Thursday, December 4, 2008

You Know How It Is...

... when you read a blog, then follow a link... then follow another link, read something else, click here, click there...

And you end up coming across something like this:


It took me about five minutes to stop laughing!

Now think about it--given the gihoondous number of "land animals" we know of, do you honestly think that they all fit on Noah's wooden flotation device? Never minding the fact that they must have been expert Animal Containment Specialists™ (ACS's), that long-lost ancient art so revered in biblical times... I mean, Noah lived to be what--600 years old? Plenty of time to figure out the best way to stack earth worms on turkeys on hippos on T-rex's... Not to mention the magic behind keeping them from eating one another!

Or perhaps, due to national security concerns at the time, Noah was only allowed dinosaurs that could fit in a 3-ounce bottle as a carry-on? That would certainly limit the "kinds" and sizes of dinosaur Noah could rescue from extinction! Lord knows I only get my travel-size dino's at Target--usually only when on sale (economic crisis and all...). Or maybe Noah hid them in cans of shaving cream á la Jurassic Park? Perhaps Ken Ham has some of those on display at the Creation "Museum," eh? I imagine that sign would read something like:

"Even more reasonably-sized 'kinds' of dinosaur
traveled with Noah in these Babylonian aluminum
barrels labeled 'Gillette,' which Bible archaeologists
have determined is Hebrew for Stego-pony-saurus."


Did you catch that on the sign? "Reasonably small"? One pictures Noah standing there with a tape measure next to one of those "You must be THIS SHORT to ride this ride" signs, pointing at it angrily while staring up at the rather large Brachiosaurus and saying, "Aren't there any of you more reasonably sized? This isn't the QE 2, ya know!"

Ah, creationists... Well, you know how it is...

10 comments:

mom said...

hello jason! you know noah could of just taken on baby animals or the teenager kind that is not to to big yet. if God created it He can do what He wanted. who knows how He did it. when i see how tiny some animals are when they are born you could really stack alot in the ark. it was not a vacation for them all so it was close but you are leaving out the supernatural powers of God and with the small sizes of the animals you can get it alot in. and who knows how many different animals that were on earth than. the measurements for the ark was pretty big if i remember right. now if you do just a measurement blog i will not understand it since i need to have it compared to something about the same size. you know your mom is not a whiz when it comes to numbers. :) so you should do a blog saying how big the ark was. :) maybe even you will start to believe than. :) love and prayers

Kel said...

You know, Jay, it's an improvement that they are even acknowledging the existence of dinosaurs!

Of course, we all know that scientists have fabricated the large skeletons (NOT small ones) of the dinosaurs because they obviously just like to mess with people, especially those who believe in evolution. Those rascals!

What's funny is that we have found evidence of dinosaurs, but Noah's huge ark is nowhere to be found!

Thanks for passing that funny link on to us.

Sylvia said...

'Gillette,' which Bible archaeologists
have determined is Hebrew for Stego-pony-saurus."
- huh? isn't that interesting... I wonder how a dinosaur shaped "gillette" razor will fit in John's stocking this year...
LOL maybe I oughtta think about bigger Christmas stockings...ya think?

Anonymous said...

Anything below this first two sentences, I did not write. I found this today on the internet:

How big was Noah’s Ark?
Quick-read this article:
Noah's Ark was taller than a 3-story building and had a deck area the size of 36 lawn tennis courts. Its length was 300 cubits (450 feet, or 135 meters); its width was 50 cubits (75 feet, or 22.5 meters); it had three stories and its height was 30 cubits (45 feet, or 13.5 meters).


Noah's Ark was huge! If you wrongly imagine the Ark looked like some of those little cartoon boats in children's story books, with a couple of elephants' trunks and giraffes' necks sticking out the top, think again.

Genesis 6:15 in the Bible tells us the Ark's dimensions were at least 135 meters long (300 cubits), 22.5 meters wide (50 cubits), and 13.5 meters high (30 cubits). That's 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high! It could have been larger, because several larger-sized cubits were used. But the 45-centimeter (18-inch) cubit is long enough to show the enormous size of the Ark.

