Welcome My Mother to the Blog!; and Anger at the Fundies...

It seems my mother has finally discovered the joy of reading her children's blogs... or, at least, mine that I know of! Suffice to say, she may be in for some rude awakenings as I'm watching her comments appear in some posts from back in the day... I kind of dropped a bomb on her on Saturday. Tom and I were there helping Dad tear down their old deck (it was in a state of disrepair that would make even Pigpen blush!), and when Tom and Dad decided to go to Home Depot to get some things for our project at Tom's house next weekend (We're like the Amish--we travel to each other's houses on the weekends and tackle projects like that... anyone need a barn?), I hung back with Mom to show her a few things on her computer...

I forget how the conversation got started... but I said to her (while telling a little white lie), "I believe there is a god..."

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Mom: Well, I mean, you still believe that Christ came and died for your sins, don't you?
Me: I think it's a nice thought on the part of Jesus to think he was...
Mom: But... I want my kids to be in heaven... That's the only thing I want on this earth!
Me: Mom, I'll see you in heaven, don't worry...
Mom: But--

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Saved by the bell took on a whole new meaning when her brother called at that moment...

So I'd like to clarify a few things for her so she can feel better about her newly-discovered take on my life...

1. If the bible is true, and one written in the book of life can never lose their salvation, I'll be in heaven, much to my own chagrin, I'm sure...
   
2. The possibility that there is a god is so minute, and the possibility that Christians own the market on the true identity of that god and his ways and rules are even more astronomically small
   
3. While I at some points in my life entertain the possibility that what I was raised on (ands the subsequent philosophies that spawned) are a possibility, all possibilities should be taken with bucket loads of salt to taste...

So, mother, rest assured that your lost spiritual sheep is in good hands from your perspective and faith... I still love you!

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Now on to the fundies that have been pissing me off lately. I really am a glutton for the punishment, but I get so angry when people don't involve their brains in their faith when they profess to have faith, know what I mean? I didn't want to leave this on their blog though, as I try to be very respectful and polite of their blog rules, so I came here to vent... bear with me...

Here are a few key phrases I constantly hear come from the mouths of fundies in my general (or sometimes direct) direction:

• "You shouldn't be angry with God because you had a bad experience with Christians in your past. Don't blame God for their human errors..."
  
• "I sense anger at God in your statements..."
  
• "Apparently you never truly were saved, because if you had been, you would know the joy I know..."
  
• "God can save you from the sin of homosexuality..."
  AND THE WINNER OF SILLIEST THINGS TO COME OUT OF A FUNDIES MOUTH:
  
• "You cannot possibly be a happy person living the life you are... Just look at the anger you show God..."

No, I'm not kidding.

Number 1: "You shouldn't be angry with God because you had a bad experience with Christians in your past. Don't blame God for their human errors..."
To be angry at something that doesn't exist is just plain stupid. That's like saying I blame Martians for having a yellow sun; blaming oranges because I don't like how they taste; or blaming Santa Claus for not getting that 10-speed bike. Any anger you pick up on, dear fundie, is directed squarely at your ignorance-filled bliss and refusal to admit that there may, indeed, be something you don't know, maybe wrong about, or have been wrong about.... I don't blame god--I can't have issues with someone or something that 90% of the time I don't think is there. My anger is towards you and the fuzzy-warm world of "accountability" you have set up for yourself to meet your emotional and mental needs of your low-self-esteem... Nothing more. You project your sense of worthlessness onto a "sin" nature you personally can't be held accountable for as you weren't there. Then you set up this "all-loving" but "just" parent-figure to help you feel like you have some direction and purpose, although never being perfect like you imagine he would want you to be, so you subscribe to a forgiveness and blame-free bad guy named Satan to take the fall for everything man has ever screwed up... (NOTE Yes, these are generalizations... and in general hold true, although some of you have made up more rules for yourselves as time has gone on...)

Number 2: "I sense anger at God in your statements..."

It ain't god I'm angry at, sweety... If it were, I'd spend a lot more time in prayer (which Homo don't do...) telling him how screwed up I think he made you all. But you have just screwed yourselves up, I hate to tell you (sometimes). And then you march around the earth ruining people's lives by (a) telling them their culture is wrong and that they need to repent (b) telling them their beliefs are wrong and there is only one god whom you seem to think you've met for coffee some time ago, and he'll meet them for coffee too if they'll just ask (c) telling the people they are worthless rotten creatures without this voodoo spirit that is part of god, but still his own person, and (d) that god one time, after having coffee here on earth with twelve "chosen" ones, rose from the dead...

And, by the way, you never let up on the bad stuff... This is wrong, that is wrong, you have this sin, you have that demon, worthless worthless worthless unless you have Jesus... (You all take this to different extremes... Some of you needn't be too hard on yourselves... Others of you should cry in shame over the families and lives you've broken up and ruined all in the name of the great sky god!)

Number 3: "Apparently you never truly were saved, because if you had been, you would know the joy I know..."

So, now, not only do you claim to know what god wants and what god doesn't want, you play holy spirit too? Boy, I bet you make your sky god proud!

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Fundie:Don't worry, God. I let him know he wasn't saved!
Sky God: You-- you told him what?
Fundie: You know, that he wasn't saved! I mean, just look at what he said and did! There's no way--
Sky God: You know what goes on in a man's heart?
Fundie: Well, I--
Sky God: You know how long it took me just to get him to be polite to you again?
Fundie: Well, er--
Sky God: You know how many of your boring-ass sermons and lame-ass selfish prayers I had to slug through just to get you to leave me alone so I could see what this man's hang-up was?
Fundie: Hey! I thou--
Sky God: No, you didn't think. You thought you knew. And you didn't. For all I know, I'm not real! I'm a fucking figment of your imagination! I need to call my shrink...
Fundie: But, you said--
Sky God: No, I didn't. Go to hell.

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Shall we move on?

Number 4: "God can save you from the sin of homosexuality..."

Honey, that ship's done sailed. I gave your god the best 23 years of my life... and if you figure I hit puberty at 12, that still gave him 11 years to work with. Now I ask you, if he could part the damn red sea in less than a minute for 2 million Jews to cross, why couldn't he take care of it in eleven years? What, he backed up on requests? Did his harddrive crash or something? Perhaps he's waiting on your latest rewrite of your holy book to find out what you want him to think and say about it, perhaps? Perhaps I wasn't miserable enough about it, eh? Maybe the eleven-thousand times I asked for it to be taken away so I could move on and get married and have kids and live the blissful life of a do-gooder, begging god or jesus to make me better, to make me normal...

Go fuck yourselves...

Number 5: "You cannot possibly be a happy person living the life you are... Just look at the anger you show God..."

Okay, see number 1 for the last half of that statement.

Though you can't tell it from this angry post (brought on by recent fundie comments on a different blog that shall remain unnamed and unpointed at), I'm one of the happiest fuckin' people I know! I'm always laughing, telling jokes, trying to enjoy the most of these however many years I have in a life I never asked for... I will not waste these years trying to please an almighty perfect being that will send me to hell for being the way he made me (or could have prevented me from being). I will not waste one more minute being miserable and trying to live up to a perfection that is unattainable... I will not change who I am, who I love, or who I want to be based on your preconceived notions of right and wrong that are based on nothing but whim and dissatisfaction with the status quo...

I am Jason Timothy Hughes. I am happy. I am gay. I am married (in heart and mind) to a wonderful, sweet man. I have everything in this life than I could ever ask for, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Have a nice fuckin' day.

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P.S.-- THAT was an angry post, for future reference.