Friday, January 18, 2008

The Russian Glare...

Yesterday, driving home from work in a 1/4" of snow, the radio announcer said, "There are so many accidents to report, it would take too long to read them all. Just remember, go slow, give yourself extra time, the roads are bad!" as he slipped us in to the nth repeat of a song by Finger Eleven.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a 1/4" of snow, and the idiots hit the roads in record numbers, causing my 40 minute commute home to be almost 2 hours... What never ceases to amaze me is how many SUV's and large pickup trucks I see stranded on the sides of Routes 309 and 100 while my rear-wheel drive Mustang cruises on by with nary a wiggle in its fanny...

Morons.

Today, however, almost all the snow had melted (as there was SO MUCH of it to melt!) and the radio announcer said, "No accidents or delays to report just the normal slow spots with the Russian Glare," as we swung into the nth repeat of a song by Beyonce...

Huh?! I immediately pictured a 20-foot-tall Stalin hanging out alongside all the various highways and byways, strong disapproval at the American consumerism he saw rampant around him; Going Godzilla on people's asses as they tried to end Friday on a high note at a local pub, meal with their family, what-have-you; Shouting "Down with Capitalism and Democracy!" in his fur-lined winter hat! I imagined the footage on the 6 o'clock news, the YouTube videos, the sob stories of lost loved one's when Stalin stepped on their car/ate the dog/flossed with their clothesline!

Then I realized: Rush and glare. Rush [hour] and [sun] glare. Not "Russian Glare." "Rush and glare."

Enunciation is key, I suppose. I placed my sun glasses on as I crested the mountain on the way home, at least glad that it was sunlight (not snow) and SUV's (not Russian dictators) I was contending with this Friday evening...

After all, who needs that after a week of work?

2 comments:

DaBich said...

Ha! Glad your Mustang (and your driving skills) are better than the four wheel drive moron's. LOL

Jason Hughes said...

:D It's a gift, what can I say?