(A cubit was the length of a man's arm from fingertips to elbow.)

Higher than a 3-story building!
Noah's Ark was three stories high (Genesis 6:16). Its total deck area was equivalent to the area of about 20 standard college basketball courts or 36 lawn tennis courts. The world had to wait until AD 1884 before the Ark's size was exceeded, when the Italian liner Eturia was built.

The rectangular dimensions of the Ark show an advanced design in ship-building. Its length of six times its width and 10 times its height would have made it amazingly stable on the ocean. Remember it was made more for floating than sailing, because it wasn't headed anywhere. The Ark was made to withstand a turbulent ocean voyage, not to be at a certain place at a certain time.

Recent thought on the Ark's design is that it could have had a slightly tapered top at the front and back, instead of being squared off. But the famous rock formation near Mount Ararat with pointed ends, which some think is Noah's Ark, is definitely not!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PSZNYdfawQ

you might be interested in seeing this video.

Anonymous said...

http://www.biblestudy.org/basicart/sizeark.html

Anonymous said...

Just something I was curious about. When you have children say one of them decides to follow Christianity and such. How do you think you would be? I mean I know you cann't know exactly hw you would feel till you have children . But just soemthing I was curious about. Do you think you would support your child? Or do you think you would do anything you could to persuade him/her not to believe ??

Jason Hughes said...

Kel: You make a good point--it was only about 20 to 30 years ago they were still claiming Satan put all those big bones in the dirt! LOL!

To all Anonymous's: I haven't forgotten about you all, and I promise that, after the New Year, I'll get to all of your little "facts" about the ark and the gaping holes in your thought processes...

To the last Anonymous: I would like to think I'd treat my child with the same respect and love I treat most of my believing friends and family. As long as they aren't claiming that their beliefs should trump everyone else's rights to life, liberty, and freedom, they entitled to believe pink unicorns fly out of our asses every night to battle evil trolls under Interstate bridges. It doesn't mean we won't have our discussions and debates (as me and the family do quite often and still manage to consider each other friends and enjoy one another's company), but ultimately I wouldn't care one wit what my kid believes as long as they were a decent, kind, loving, and respectful human being.

Anonymous said...

Very well said!!! Thanks for your comment!

Anonymous said...

Anything below this first two sentences, I did not write. I found this today on the internet:

How big was Noah’s Ark?
Quick-read this article:
Noah's Ark was taller than a 3-story building and had a deck area the size of 36 lawn tennis courts. Its length was 300 cubits (450 feet, or 135 meters); its width was 50 cubits (75 feet, or 22.5 meters); it had three stories and its height was 30 cubits (45 feet, or 13.5 meters).


Noah's Ark was huge! If you wrongly imagine the Ark looked like some of those little cartoon boats in children's story books, with a couple of elephants' trunks and giraffes' necks sticking out the top, think again.

Genesis 6:15 in the Bible tells us the Ark's dimensions were at least 135 meters long (300 cubits), 22.5 meters wide (50 cubits), and 13.5 meters high (30 cubits). That's 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high! It could have been larger, because several larger-sized cubits were used. But the 45-centimeter (18-inch) cubit is long enough to show the enormous size of the Ark.

(A cubit was the length of a man's arm from fingertips to elbow.)

Higher than a 3-story building!
Noah's Ark was three stories high (Genesis 6:16). Its total deck area was equivalent to the area of about 20 standard college basketball courts or 36 lawn tennis courts. The world had to wait until AD 1884 before the Ark's size was exceeded, when the Italian liner Eturia was built.

The rectangular dimensions of the Ark show an advanced design in ship-building. Its length of six times its width and 10 times its height would have made it amazingly stable on the ocean. Remember it was made more for floating than sailing, because it wasn't headed anywhere. The Ark was made to withstand a turbulent ocean voyage, not to be at a certain place at a certain time.

Recent thought on the Ark's design is that it could have had a slightly tapered top at the front and back, instead of being squared off. But the famous rock formation near Mount Ararat with pointed ends, which some think is Noah's Ark, is definitely not!