Near the Beginning: Snacky Snake!Click here for more of Near the Beginning, or use the short cuts to the individual comics over in the right-hand column.
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Saturday, August 28, 2010
Near the Beginning...:
#42: Snacky Snake!
Near the Beginning: Snacky Snake!Click here for more of Near the Beginning, or use the short cuts to the individual comics over in the right-hand column.
Clicking on the comic will open it up in a larger window.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
What's Love Got to Do With It?
I bring you... The ruminations of my mind during days of end-of-summer cleaning...
The endless, eternal, undying, and deeply satisfying love of Jesus...
No, no, no... I know what you're thinking--"Sweet Jesus, they got him!" Sorry to disappoint. This post is about the message itself. The message Christians around the world preach, extol, discourse, lecture, and sermonize about. It's the supposed reason we were created, the reason Jesus died, the purpose of our existence, the greatest commandment, and the end-all, be-all of our supposedly miserable existence on this planet (besides feeding the dog and feeding the kids, washing the dishes, and doing the laundry...)
It's all about the love they have for sky god, the love sky god showed them by letting his son commit Roman-assisted suicide, and the love they show and share with humanity as they attempt to convert us all, and sell us a condo on a gold-paved street within praising distance of the source from which all theoretical love must flow...
And, from their stand point, not only is it a "wonderful" and "good" thing they are trying to share, it is indeed a necessary and eternally vital thing if they are to continue in a loving eternity after they leave this rock we call Earth...
In other words, not only are they fulfilling "the greatest commandment" by loving god, and then fulfilling the "second greatest commandment" by sharing that love with their neighbor, offering this message of eternal life is well-intentioned. It is a good intention. They want to save your soul. They feel it is their moral imperative, their obligation, their responsibility to tell you, and tell you, and tell you about Jesus. Oh, and about the down side... Full disclosure policy for a lot of fundies...
But is that really a loving thing to do? To ignore other people's chosen beliefs, lifestyles, choices, hobbies, and overall existence by insisting that only they hold the true and real reason? That only they have The Truth, as well as The Way, to a happy and fulfilling life?
Most fundies to this site start off with the obligatory "Better hope you're right or your going to hell." Then after some prodding, some hand-holding, a little coaxing them out of their fundie armor into a human conversation, we find out that their just "concerned." They "love me." They want to "save me." It's motivated by a command from on high and a love that knows no bounds (despite what popular love songs would have you believe, that swimming oceans and climbing mountains has anything to do with it...)
Except... well...
Their god's love does have bounds, doesn't it? That deep, undying, eternal love isn't all it's cracked up to be for want of one very crucial, important factor...
Uncondionality.
(True, it may not actually be a word... So sue me... This is not a Scrabble board...)
Let's say, for shits and giggles, my brother is playing chicken with an on-coming train barreling down the tracks at 90 miles per hour from Denver to New York. Another train, leaving New York for Denver, traveling at 75 miles per hour with a one-hour stop in Chicago...
For some reason, he is unable to extricate himself from his place in front of Train A. As the light on the engine shines down on his tear-stained face, am I going to negotiate some type of agreement in which I save his life if he promises to tell everyone he knows not only what I'm about to do, as well as a solemn promise to worship me whether or not I live or die saving him? (HINT: No, I am not...)
Yes, my intention is to save my brother. I fully intend to whisk him out of harm's way... And, using the time model of YHWH, if I have all the time in the world to negotiate this position, and if I knew he would be on the tracks unable to remove himself from danger, and if I had the power to not only stop the train (let alone the power to keep all trains from having such man-killing ability...), how would he actually perceive my offer to save him as long as he promised to have eternal gratitude and love for me for the rest of his earthly life?
Let's also keep in mind that I am able to raise myself from the dead...
How, again, is this actually a sacrifice on my part? How, again, is this an unconditional, undying love for my brother?
Exactly...
The endless, eternal, undying, and deeply satisfying love of Jesus...
No, no, no... I know what you're thinking--"Sweet Jesus, they got him!" Sorry to disappoint. This post is about the message itself. The message Christians around the world preach, extol, discourse, lecture, and sermonize about. It's the supposed reason we were created, the reason Jesus died, the purpose of our existence, the greatest commandment, and the end-all, be-all of our supposedly miserable existence on this planet (besides feeding the dog and feeding the kids, washing the dishes, and doing the laundry...)
It's all about the love they have for sky god, the love sky god showed them by letting his son commit Roman-assisted suicide, and the love they show and share with humanity as they attempt to convert us all, and sell us a condo on a gold-paved street within praising distance of the source from which all theoretical love must flow...
