Lunch boxes, coats, gloves, scarves, hats... I still lose these things, a little too regularly for my ease of mind... I still haven't seen my Rehobeth Beach baseball cap since about mid-summer... I'm no longer seven but I lose things just as quickly, if not more so as I no longer have other adults reminding me about such things!
Mom: Well, when did you see it last?
Me: (shrug) I dunno... (shuffle my feet, stare at the ground)
Mom: Did you have it at lunch time?
Me: Yeeeeess....
Mom: And then what did you do with it?
Me: I dunno... (more shuffling...)
Mom: Did you ask your teacher if it had been turned in to the lost and found?
Me: Yeeeeess....
Mom: I don't know what I'm going to do with you...
Like today, at lunch time, I was supposed to call this guy about a sink and toilet I had purchased through Craigslist. But what was I doing? Who knows! It completely left my mind that this was something that needed to be done. I just left the guy a message on his cell profusely apologizing for my forgetfulness. Even as I type this, I've sent an email to my work email to remind me to call him and had Rich place a Post-It on the front door where I can't miss it tomorrow morning when I leave for work.
At work alone, I have several dozen Post-Its at various places around my work station to remind me of the stupidest things, and why? I have the attention span of a kitten on crack, that's why.
Granted, over the years I've learned some tricks: whenever I'm working on a project, I keep all tools directly at my feet--not on the nearest surface, not in my pockets, not generally tossed about the nether regions of my immediate area; when I come home from work, keys and wallet and jacket go directly on the left-hand corner of the coffee table and remain there (well, until Beaux arrived they stayed there...); when I am making a meal, all utensils and pots and pans and ingredients stay on the dishwasher surface until all cooking is completed (lest I run out of spoons and forks before the meal is even ready to be eaten!); I only buy bright-orange lighters so they are easily seen when lying on any given surface; and so on and so forth.
But I still lose things. I haven't seen a flat-head screw driver in this house in at least a year, even though I had a whole matching blue-handled set two Christmas's ago. My copy of For the Bible Tells Me So has been missing for at least three years. And my copy of Extreme's Pornograffiti? I just replaced it at a Yard Sale to replace the copy I'd lost eons ago for $1, begged from the same mother who banished me from ever owning a lunch box after first grade...
I learned to make do with the brown bagged lunches (although truth be told some days I starved as I sometimes managed to lose even those before lunch even started!), to stick my hands deep deep deep into my denim pockets every time a pair of my gloves went off globe-trotting without my consent, to pretend I didn't want to mess up my hair when the real reason was I had no idea where my hat had gotten to...
I can only hope the gentlemen who sold me the toilet and sink didn't get pissed off at my forgetfulness and resell them...
But this is exactly why my mother stopped buying me lunch boxes...
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