We come home from my younger brothers' surprise 30th birthday party (Yikes!) when Rich turns to me and says, "I have a surprise for you. It's out in the garage."
A surprise? For moi?! I pictured a rototiller for my beautiful flower beds. He'd sprung for the Mantis brand! No, wait--it was a composter! Something I could throw all my scraps in and make lovely piles of compost! Or, wait--could it be a new riding mower? How could we afford that! Perhaps it was an electric riding mower! We'd gone green in all three major lawn-care appliances! I foraged for some clues...
Me: Is it smaller or larger than a bread box?Merriment danced in his eyes as we traveled the yard back to the garage. We walked around to the back side and I peaked... At something large and blue...
Rich: Larger.
Me: Gas, electric, or man-powered?
Rich: Hmm... Could go either gas or man-powered...
Me: (???) Umm... Is it used outdoors or in?
Rich: Out.
Me: Have I ever asked for one?
Rich: No.
Me: (Ooh! Complete surprise!) I see... Is it a color?
Rich: Yes...
Me: Will it stay in the garage?
Rich: Definitely not...
Me: Oh! What is it! What is it?!
Rich: Well, let's go and see!
Large and blue? Oh, it has a handle... Is that a handle? I stared at the two-foot by two-foot blue square for quite some time. Admittedly, it was much larger that that small square of a window, but I was greatly enjoying the suspense.
"Well? Open the door!" So I reached down, whipped open Door #1 and...
Me: What... What is it? (in my defense, the item was up-side-down...)So I've made peace with this unexpected turn of events. I realize, of course, this surprise really wasn't for me, but that's all right. Rich doesn't buy himself many things, and I'm glad he's found something that will give him some nice get-away time (even though I know I'm getting roped into it...) I'll have to learn to like fishing... And hooking worms...
Rich: You don't know?
Me: A... A boat?
Rich: A row boat! And it came with oars!
Me: A... A boat...
Rich: Do you like it? We can go fishing on the lakes, canoing with your parents...
Me: A boat...
Rich: ... and when we go camping we can bring it along... We'll need fishing licenses...
Me: A boat...
Rich: ... but it didn't come with life jackets, so we'll need to stop at Cabela's to pick those up when we get life vests...
Me: A... I'm sorry, what?
Rich: ... I said, and we can get a motor for it, so we don't have to row all the time...
Me: Uh-huh...
Rich: ... and it needs a name.
Me: A name? All ten feet of it? Or just the part where we'll be sitting?
Rich: It's 14 feet.
Me: Uh-huh...
Rich: Oh... You don't like it, do you?
Me: No-no-no-no-no, it's not that I don't like it, it's just--well, you have to admit, it's very unexpected.
Rich: No, no, you don't like it!
Me: No, I do, I do! It's just a surprise is all! I never expected... Well, a boat! It's a boat. We have... a boat.
Rich: So... you aren't mad?
Me: Why would I be mad?
Rich: I bought a boat!
Me: How much did you spend...
Rich: And it came with oars!
Me: How much?
Rich: And it was cheaper than the canoe we got your parents...
Me: It was?
Rich: Yep! (Beaming again...)
Me: Well, then, why would I be mad? We... have... a boat...
Rich: You need to name her.
Me: I need to name him!
Rich: Oh...
Me: It's blue, isn't it?
Rich: Er... yes...
Me: And my car, the riding mower, and the computer are all already named Betsy...
Rich: They are?
Me: Yes, they are... So... A name, a name, a name... We have a frickin' boat.
Rich: You hate it. I knew it!
Me: I'm shocked is all!
Rich: Promise?
Me: Pinkie swear.
We have decided on a name, however: The AnTi-tanic. So small even God couldn't sink it! I suppose I shouldn't make fun. After all, it's in great shape, it came with oars as Rich was way too pleased to point out, and we are surrounded by more lakes and rivers than your average landlubber...
I'm still a bit shocked, though...
We have a frickin' boat...
Captain Sao Feng: All men are drawn to the sea, perilous though it may be.I wonder if this is hubbie's midlife crisis? It's a tad early, but...
We have a frickin' boat...
6 comments:
A boat?
A boat?
AND YOU DON'T HAVE CABLE? Is there something in the water up there or something?!
Con...grats?
hello jason! what a cute blog! :) i know kelly, it is strange to have a boat but no cable! :) but what do you need cable for when you have a boat! :) maybe they will turn it into a tv cabinet in the winter months with pictures taped on the tv screen of the outings of all the lakes they were on during the summer. :) i am looking forward to a outing soon on some lake someplace! maybe we can find a lake with a big tv box with cable at the end of the lake? sounds like something someone will invent now after i said it. :) love and prayers ps we have to come up with a name for the canoe. i have a name for my dream business but no name for the canoe.
Mill worms make GREAT bait...
Can I come along to fish?
;)
As with everything in life, a Simpsons episode covers this topic brilliantly, ya'no were Homer buys Marge a Bowling Ball, and it turns out she's better at bowling than he is.
BTW, I love that line "And it came with oars!" Classic.
Did you name it yet?
We've decided to stick with the AnTi-tanic...
It just seems fitting...
:D Welcome to blogland, emmy!
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