Wednesday, March 29, 2006

There Won't Be Soda Machines in Heaven...

I remember the great debate at bible college in the years of 1995 through 1997. No, it wasn't if the elect were the Jews, Angels, or disciples, or even Christians. No, it was also not whether God was first one person then three, or three persons than one. It wasn't even who actually wrote the book of Hebrews.

It was "Is it soda, or Pop?"

Yes, we students of the bible really knew how to get down to the nitty-gritty of a subject. The two most represented states were West Virginia (where the college was located) and Pennsylvania. Anyone from the east side of PA knows it's called soda. End of story. Any one from West Virginia, and even western Pennsylvania called it Pop, no ifs, ands, or buts. Then there was the one girl from Spain who always called it "Coke." It could have been Pepsi, Slice, or RC Cola, it was all "Coke" to her.

I don't know why this was going through my mind today, but it got me thinking, what kept us, as professed Christians at the time, from debating the real issues? Why did we avoid real in-depth bible study?

I was reading a post on Debunking Christianity called No Such Elective Offered. In it, the author talked about how Christians, while attending church all sixteen hundred times each week a service, worship group, or prayer meeting is offered, the Christians are there, but they are so busy agreeing with what they think they know about the bible, but they aren't learning about how the bible actually came about.

And, I almost hate to say, in all my two years of attending Appalachian Bible College, there was really no course on teaching actual bible history. And do you know why? It's not really that conservative's don't care, per se, but they use their bible as history. I know, I know, it's not the same thing.

But I think the mind-set goes something like this (having been there myself my whole life, I think I have a better clue than atheists and agnostics who haven't been raised and surrounded by conservative Christians). There really is no need for Christians to study how the bible came about, cause the answer lies in these passages:

  • 2 Peter 1:20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.
  • 2 Peter 1:21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake [as they were] moved by the Holy Ghost.
    and
  • 2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness


I won't even get into how many private interpretations there actually are of the bible, since apparently Paul and Peter never considered a country with 1,800 different branches of Christianity (just a guess...).
Following these passages, therefore, if the word of god is so good and perfect and inspired by god, it meets all their needs, as well as tells them everything they need to know. But these next verses, I think, seal the deal for most of them:

  • Col 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
  • 1 Timothy 6:3-8 If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, [even] the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into [this] world, [and it is] certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.


And even now, I won't go into just how many people have been killed in wars, murders, and such in the name of religion, let alone Chriistianity.
So why does a Christian not want to hear about evolution? Or carbon dating? Or even other religions? The bible tells them so.

And even at conservative Appalachian Bible College, our great debate? What do we call what we drink. Because apparently, we only need be satisfied with the clothes we have and the food we eat. Sounds like a perfect set-up for a cult. Unquestioning followers, no thirst for knowledge, no need to ever think about anything but what to wear, what to eat, and what the bible has to say.

So whether it's soda, pop, soda-pop, or coke, it doesn't matter. As long as you show up for church on sunday, god will take care of everything.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

...but that's enough about me... how are you all?

So I worked Saturday for about 5 hours, then went to my parent's house as my sister and niece were up visiting. Enter lots of games, lots of laughs, and a late night. But that's okay, right? It was Saturday!!!

So I wake up Sunday morning, having spent the night at my parents since it was so late when we finished what felt like our millionth game of pictionary... It was about 9 a.m. I go upstairs to the living room, where my father and mother and sister are watching a sermon on television... Whoop-dee. But I look around...

"Where's my dog?" I ask. "Out on the deck with Cheyenne?" (Their dog.)
"Shh..." My mother waves her hands as she says this.
"Well, I let him out this morning to go to the bathroom..." And he trails off.

Now, let me say, my dog does like to run away when he's bored! This is like the sixth out of seven times they've watched my dog and he's run off (that might be a slight exageration). Now don't get me wrong, he's run away on me, too. Usually when my stupid-ass neighbors feel like they need to tell me trivial, unimportant things about themselves and their families.

