Monday, June 7, 2010

Christian Disposal...

I stared at her. I could tell she was up to no good when she caught my attention only because she looked like an ex-coworker I had no interest in speaking to. She was staring at the back of my car as I stared at her from inside the physical therapy waiting room. I was hoping it was just because my Mustang is just such a sweet-looking car, and perhaps the jealousy and envy is what caused her to stop and stare at it with obvious consternation.

I saw reach into her purse and walk around to the passenger side. I put down the magazine and leaned forward in the blue-floral pattern chair that seemed to be a staple of all waiting rooms in the Lehigh Valley. My first thought was she was going to try to reach through the open windows and steal some CDs. I watched as she glanced around herself in all directions, that "Make sure no one is watching" head rotation. Then, almost as if she were a pro Frisbee athlete, tossed something through the open passenger side window, and started speed-walking away. I leaped up from my seat, startling the receptionist who after six weeks was quite used to my sedentary ways in her waiting room, and slammed through both double glass doors.

Me: Hey! What the hell are you doing throwing shit in my car?!
Lady: Wha-- Huh?
Me: What the fuck are you doing throwing shit in my CAR!
Lady: Oh, I-- I am so sorry, I meant no harm, it was just a business card--
Me: A what?
Lady: A business card, I-- I'm so sorry, I meant no harm.
Me: A business card for what?
Lady: Well, here, let me hand you one...

Lady: Do you have a minute?
Me: (I glanced at the back of the card and saw the word "God" six or seven times...) No, I do not have a minute. Good day.
Lady: Wait--do you forgive me? Please? I meant no harm, honestly.
Me: You seriously need to rethink your methods, lady.
Lady: I do, I do! Every day I ask God to show me--
Me: Yeah, save it. Listen, I "forgive" you (and yes, I did use air quotes...), but I need to get back inside to my husband and--
Lady: Gasp!
Me: --then... Oh, please, like the rainbow sticker didn't give it away?
Lady: I, uh--
Me: Listen, take your misleading "business card," and beat it, and don't be littering on other people's personal property. I'm quite sure it's not something Jesus would be doing, okay? Thank you.
Lady: Thanks for forgiving me!
Me: Get stuffed.
And yes, that image is of the actual "business card" so carelessly tossed into my car. It was purchased from Ray Comfort's web site--you remember him from this post where he commented (or at least the commenter claimed he was Ray Comfort...), but it really boils down to the fact that he's a charlatan of the worst kind... After your money in the guise of caring for your soul.

Of course, it seems this lady isn't the only one who casually throws these cards around like used tissues. One person commented on the web site, "These business card tracts are cool because you can keep them in your wallet and hand them to people like you are handing them your card. I also like the fact that the message on the back is to be verbally read out loud. I like to place them in smoking areas outside of bars and nightclubs."

Ugh. I hate litter bugs...

3 comments:

Kel said...

Okay, so who's the ex co-worker? Hmmm.

Wow, they're getting brazen. And desperate. I really enjoyed your exchange with her. However, I wouldn't have forgiven her. Littering IS a serious offense, you know.

Oh, and what does counting P's have to do with God?

journeys428 said...

Ha!ha! I think it is hilarious you caught her and I enjoyed the dialog. I wonder if she has a 'cars with a rainbow sticker' ministry.

Ray Comfort makes my skin crawl. My family was involved in a religious cult and he was featured as a main speaker occasionally. Quite a circus he and that buddy have going!

journeys428 said...

Ha!ha! I think it is hilarious you caught her and I enjoyed the dialog. I wonder if she has a 'cars with a rainbow sticker' ministry.

Ray Comfort makes my skin crawl. My family was involved in a religious cult and he was featured as a main speaker occasionally. Quite a circus he and that buddy have going!