Wednesday, October 8, 2008

This Is Not for the Birds...

I gave a dog a reference today. No, seriously! Okay, well maybe not so seriously...

However, a very dear friend of mine is in the "looking-for-a-dog" business, and recently went to Pet Finder to find the puppy of her dreams.

So the lady calls me up, and it goes something like this:

Lady: Hi, can I speak to Jason?
Me: Speaking.
Lady: Hi, my name is [something forgettable], and I'm calling in regards to a puppy [who shall not be named] to be adopted by [a friend]? She gave us your name as a reference.
Me: Oh, sure, yeah. Well, [babble, babble, babble]
Lady: Oh, that sounds wonderful. What else can you tell me?
Me: Well... er... what were you looking for?
Lady: Well, since she filled out our application, there really isn't much we don't know, but what can you just tell us generally about her?
Me: (Isn't that what my five minute babble was about?) Well, she also... [babble, babble, babble]
Lady: Well, I think this is going to be one lucky puppy! Thank you for your time, Jason!
Me: Uh, your welcome. Bye.
And then I thought about it.

I'm sure I made her sound too good to be true, yet I know I didn't say anything that wasn't true. Well, except for the fact that after the phone call, I found out her one fish--who lived to the ripe old age of nine--is dead. Has been for two weeks. Let's hope they don't do a follow-up home visit and ask to see said-spoiled fish. Something tells me they won't fall for the "Oh, he's just playing dead" line... On a happier note, I did manage to avoid key phrases such as "temperamental bitch," "Chief Satanic-Sacrifice Procurer," and "Cruela deVille-type," so I think she should be good.

But then I thought, "There really isn't much they don't know?" Do they have some type of "secret service" with which they put your home, your family, your life under surveillance? Do a criminal back ground check? Put you on the stand to give a deposition?

Okay, I suppose I can understand the criminal back ground check. After all, no one wants to rescue a dog only to hand it back to Michael Vick, right? What would be the point?

But there are--literally--hundreds of dogs and cats that need homes. Not all of them will get one. So what's with all the hoopla? Do you really think someone who wants a dog for fighting is going to call an agency and risk getting caught lying just to get a dog? They may be stupid for being criminals, but that doesn't mean they are stupid at being criminals...

What's worse is I decided to check out the web site for myself and immediately fell in love with at least three dogs that need homes.... Sigh...

Not only would the hubby kill me--after all, Hawthorne + Mary-who-we've-been-babysitting-open-endedly-for-three-months (not that I'm complaining!) each eat their weight in dog food every day! And Hawthorne never gains any freakin' weight! (The bastard!--that whole thing about animals looking like their master's is bunk!) Add in a Husky named Ella, a Jack Russell mix named Feisty, and a Norfolk Terrier named Lucky?

I had to stop looking before I did something the husband would regret...

But as I gently remind him that Hawthorne may still act like he's six months old, he is actually eight, and won't be around forever, I remember why loving a pet is a double-edged sword. The pain of losing these unconditionally loving friends...

Sigh. Well, when Mary does return to her actual owner (which I'm not looking forward to...) and Hawthorne once again throws a temper tantrum at losing his one-woman harem, I will begin the search for that perfect puppy once again...

And I know where I'll probably start looking...

Into the warm, soft, furry eyes of a dog...

2 comments:

Sylvia said...

I massage a client on a regular basis. She just loves animals. Recently, she saved a german shepherd from an Amish puppy mill. This german shepherd was locked in a rabbit's cage for 2 years, and beaten regularly.
So, did you know that the german shepherd has the highest bite rate over any dog, including pitbulls?
I have a feeling that I'll be massaging one less limb next time I see my client.
On a lighter note... you'll get another pup after Mary goes back. I know you'll miss her. But, think about the new things you can teach your own special little puppy...
Love ya Ja.
Red

mom said...

hello jason! i think maybe you should keep mary and give michael a whole new dog. :) that way hawthorne does not have to get use to a new puppy. michael like you can fall in love with a new dog and mary will not feel like a pawn in moving back and forth. this sounds like someone is divorcing someone else with mary moving back and forth. :) maybe petfinder can find some laws that you can't be doing this to pets going back and forth. than again i think some of these animal right people can go a bit far in the right of animal stuff. they treat the animals better than humans. i love my animals but i do think this calling up about if you can take care of an animal is a bit stupid. we all should worry about people like some worry about our animals. its like the report i heard that some of these animal right people want to use mothers breast milk instead of cows milk in ben and jerrys ice cream. do they understand anything about cows and milking?!? AND why are they trying to mess with my ice cream! i would not eat ice cream that is from some human breast! who knows what they ate or took! at least i know a cow does not use drugs and than lies about it or who knows what else us humans do that animals don't. well, anyway, i am going to close since i am on a small soap box. cute story and very very cute picture of my granddogs but i would talk to michael about keeping mary and giving michael and shannon a house warming gift with a new puppy. i know when i had to leave my shyanne with others when we lived in the apartment i thought about giving her up a few times since i did not think it was fair to sylvia or shyanne. well, it all worked out. love and prayers