But I'm not upset. He always, always comes home in an average of three hours. So I go outside, have a ciggie (Oh, yeah, FYI, the quitting didn't stick--round two next weekend) and yell his name a few half-hearted times. I go back in. Mom's crying about something the pastor said, getting caught up in her own type of religious hysteria. Dad looks up and says, "Any sign?"
"Nope. What time did he run?"
"About seven-thirty."
"Okay, he's got about an hour and a half left. I think I'll call the gate."
"No, don't do that," my dad says. He's hoping to avoid a fine for having an unleashed dog running around, but since he always comes back, I just drop that line of thought.

Now, reader, calm yourself. I am not callous. Just a realist. Plus, this isn't like center-city New York or anything... It's in the Pocono's, bordered by state game lands, and lots and lots of deer and forest. And he always comes back. Now what I didn't count on is some goody-two-shoes hick with a chip on her shoulder. At about noon, I'm worried, but I won't let it show, cause I know my family will want to "pray" for him. Rich knows I'm worried, too, but he keeps my family distracted like a good husband so they won't get on my nerves.

Me and Dad hop in the truck about one and start circling the surrounding area. Nothing. Then my mom decides she would like to go with me to pick up something locally I won on eBay... I don't want to leave until Hawthorne is back, but I know my being there won't change anything either, so we go, and it was a nice three hour distraction.

But when I get back, my dog is still no where around. I decide, Dad be damned, I'm letting the gate know I'm missing my dog. I'll pay the damn fees (stupid fascist home-owners association!), I just want Hawthorne back!

After I call the gate ("No, Hawthorne, not Popcorn. About 50 pounds, looks like a big Jack Russell Terrier with big brown cow spots."), I begin calling around to local animal shelters, leaving about three messages before there's a knock at the door. I hear Mom yell, "Answer that!" (Yeah, like I'm going to ignore the knock?), and when I open the door, there's a rent-a-cop.

RAC: You lose the dog?
Me:(Hopeful) You found him?
RAC: He a pit bull?
Me: Uhh...
RAC: Choker collar?
Me: He breaks all the normal collars...
RAC: Licensed?
Me: Not really...
RAC: Rabies?
Me: Oh, no-no-no, he doesn't have rabies! (Nervous laugh.)
RAC: No, is he vaccinated against rabies?
Me: Oh, of course!
RAC: He a pitty?
Me: Pity? (Confusion at this apparent straight-guy lingo we've morphed into...)
RAC: Pitbull?
Me: Well, half...
RAC: You feed him? He looks awful skinny...
Me: Oh, you did find him! (Spirit soars!)
RAC: You feed this dog?
Me: What? Of course I feed him.. He eats three full bowls of food a day! Listen, did you find my dog or not?
RAC: He's on the other side of the mountain.
Me: Okay... (Is that close? Is that bad? Spirits nearing depths of despair...)
RAC: Got a car?
Me: Yes... (No, you stupid fuck, we have three cars in the driveway with three obviously-older-than-sixteen people in the house, but no car. Dumbass.)
RAC: Follow me...

I so wish I was making this shit up...
So I follow him about six miles--in a car, belive it or not--to a small, nondescript house tucked away in the woods. He pulls over and puts on his four-ways, so I do the same and quickly exit my car. I see my dog (and he sees me and begins whining and yipping), but RAC grabs my arm before I can go up to the house.

RAC: He licensed?
Me: Um, no... (Oh, God, we have to do this again!)
RAC: You know that's a fine...
Me: Fine, write up the ticket, I'm going to get my dog.

So I walk (jog... okay run) up to the house. My dog is chained to a post on, I shit you not, a foot-long leash. 1. Foot. That's 12 inches. This doesn't immediately register, as I'm so happy to see him. I unhook him as a woman exits the house to stand next to him and me as I hug him and he licks me to death.

