Thursday, July 16, 2009

"That Cake's in the Shape of..."


Blanche: Why, Rose, that cake's in the shape of--
Dorothy: We know what it is, Blanche...
Rose: I thought it was in the shape of Florida!
It seems we've begun telling people now... Thank god! There's nothing I hate more than being censored...

Well, perhaps we haven't told you in person, yet, dear reader, but if you have my number, feel free to call me and we'll discuss it, but first, as I hate despise loathe talking on the phone, first hear me out here--can you do that for me?

In one year, we will be selling our home and moving to Florida. Yes, Florida, the state shaped like... Well, you know...

But that's not why we're moving there--that's just icing... :)

You see, for some strange reason, the brother's Rich and Mike (husband and brother-in-law respectively) harbor not-so-secret passionate desires to live in the Sunshine State--I don't get it, but that's beside the point. For as long as I've known Rich, he's always not only desired, but passionately advocated for Florida as a possible living destination.

If you know me, you know one thing for certain--I am not a beach person. I am, however, a person who loves life, and after about a month of debate and the plop of seven new green things landing on my desk with the cursory, "These are for next week..." Well, as I stared at the half of my desk that is shaped a lot like Florida and the large pile of papers that had just been deposited, I realized that at-home persuasion wasn't necessarily needed any more...

Change was needed...

When I heard that Plop! on the fake wood laminate of my humble office, it was as if the weight of the decision just up and left. Does that mean in still won't be hard? Of course not. I'll be leaving behind all of my siblings, my parents, the nieces and nephs, and friends whom I love just as dearly as the blood coursing through my family's veins... But although I love my family and friends so dearly...

And it may sound harsh, my dear reader, but please don't think less of me for saying what so many others think...

There's more to life than living near your family... (Well, there'll be no taking that back once I hit "publish"...)

There is an entire Earth here waiting to be experienced! To be looked at, enjoyed, explored...! A whole planet! And I've barely seen most of the east side of Pennsylvania! Sure, there was that two-year stint in West Virginia... Not that it counts too much, it was for bible college after all... With my few years in the military, I got a dash of Missouri ("Misery" is more like it!), a touch of Jersey, and a smattering of Texas... A whiff of Ohio, Michigan, and North Carolina also blipped on the radar a handful of times, but they were really more drive-bys, you know?

Rich's reasons are totally different, mind you. He's always fancied himself a beach bunny, wanting to get a nice even tan, wearing ugly Hawaiian shirts, large Jackie-O type sunglasses--not that he does those things now, mind you, but one can just sort of glimpse at Ms. Cleo's crystal ball and get a rough idea of the fashion faux pas I might be in for... I'm hoping with me by his side, we might just avoid the worst of it...

Well, I did say "Might"...

Of course, the first few days of thinking this over, I was quite a nervous wreck, but then it all started coming into focus, and now I'm feeling just the slightest bit Zen about the whole thing. Figuring out new ways to garden... Never shoveling snow again, or wrestling with the coal stove, Disney at my back door, hardly a day all year that goes below 65 degrees, and--well, this is the real happy thought of the moment--I, Mr. Jason Hughes, born January 14, in 19__ can have a fucking POOL PARTY in the MIDDLE of FUCKING WINTER!!!!

Now, don't misunderstand, dear reader--nothing is set in stone. After all, who knows what the future holds! ("Call me now, Ms. Cleo!!") But the ball has started rolling. A list has been drawn up of all the things that need fixed before selling this place. A long list of web sites have been saved, neighborhood searches are being done, realtor.com has been visited more than once...

And let's not forget, there's the shape of the state to consider...

There's something invigorating about this decision: a new place to live, new neighborhoods to explore, new foods to try, new cultures and subcultures to learn about... I almost feel like I did before I left for basic training... Nervous, excited, scared, giddy... I was the first one to move out of our home growing up... The first one to go to another state for college. The first one to move north of Pottstown... (The real kicker is I'm not even the oldest!) But I've never really been too afraid to try new things and new places--just scared enough (which I think is a bit healthy) to be cautious (hence the flurry of web searching going on) but excited enough to not over-think it too long...

I think...

As I said, nothing is set in stone... But wheels are moving, gears are grinding...

We're going to be moving to Florida... Not that I'm telling work that yet--after all, until things are set in stone, there's really no need to rock the boat (hint, hint, fellow co-workers who venture over here now and then...)

But until then, I get to stare at that half of my desk shaped like...

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