Money for Nothing (And the Chicks for Free!)

People annoy me.

Perhaps I should clarify: People en masse annoy me. We're talking in groups (whether real or imagined) when they invade or otherwise infringe upon my life in such a way as to come across as nothing but no-good money-grubbing hussies...

BACK STORY: I had an idea. A brilliant idea. Well, brilliant in my life. Many other people have been there/done that with this idea, but it was a first for our household and so it was met with a smattering of applause and the congenial congratulatory grin. I advertised our big yard sale of the Labor Day weekend on Craigslist. (I know, I know, please hold your applause...) I tried to be concise, detailed, and list the yard sale complete with directions on how to find my place, as well as include as many items in the description as I possible could--after all, I'm trying to get people to come and purchase my items, am I not? It's not like I'm asking them to just show up and hand me money for nothing!

What I didn't expect was a horde of emails asking for more details! "I'm interested in this!"; "Can you tell me more about this?"; "What do you mean by this?" Now generally I don't mind these types of questions--seriously! I feel a lot like one of those doors made by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation: "Thanks for asking! Glad to be of help! Here's your info! Have a great day!" That sort of thing. Creates a general sense of a day well spent ensuring that I will have some sales, you know?

But then--and I'm not sure who these people are, but apparently they wake up around 8:00 am on Wednesdays with the sheer goal of annoying the crap out of me--they started emailing. It started as a trickle, but by 9:00 I had to edit my craigslist ad to read: "Stop asking questions, just show up on Saturday!" (More politely than that, of course, though not by much...) They were saying things like, "Can you not put that out and hold it for me until next week?"; "Do you have such-and-such on DVD?"; "Can you send me a list of the CDs you'll be selling at the yard sale?"

?????????

At first I thought these emails were some kind of joke, a whole hazing ritual for the craigslist community. I imagined the guys at the main office giggling to themselves saying, "Hehe! I just asked him to list all the CDS he's going to sell, Haha!" Except they kept coming! And coming! At 9:45 am this morning, I had 23 emails from people asking about something or other that I had either mentioned or omitted in my craigslist ad! (Yes, someone hinted that not saying what types of clothes would be available seemed to her like a "glaring omission"!)

I realize the economy is in "not-so-great" shape. But it's a YARD SALE people! Show up! Browse! Look through things! That's HALF the FUN of YARD SALING! I realize people have needs and are trying to find things on the cheap to meet those needs, but...

Jeez! It's almost as if they not only expect a bargain, but that I should just put in a drive-up window: "Yes, I'll take 2 pairs of Levis, that rubber duck, and... Let's see, you said you had Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits? That as well."

I'm hoping all this grief isn't for nothing...