Hick:He yours?
Me: Yes, thank you! (No, I randomly walk up to people's houses with a rent-a-cop and pet peoples dogs and let them off their leashes! You mean you don't?)
Hick: Friendly pup. He a pitty?
Me: Half... (Why do people ask this all the fucking time? Is there a pitbull version of Cujo that I haven't seen?)
Hick: He's awful skinny... Ate a bowl of food that I gave him...
Me: Yeah, well, he's always hungry!
Hick: You feed him?
Me: Yeah, three bowls a day! He's got a fast metabolism that I envy!
RAC: Sir, you have a leash for him?
Me: Uh, yeah, it's right there in the car.
RAC: Well, son, until he's on the leash, please do not let the dog off the porch leash.
Me: No, it's okay, I'm going to put him in the car now--
RAC: Son, leash the dog, then go procure your leash, and then you may transfer the dog to your vehicle.
Me: But--
RAC: Sir, please do not make me repeat myself.
Hick: (To RAC) He feed that dog?
RAC: He says he does...
Me: (Coming back from the car, losing patience) Three bowls a day. He has a very fast metabolism.
Hick: Sure is skinny little fellar. Ate a whole bowl of food here, he did.
Me: Yeah, um, can I offer you money or something? (No shit Sherlock, I just told you he eats three fucking bowls a day! Of course he'll eat something if you put it in front of him, he's a fucking DOG, you dumb shit!)
RAC: Now, son, I'll need to see proof of licensing for this dog within 7 days. Can you produce proof of licensing this dog within seven days?
Me: Yeah, if I need to.
Hick: You need dog food or something?
Me: No, thank you--
RAC: I'll need to fine you a couple hundred if you don't.
Me: Yeah, sure, no prob--
Hick: You ain't from here, are ya? You talk funny... What is that accent?
Me: Accent? (I talk funny?)
RAC: You don't live here? Who's house were you in?
Me: (Unsure who to answer) I, uhh, grew up near Philly, I live near Lehighton now, just up--
Hick: I suppose you sound like you're from Philadelphia.
(Well, I'm so glad I sound legitimate to you!)
RAC: Lehighton? Son, can I see some ID?
Me: Yes, um, here's my driver's license (Handing him my wallet)
Hick: Why you up in these parts?
Me: Visiting my folks... (None of you business, maybe?)
RAC: I can give you ten business days.
Me: For what?
Hick: I thought you was raised in Philadelphia?
RAC: To show proof of licensing of the pet.
Me: They moved up he-- Oh, yes, okay, do you have an address I can mail that to? (Oh my fucking word! Did I die and go to hell? Is this where gay people spend eternity, in hickland surrounded by idiots?!? Help, someone!!!!)
Hick: He's been here since about 8 a.m. When did you notice he left?
Me: When I woke up.

So, to make a long story barely shorter, I got the damn dog licensed, ran him to the vet to realize he sprained his ankles either chasing deer or dealing with a leash made for rats, am currently mailing out the proof of licensing to make sure I don't pay a damn fine, did not get to relax due to worry, my dad feels guilty as hell for this but won't admit it and instead would rather ignore the whole issue, and Rich has the whole week off and is spending it in Maryland visiting his brother, sister-in-law, and new nephew....

BTW, I also had overtime tonight. So much for quality alone-time.

I want someone to license me. Apparently I talk funny.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Randy Quaid Isn't Rich Enough...


Not surprising, considering that the only two good movies this mediocre actor has ever been in is Brokeback Mountain and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

And now he's suing Brokeback Mountain because he didn't make enough money for his, what, four lines? Maybe five lines? From the article, he


accuses the filmmakers of getting Quaid to cut his seven-figure asking price by portraying Brokeback as a "low-budget, art-house movie with no prospect of making money."

Excuse me? Seven figure salary?!?!?!?! I'm lucky I have a FIVE figure salary... Is he that lose with the money?

Okay, maybe they misled him, who am I to know? Of course, I certainly didn't expect anyone who was straight to even know it existed, let alone go see it, or even want to strike up a conversation with me about it. But whatever...

