Is It Cold in Here? Or Is It Just Mary?

You gotta love Texas. (Note sarcasm.)

As we all know, many of the religiously devout tend to see god and his family in all sorts of things where he (or they) most likely aren't. But this was one that should get some kind of award: I'm thinking we could name it "Silliest Worship of Graven Image" or "Sky God's Mom: The Frigid Years."

From the article:

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But folks in the small West Texas town of Morton say they’ve seen the “Holy Mother” made of ice inside a freezer at the local grocery store.

It started as one drip from the ceiling of a freezer at Morton Thrifty Foods grocery store. Now it has become quite the sanctuary for a lot of Catholic believers.

“I wanted to cry when I saw it,” said Stephan Santos, who was visiting the ice formation. “My mom has all saints in her house. But this one just got to me.”

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"Visiting the ice formation." What does one say when visiting an ice sculpture? A little conversation starter to break the ice, perhaps: "Excuse me, um, frozen Virgin? Would you care to pass that milk that's behind you? This one's expired. Thanks!"; or "Excuse me, Virgin? You're blocking the Dannon Yogurt." I guess everyone's reminded of a simpler, gentler time when Virgin's were expected to be very cold to keep their virginity exactly that! A time when one's uterus was owned by one's father or husband, and only then could the ice thaw...

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Store employee Alma Avalos first spotted the formation in the back freezer of her store, noticing what had been a few drops of water from the ceiling that had frozen.

“I went in there, and it started forming like some kind of ice, and then Friday I went in there, and it was shaped like that,” Avalos said.

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Imagine that! Water dripping into a freezer makes (drumroll, please!) a Stalagmite!!! Never would of thunk it, would ya?

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As more and more people heard about the “Virgin Mary,” they started coming in droves to see her, and the grocery store moved her into a freezer in the frozen foods section.

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Here that? Mary no longer hangs out in the back, she's front and center, next to the Jell-O pudding pops and that dead pig they just sliced up. And let's face it, she's probably right at home. She did give birth in a barn after all.

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Some have had their prayers answered after visiting the ice statue.

“I had a lump in my breast, and yesterday, when I went home, it disappeared. I don’t have it no more,” said one woman.

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Well, dad-gum! Why, I don't got it no more either! Where do they find these people, anyway? Oh, that's right, the brainless were on a pilgrimage to see a lump of ice, I forgot.



Yeah, I can see the resemblance... you mean, you can't? You must need god, my friend... (or, at least, an over active imagination and some faith...)