from God the church world has fallen. The minister of this person’s church was claiming to have had sex with the Holy Ghost. Of course, this was a demon masquerading as the Holy Spirit. This is believed by many to be exactly what happened in Noah’s Day.

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Really? I mean, seriously, REALLY?! People believe this shit! Lady Gaga sings to Satan, ministers are having sex with demons pretending to be the Holy Spirit, and French is only a partial glance into the secret language of the fallen angels. (Apparently Pig Latin had been taken by the talking snakes, so Satan and gang started with French and added things "that don't translate" from there...)

Although I'm wondering--if the minister had married the demon first, would it have then been okay to have sex with it? And, since god made angels (and, as every good fundamentalist bible-believing, literal interpretation reading Christian knows, demons are nothing more then angels who no longer live in lala land with god...), and angels have been made genderless--how exactly did this pastor have sex with this demon who was into role-play? Do angels and demons have orifices for such use, and if so, why? And was it a boy-part-bearing angel, or a girl-part-bearing angel, or something in between? What were the parts made of, Play-Doh? It couldn't have been dust, man was made from dust... Ah, Bible, don't fail me now! Answer me!!!! WHY DID GOD GIVE MEN HAVE NIPPLES IF MEN DON'T BREAST FEED?!?!

But I digress... God obviously originally planned to have men do the breast-feeding before he made Eve and decided she would be better at it, and Play-Doh is a tool of the devil to draw young minds in early...

This "pastor" (who has obviously donated his brain to the afterlife long before his body has gotten there as he apparently doesn't need and/or use it...) is "Pastor" Joseph Chambers, of (surprise, surprise!) the bible belt, and apparently has a congregation! (Proof that people are willing to listen to just about anything or anybody if it means they don't have to think! Perhaps part of becoming a church member also means donating their brains to the afterlife before the body as well?) Even scarier, these zombies donate enough money and time to the "pastor" that he's able to have a web site, acquire guest speakers--hell, they even have a school!

And this is the crap being taught to those children... Sad, really...

I wonder if the video of the pastor/angel (Oops! Sorry, I meant pastor/"demon"!) sex-capade is on YouTube?