A gander at the INMD shows that he's been in 108--that's ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT--films, TV shows, or movies. Now you know he wasn't making his seven figure salary for all one hundred and eight... But I mean, come on... He's upset that he got paid a lower salary? After 108 shows and movies? That's a lot even for a bad actor such as he.

Now if we look at the past year's blockbusters according to the IMDB:

    Gross.............Movie
  • 380,262,555 Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
  • 289,188,779 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  • 288,795,853 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
  • 234,280,354 War of the Worlds
  • 216,959,345 King Kong
  • 209,218,368 Wedding Crashers
  • 206,456,431 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
  • 205,343,774 Batman Begins
  • 193,136,719 Madagascar
  • 186,336,103 Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Does anyone see Brokeback up there? Because Randy's lawyers are stating that

Only later [...] did Quaid learn Brokeback was a Hollywood-backed production with a budget worth "millions more" than he'd been told.
Yeah, "millions." Okay, well, it did make about $82 million so far... Kind of chump change, though, if you look at the years' actual top blockbusters... Hmm... Not really a big money maker... But then again, I never imagined Randy Quaid as a big money-maker either...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

So I was talking to my parents last night, and my mother brought up that name... you know, Fred Phelps. She had just heard of him for the first time ever like two days ago while watching Good Morning America. My first response was, "What rock have you been hiding under?"

But then as we talked further about this hateful little man, it became clear--she had no reason to have heard of him before. His hateful kind have never targeted housewives before. Regardless, though, Good Morning America let her know what vile pigs they were, but in a much more polite way...

And then I thought, I wonder what he has to say for himself about this picketing of soldiers' funerals? I, for one, while I certainly do not support the war in and of itself, there isn't a day goes by I don't hope the soldiers are all safe, hope that Dancing Monkey Bush does a better job at getting them the supplies they need, hoping they finally (even though I know he doesn't) have a plan to get our troops home... I do not support the reasons we went there, but now that we are there, we need to do everything in our power to make sure that

  1. The soldiers get anything and everything they need to do their job.
  2. The President knows that he's an idiot and no one believes his lies about why we're there (except other idiots).
But Phelps? What's his take on the whole picketing of funerals? We all know why he pickets the funerals of gay people--because he's a hateful little man who strongly believes that being gay is sinful... I'll simply say, he has every right to believe that, not that I agree, but I also do not think he should be picketing funerals... Regardless, back to what I was saying before, this is what Phelps has to say on his website about picketing the soldiers' funerals...

Why do you picket soldiers' funerals?
Here are some axiomatic matters of fact:
  • These turkeys are not heroes. They are lazy, incompetent idiots looking for jobs because they're not qualified for honest work.
  • They were raised on a steady diet of fag propaganda in the home, on TV, in church, in school, in mass media - everywhere - the two-pronged lie:
    1. It's OK to be gay; and,
    2. Anyone saying otherwise, like WBC, is a hatemonger who must be vilified, demonized, marginalized into silence.
Therefore, with full knowledge of what they were doing, they voluntarily joined a fag-infested army to fight for a fag-run country now utterly and finally forsaken by God who Himself is fighting against that country.
They turned America
Over to fags;
They're coming home
In body bags.
America used an IED to bomb Westboro Baptist Church on August 20,1995 - an act of terror aimed at terrorizing us into discontinuing our nationwide Gospel preaching against the homosexual menace.

When America thus became WBC's terrorist, God became America's Terrorist.

So, why do I do this to myself? So that you can all know that the wolf is really a scared little puppy with a brain the size of a baby birds. If you ever do happen to meet the Phelps clan, tell them god is still waiting to hear from them... and he does not accept collect calls... No really, the Bible tells me so... It does!!

Can I just say, though, if god really is working against America and is terrorizing us, he's doing a piss-poor job... unless Dancing Monkey Bush is our punishment... in that case, god's just hired yet another incompetant servant...

So I Have to Let Dar Know...

