Wednesday, February 7, 2007

It's Everywhere...

Creeping through the molding of every window. Whisking through the cracks around the doors. Wafting down from the attic...

It's a "Siberian Front." I'm assuming they got tired of calling every single cold front an "Arctic Front," must have lost it's mass appeal to the sheep of the weather channel...

I'm so fuckin' sick of winter. I hate winter. Who in the world ever decided that people should inhabit places on earth that get this cold? It was 2 degrees last night... TWO FUCKIN' DEGREES!!!! I'd probably be warmer in freakin' Alaska right now!! The jolly frickin' dweeb on the local news station said with abominable joy, "And with the windchill, it feels like -15!!" Shut the hell up, you smiling son-of-a-bitch. The coal stove is roaring, we have wood burning in the fireplace, and the house refuses to get above 60 degrees. I have blankets over every window, stuffed under every door.

Just 20 short days ago, it was in the 60s. "El Nino" had set up shop in the Pacific and for weeks, we had mild, gorgeous temperatures that made me worry my spring bloomers would die when the frost finally came...

But then the frost came... He brought a few friends, apparently Russian, in some sort of snowflake exchange program...

I so need to move to Hawaii. Or the Caribbean somewhere. We (Rich & I, our friends) have discussed buying a communal house in Arizona or New Mexico, land of the hot, even though the current map shows it is also in light blues and purples...

Perhaps Ecuador? Brazil?

I am so looking forward to spring. I stare at my flower catalogs, the bright colors, the dandy colors waving in the nonexistent breeze in their two-dimensional universe. Daffodils, tulips, sunflowers, roses... I imagine what I will order and where I will plant them. Which colors and textures would compliment each other so well, how through the seasons a new flower would grow up to replace one once it is past its blooming season...

And then the wind whips by. The attic doors shudder. The giant behemoth of a fire bush bangs against the kitchen window. The blankets around the windows flutter, and I am reminded of the miserable "Siberian Front" that has invaded my temperate zone...

I want to blame the communists, but that's so 1980s (much like Bush's current propaganda shtick to convince us we're somehow winning a "war on terror"...), I want to blame Canada if only because of the catchy South Park song... I want to blame the rain, and remember when we all thought Milli Vanilli were all that and a bag...

Fuckin' winter...

At least I'll appreciate spring all the more...

6 comments:

JrnyWmn said...

I'm feeling you with winter, I hate to be hot but its a lil bit too cold. Oh and blaming the Communists, and Canada never gets old (especially with a nice song lol) Oh and I'm convinced that we are winning the war on terror, its just a war in a parallel universe.

Darkmind said...

Dude, you need some rolls of fluffy pink fiberglass!

mom said...

hello jason! finally something i can really relate to!! :) yes it is cold!! my hands and feet are hard to keep warm! i just heard another long range weather look and i think next week we are going to be cold also but no snowstorms. it would be nice to have one if we have to put up with this cold. only one and a warm up right afterwards to melt it down. the only good thing about this cold it is killing the germs outside and maybe some of those bugs. i don't have to check my bathtub before i step in for spiders when it gets this cold. :) why do these spiders always seem to end up in the bathtub!!?? :( i don't like them. well, anyway, crank up those warming blankets and Put Another Log on the Fire!! :) now thats a great song!! :) we can thank Tompall Glaser for that one. off the Wanted! Outlaws record. one of my favorites. keep warm. love and prayers

Scott said...

Hello my friend! I hear you about winter. Michele and I are going to look at property in New Mexico this spring! I think you should convince Rich to join us for the short weekend trip. It would at least give you something to warm your thoughts on these cold bitter nights!

Scott said...

Hello my friend! I hear you about winter. Michele and I are going to look at property in New Mexico this spring! I think you should convince Rich to join us for the short weekend trip. It would at least give you something to warm your thoughts on these cold bitter nights!

JrnyWmn said...

I'm feeling you with winter, I hate to be hot but its a lil bit too cold. Oh and blaming the Communists, and Canada never gets old (especially with a nice song lol) Oh and I'm convinced that we are winning the war on terror, its just a war in a parallel universe.