Monday, June 26, 2006

Family Update: Drama...

Before starting in on all the drama, though, I'd like to wish my younger brother Michael Abraham a Happy Birthday.
Now, for a full delineation of the drama and melodrama of the past few weeks, for the most part of which Rich and I managed to avoid through either being a long-distance call (regarding drama concerning the evil grandmother) or unavailable for other reasons...
  1. Uncle Calvin passed away. He was my grandfather's brother, the last of his generation to pass form this earth. Calvin's wife, Ann, and my grandmother never got along or had a nice thing to say to each other their whole live-long lives, but Grandmom was quite upset that she wasn't personally called by Ann to
    A. Tell her the news of his passing
    B. Tell her personally the time of the funeral services
    C. That she had to hear it form her second-born child and not Ann's lips herself.
    Grandmom then proceeded to plant a bug in both of my sisters' ears until my mother finally broke down and called Grandmom to tell her
    A. She didn't have to go to the funeral
    B. Ann has other things to worry about than sending grandmom a gold-engraved calligraphic invitation to a funeral
    C. That when the obituary said "private service," it was not a personal affront and slap in the face of grandmom, but a general announcement to the public in a newspaper.
    Grandmom did end up going, but didn't have a good time because none of her kids wanted to spend much time with her.
  2. My cousin Matthew was arrested about two weeks ago for breaking into some churches and stealing stereo equipment and other such things. Again, Grandmom was deeply offended when they ran the story on the front page of the local paper. Kip, Matt's father, handled it quite well, as Kip was known to have a few, shall we say "suspect," run-ins when around Matt's age, but Grandmom was convinced that from now on Matt had ruined his life, not to mention her reputation, and that Matt owed her a full explanation and apology. Grandmom then proceeded to call everyone she knew in the local calling area, even the family members whom she was most afraid of hearing the news, and apologized to them (and filled them in if they hadn't heard), and then promptly complained about how everyone knew about it.
  3. Poor little nephew Devin was in the hospital with an unusually severe asthma attack, but he is out now and doing swell from what I hear.
  4. My poor cousin Megan just lost her baby. She found out at her first ultrasound. But get this: Kip was always a bad father-figure to her, and Megan didn't call to tell him she lost the baby. She told her mother and her brother, and from there the information went where it would (which only makes sense--who wants to sit there and retell that to everybody by personally phone calling them?) But Kip gets upset he wasn't told personally by his daughter, then proceeds to call Grandmom, and then she's upset for the same reasons, but since she is also still waiting for that apology, as well as still personally affronted by the whole funeral fiasco, she gets my sisters to call my mother to call her so she can bitch about it all. My mother eventually gets a chance to call Megan with her condolences, and to let her know she has nothing to feel bad about in regards to Megan's father and grandmother.
  5. Mike gipped Mom and Dad out of $150 for curtains in his apartment. Why he needed them now after living there for four years, who knows. He got them to go to Walmart with him to pick them out, and then when they got in line to pay, Mike did his whole Oops! I'm short on cash. Can I borrow...?" Of course, they're in line, what are they going to say? Michael still owes Sylvia like $180 dollars for a car he bought from them after he abandoned his last car on the highway because it was just too much trouble to fix again. He now avoids their phone calls.
  6. Olivia had her MRI, and the lump on her back is nothing more than a fatty deposit, thank goodness! She already has so many health issues, one more would have been seemingly impossible, but alas, it never is impossible, is it? But she is doing well and looking forward to the first grade in September!
  7. These last four days of rain (constant fucking rain) have brought about the return of the Basemantic Ocean. These last few days have been spent pumping said ocean into the swampy backyard we have dubbed, from the movie Labyrinth, the Bog of Eternal Stench. Not that it smells, but it sounds good, and that's what life is all about.

So until the ocean dries, that will be all for the time being. The newsman on the radio gave me the following forecast this morning: Rain Tuesday, heavy into the evenings. Rain Wednesday, heavy at times, as well as for Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Fucking weather. I need some horrible, wholesome sunshine!!! Someone has stolen it!


Kelly said...

Wow, I finally found someone with a grandmother as wacky as my own! (Thanks to the phone gods for long-distance calling, although I don't think mine would call me even if I was in her calling area...)

DaBich said...

LO..gotta love families. They are the best for amusement...when it's not frustrating.
My hubby deal with most family issues in one way.
Stay out of it. :)
Funny reading, hope the rain stops soon, I'm soggy too :(

Darkmind said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Steve said...

We have all the sunshine in Texas. You are welcome to as much of it as you want.
Praying for y'all and hoping you are not harmed by all the water.
God Bless!!

Mom said...

after reading this hank the third came on "i might get drunk and rob a bank". after reading some of my life i think that might be better! :) my life is like a country song! :) well, anyway, your blog is interesting and i thought i answer to something just to let you know that i read something. is this "filler" reading? :) love and prayers mom