So I tried Dar's suggestion of the armor-all car wax... and I have to say, it works tons better than Clorox against the evil orange rust stains that plague my home and house. It actually took the sink two days--TWO DAYS--as opposed to two hours for the drip part of the sink to turn orange... and it was also much easier to wipe the orange off. I would like to thank Dar for her brilliance and for this wonderful idea... and, I would be cleaning my whole bathroom this weekend, but you need to see the post below for what I will actually be doing this weekend... and unfortunately, it doesn't involve drinking, sleeping, eating out, a movie, or time with friends and family....

Although it does involve overtime in my paycheck...

Somehow, though, that doesn't seem like adequate compensation...

The Best Laid Plans of Men and Morons...

So every year for the last four years, we here have worked on a very popular tax guide. The last three years a wonderful young woman named Alyssa worked here and took care of it. Before she left this company, she left very explicit instructions on how to do this book, and a few of the other big name jobs that we do....

Do you think the morons around here can handle it? They're literally sitting in The Grand Scheduler's Office, scratching their heads, calling Alyssa repeatedly and e-mailing her, wondering why she won't call them back... (Psst! Maybe it's because she hasn't worked here in over seven months!!!!)

I hate morons....

Of course, let's also keep in mind that the tax guide has been in house for three weeks now... And in those three weeks, you all can see the results of moments of boredom here at work when they had nothing for my department to do... And now--get this, no joke--they want my whole department (about 5 people in total) to give up their Saturday (yes, two days from now, when we all already have plans and things to do and places to go) to come in and edit it....because they, in three weeks, couldn't get it ready for my department... in three weeks (That's fifteen working days for those of you arithmetically challenged...)

I wish I were fucking kidding.

I'm glad they think we live to work. It's good to feel needed, isn't it?


In another blast of stupidity from the state that gave us Dancing Monkey Bush, is a news article stating how police are now arresting people in bars for being drunk. Imagine that... drunk people... in a bar.... I can see the logic behind the thought, but what's next? The return of Prohibition, for one. That's the only logical conclusion to this trainwreck of thought and practice....

Of course, maybe if less people had to work morons, less of us would be drunk in bars... Food for thought...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Things I Already Knew About Myself...

...except that no personality test tells me I am an egotist, which I know I come off as...

So, essentially, I am a Mohaired, Soul Seeking Considerate Architect... a little less
SciFi-ish, a little more HGTV-ish...





Can anyone tell it's been a slow past two days at work?

Apparently, all the little colors in the box mean something different about my personality, and on the web site it tells you what each one stands for and how you rate compared to the other 30,000 people who took this same test...

The problem with such tests is you can make it say you are anything, as all the question in this, the Mohair one, and the Soul Seeker one are all multiple choice... so unless you are very honest with yourself and know how you honestly are, it will simply reinforce long-held lies to yourself about yourself...

But who am I to ruin a bunch of inane fun on so dreary a Tuesday?

Here's what the colors mean (although I don't know which color corelates to which trait):

About You
  • You are an Architect
  • Your preference for concrete, visually pleasing things, combined with your confidence and your respect for order make you an ARCHITECT.
  • You are logical and detail-oriented, which allows you to get things done efficiently.
  • You are quite sure of yourself, so that you tend to know the best ways of doing things.
  • Your eye for aesthetic beauty and style indicates that you know a lot about design.
  • Having a routine and sticking to it is important to you; you find comfort in tradition and familiarity.
  • Self-reliance is something in which you take great pride—you are confident and down to earth.
  • You have a basic faith in yourself in many areas of your life, allowing you to be self-assured when facing challenges.
  • You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
  • You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.


If you want to be different:
  • Try moving beyond the things that you find comfortable—open yourself up to a broader range of experiences.
  • Question how much you know about things by imagining different possibilities.


How You Relate to Others
  • You are Considerate
  • You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.
  • You value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.
  • You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.
  • Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.
  • Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.
  • Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.
  • You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.
  • Your close friends know you as a good listener.


If you want to be different:
  • Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!


Your Personality Chart
»Glossary of Traits
This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than you did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than you did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users.

