Monday, July 14, 2008

"What You Need is a Good Haunting!"

So says my mother at least once a month, usually as an inevitable observation ending a disagreement over god the father, Jesus the son, or Holy Casper the ne'er-do-well. As if the appearance of Scrooge were in any way proof of a god who's supposed to send people to the penthouse or the oven upon completion of this earthly domain...

On a recent excursion up to the Pocono-laden sanctuary of all who hold Jesus so dear, we had a lovely dinner (as the 10 hours of heartburn afterward can attest) and then proceeded to get down to the general catching-up of our weekends (they with my run-away dog, me with a trip to Maryland), and Sylvia, the red-headed goddess of all that is massage (and one of two blood-sisters) screamed, "Wait! Mom! You have to see this picture I took! There's a ghost!"

No, seriously...

So Sylvia whips out the tried-and-true ghost-busting device that Peter Venkman used to find Slimer and proceeded to declare to all the world that this undeniable proof was all she needed to believe! (Okay, maybe not in so many words, but about that passionately!). Mom is ever ready to believe, of course, and says "Oh! Let me see!"

Enter a five-minute dissection of the photo as to where the ghost actually resided...

No, seriously...

The picture in question which holds the unadulterated proof is here:


Well, you know how these cell pics are... You can only get so big a photo, you know? Luckily, ghosts know no such pixel restraint...

What? You don't see the ghost? Here, let me up the resolution... Change the color spectrum.... counter-point the surrealism of the underlying metaphor...

And tada!:



In all honesty, I didn't see him either until I added some of the ingenious tools employed by the Area 51 employees (I have a man on the inside), but some people just have that "second sight," you know? It's amazing his uncanny resemblance to Rock Hudson, don’t ya think?

Now that would be a good haunting...

3 comments:

Kel said...

You know, I always sort of believed in ghosts and wanted to believe, so I get where your mom is coming from. But then I had to go and ruin it by watching some show on Discovery (that's a TELEVISION CABLE CHANNEL, Jason) that basically went through every possible "sighting" and "proof" of ghosts and showed how it's all fake. So now I basically don't believe in them. (It's kind of like you and the bible--ha!) Although I think it's an interesting idea.

Oh, let me state for the record that I don't want to see a ghost in person, in case some ghost reads this and is agitated by me.

:)

mom said...

hello jason! you do need a good haunting! you crazy kid! you also need some more heartburn. that will fix ya! :) and kelly those discovery programs i think talk to jason first before they film and thats why they disprove these ghost. :) well, anyway, those cell pictures just don't do it for me since i can bearly see anything on those things. i like those old fashion pictures we use to have that you can pull out of an envelope and you don't have to find your glasses to see. :) i still think i see the ghost on the picture you have posted. not where sylvia thinks. more in the middle. :) i am glad you found something to blog about after visiting your wonderful family here. :) i still say you need a good haunting. :) love and prayers

Sylvia said...

Listen Ja... I'm was laughing so hard that I was freakin' crying again. Thanks so much for making me cry...
Anyway, as mom says, those cell phone pics don't do it. But, I did see a misty type form in the pic and I thought maybe it was a little weird... now, perhaps it wasn't a "ghost" but later on that day, John (the all time skeptic of skeptics) swore that on that very same property of the unexplained mist - that he too saw something strange in one of the windows of an otherwise abandoned house. Take it from what you will...
but I had a great time with you guys on Sunday night. rematch at clenmark?