And, from their stand point, not only is it a "wonderful" and "good" thing they are trying to share, it is indeed a necessary and eternally vital thing if they are to continue in a loving eternity after they leave this rock we call Earth...
In other words, not only are they fulfilling "the greatest commandment" by loving god, and then fulfilling the "second greatest commandment" by sharing that love with their neighbor, offering this message of eternal life is well-intentioned. It is a good intention. They want to save your soul. They feel it is their moral imperative, their obligation, their responsibility to tell you, and tell you, and tell you about Jesus. Oh, and about the down side... Full disclosure policy for a lot of fundies...
But is that really a loving thing to do? To ignore other people's chosen beliefs, lifestyles, choices, hobbies, and overall existence by insisting that only they hold the true and real reason? That only they have The Truth, as well as The Way, to a happy and fulfilling life?
Most fundies to this site start off with the obligatory "Better hope you're right or your going to hell." Then after some prodding, some hand-holding, a little coaxing them out of their fundie armor into a human conversation, we find out that their just "concerned." They "love me." They want to "save me." It's motivated by a command from on high and a love that knows no bounds (despite what popular love songs would have you believe, that swimming oceans and climbing mountains has anything to do with it...)
Except... well...
Their god's love does have bounds, doesn't it? That deep, undying, eternal love isn't all it's cracked up to be for want of one very crucial, important factor...
Uncondionality.
(True, it may not actually be a word... So sue me... This is not a Scrabble board...)
Let's say, for shits and giggles, my brother is playing chicken with an on-coming train barreling down the tracks at 90 miles per hour from Denver to New York. Another train, leaving New York for Denver, traveling at 75 miles per hour with a one-hour stop in Chicago...
For some reason, he is unable to extricate himself from his place in front of Train A. As the light on the engine shines down on his tear-stained face, am I going to negotiate some type of agreement in which I save his life if he promises to tell everyone he knows not only what I'm about to do, as well as a solemn promise to worship me whether or not I live or die saving him? (HINT: No, I am not...)
Yes, my intention is to save my brother. I fully intend to whisk him out of harm's way... And, using the time model of YHWH, if I have all the time in the world to negotiate this position, and if I knew he would be on the tracks unable to remove himself from danger, and if I had the power to not only stop the train (let alone the power to keep all trains from having such man-killing ability...), how would he actually perceive my offer to save him as long as he promised to have eternal gratitude and love for me for the rest of his earthly life?
Let's also keep in mind that I am able to raise myself from the dead...
How, again, is this actually a sacrifice on my part? How, again, is this an unconditional, undying love for my brother?
Exactly...
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Near the Beginning...:
#41: Who's Yer Daddy...
Near the Beginning: Who's Yer Daddy...Click here for more of Near the Beginning, or use the short cuts to the individual comics over in the right-hand column.
Clicking on the comic will open it up in a larger window.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Reading the Bible is Like doing Crystal Meth...
Let's say you are in a convenience store. Someone comes in waving a gun and is going to rob the place. He's aiming the gun at the head of a teenager who just happened to pick up this shift after school. She can't open the register, so the gunman decides he's going to kill someone cause he's pissed. He cocks the gun, and aims it at the person standing right next to you. Do you:
The fourth option is something only the Christian god does.
So they say he came and died for all your sins. All of them. Except--disclaimer!!--you're still going to hell because you didn't say, "Hey, thanks, dude!"
What?!?! God needs to hear you say, "Thanks, I believe," before he rescues you from hell? Ask any conservative--hell, most Christians for that matter--and they'll say, "Yes, unless you confess and believe that Christ died for your sins, you will go to hell." Period. End of story. You may be thinking, How is this a loving god? <--a perfectly rational thought, I assure you...
If I could shove that person out of the way to save them from the bullet, I wouldn't care of they were grateful or not. Sure, I'd be peeved if they didn't seem grateful at the moment, but I wouldn't then regret saving them from death. I mean, come on, she was going to get shot, for god's sake. Now don't get me started on a god that even allows us to invent guns or have the ability to kill another. He screwed us up, that's his issue. But to say that we're getting eternal punishment for
I don't think so. I posed this to another person once, a conservative Christian. I said, "I wouldn't not save a person just because they weren't going to admit I saved them." And he replied, "But they're still going to die eventually. With God as your savior, you get eternal life." To which I replied, "Um, hello? You are going to die. You are going to croak, like everyone else, and be viewed in a casket, and then have six feet of dirt piled on you just like everyone else. YOU STILL DIE." And he said, "But I will go to heaven. You won't. The old lady won't. Your brother won't." Maybe it's a mind set... Maybe reading the bible is like doing crystal meth... Who knows? And yes, I was answered with just a hint of smugness and an apparent missing of the point that he was still going to die... and thought he was then going to have eternal life...
I'm sorry, my idea of a loving god, if one were to exist, wouldn't need his ego stroked to save his own creation from hell. Or any other kind of bad thing, for that matter. Would any of you parents not help your child if they didn't "give you props"? Acknowledge your helping hand? I think any good parent, regardless of their child's amount of gratefulness, would still want to lay down their life for their kid. I know I would die in a heartbeat if I knew it would save any of my siblings, their kids, my friends, my parent's, even my stupid grandmother. I wouldn't first turn to them and say, "Hey, I'll die for you, but first you must promise to build a temple in my name, and subvert indigenous people to worship my memory. You have to live every day living and doing things that I would have done. But only then will I die for you. Oh, and I must cross your mind every day, once a week minimum!"
No, I'd step in front of the bus / gun / avalanche / car/ rifle / virus / what-have-you. No questions, no restrictions, no "sign on the dotted line."
If your god needs that ego stroke so badly, he doesn't need it from me. I'd rather curse him from hell.
- push the person out the way to safety?
- yell "No!" and get yourself shot by accident?
- look on in horror as the person gets shot?
- turn to that person and say, "Hey, I'll save you from that bullet, but only if you acknowledge me as your lord and savior"?
The fourth option is something only the Christian god does.
So they say he came and died for all your sins. All of them. Except--disclaimer!!--you're still going to hell because you didn't say, "Hey, thanks, dude!"
What?!?! God needs to hear you say, "Thanks, I believe," before he rescues you from hell? Ask any conservative--hell, most Christians for that matter--and they'll say, "Yes, unless you confess and believe that Christ died for your sins, you will go to hell." Period. End of story. You may be thinking, How is this a loving god? <--a perfectly rational thought, I assure you...
If I could shove that person out of the way to save them from the bullet, I wouldn't care of they were grateful or not. Sure, I'd be peeved if they didn't seem grateful at the moment, but I wouldn't then regret saving them from death. I mean, come on, she was going to get shot, for god's sake. Now don't get me started on a god that even allows us to invent guns or have the ability to kill another. He screwed us up, that's his issue. But to say that we're getting eternal punishment for
- an inherited "sin" nature that we had no control over? and
- god's ego?
I don't think so. I posed this to another person once, a conservative Christian. I said, "I wouldn't not save a person just because they weren't going to admit I saved them." And he replied, "But they're still going to die eventually. With God as your savior, you get eternal life." To which I replied, "Um, hello? You are going to die. You are going to croak, like everyone else, and be viewed in a casket, and then have six feet of dirt piled on you just like everyone else. YOU STILL DIE." And he said, "But I will go to heaven. You won't. The old lady won't. Your brother won't." Maybe it's a mind set... Maybe reading the bible is like doing crystal meth... Who knows? And yes, I was answered with just a hint of smugness and an apparent missing of the point that he was still going to die... and thought he was then going to have eternal life...
I'm sorry, my idea of a loving god, if one were to exist, wouldn't need his ego stroked to save his own creation from hell. Or any other kind of bad thing, for that matter. Would any of you parents not help your child if they didn't "give you props"? Acknowledge your helping hand? I think any good parent, regardless of their child's amount of gratefulness, would still want to lay down their life for their kid. I know I would die in a heartbeat if I knew it would save any of my siblings, their kids, my friends, my parent's, even my stupid grandmother. I wouldn't first turn to them and say, "Hey, I'll die for you, but first you must promise to build a temple in my name, and subvert indigenous people to worship my memory. You have to live every day living and doing things that I would have done. But only then will I die for you. Oh, and I must cross your mind every day, once a week minimum!"
No, I'd step in front of the bus / gun / avalanche / car/ rifle / virus / what-have-you. No questions, no restrictions, no "sign on the dotted line."
If your god needs that ego stroke so badly, he doesn't need it from me. I'd rather curse him from hell.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Near the Beginning...:
#40: Family Ball...
Near the Beginning: Family Ball...Click here for more of Near the Beginning, or use the short cuts to the individual comics over in the right-hand column.
Clicking on the comic will open it up in a larger window.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Time... Is an Illusion...
After weeks and weeks, I finally get the time and the computer itself to blog, and...Nothing.
Writing is such a pain in the ass sometimes...
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Near the Beginning...:
#39: The Flaw...
Near the Beginning: The Flaw...Click here for more of Near the Beginning, or use the short cuts to the individual comics over in the right-hand column.
Clicking on the comic will open it up in a larger window.
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