  • Confidence: 72
  • Openness: 50
  • Extroversion: 20
  • Empathy: 46
  • Trust in others: 74
  • Agency: 28
  • Masculinity: 78
  • Femininity: 72
  • Spontaneity: 56
  • Attention to style: 16
  • Authoritarianism: 36
  • Earthy/Imaginative: 50
  • Aesthetic/Functional: 62

At First I Was Simply Mohair...

...and now I am a "Seeker Soul"... The Mohaired Seeker Soul... Has an "SciFi Channel Original series" kind of ring to it, doesn't it?

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.
You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.
Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.
Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.
And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.
You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.
Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Suffer the Fools...


He must be a thorough fool who can learn nothing from his own folly.
- A.W. Hare and J.C. Hare

Every year--every year--a pair of geese nest outside near the exit to our office building. Every year--every year--the company sends out a memo to:
  • Not feed the geese
  • Use the other exit or you will be attacked after she lays her eggs behind the bush just outside the door
  • Not to throw things at the geese--they are only trying to raise their young in peace and quiet
And every year--every single fucking year--a couple of idiots not only feed, disturb, and harass the geese, but they wonder why they get chased and attacked by the geese when they aren't throwing things at them.

Someone give me hope that there are less fools in the world than my eyes and ears tell me there are.... someone? anyone?


On another note of foolishness, apparently some cracked drywall is being credited for miraculous healings in a church down south...


Sigh. Is it okay to say I weep for the future of this country?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Let's Talk About Surrogacy!

For those of you who don't know, I have an ad on craig's list looking for a potential surrogate mother. Here is an e-mail I received from Jennifer M. in regards to that ad. (Last name has been omitted to protect myself from libel or slander lawsuits...):

I was on craigs list and saw your ad. You were very bold to put an ad like that on the internet. So i know that you must want a child badly. I am a new mother, my child is just 5 months old and i now know the joy of parenthood. Reading your ad made my heart break. I to know that longing that you both are feeling right now because I to felt the same way. Unfortunately I must tell you that the hole in your hearts that you are feeling can only be filled by god and god alone. He created you both and is now tugging at your hearts to accept him and let him change your life. You know that having a same-sex partner is wrong. Repent and accept Jesus as your savior and you shall be forgiven. I will be praying for you both and hope that realize this sooner than later. I am sorry to say this but I pray that you do not get an answer to your ad. Oh and by the way it is illegal to pay someone to have a child for you! Get married to a women and you can have as many babies as you like.
On a brief sidenote, with all the "persecution" I get from these right-wingers, you'd think I'd be yelling about how oppressed I am! But, back to the subject.
So Jen has empathy for me. Whooppee, hip-hip-horray for Jen. I want to know why someone like Jen thinks that, not only does she need to start out by expressing her empathy for me, but then to think, even fantasize, that she has the ultimate answer for me. Apparently, my ad has enough pitifulness in it that even the Christians feel badly for a woeful sinner such as myself. But then, to top off her ignorance of the human condition at large, she tells me that hiring a surrogate mother is illegal. Hmm.... so all these years that sterile hetero couples, homo couples such as myself and Rich, and all other types of scenarios of infertility having been solved through the legal hiring of a surrogate are illegal?!?! So says Jen M.

And I wonder what all the infertile hetero couples think of little Jen M.'s solution... get married and have all the kids I want, eh?
  1. First off, marriage does NOT equal kids.
  2. If I were to get married, I would be living a lie, which would end up hurting the woman I married, my children (for teaching them that to live a lie and be untrue to who you are is okay), the marriage itself, and the countless other friends and family affected by so unholy a union.
  3. Jen said get married to a "women." So, polygamy is okay again?
  4. I do NOT know, nor has it been my experience that having a same-sex partner is wrong. I dare say, Jen is wrong for assuming that everyone should be married to an opposite-sex person simply because she finds the experience joyful.
  5. Three women who I am in the process of conversing with have already answered my ad...
  6. And lastly, Jen, sweetheart, even though I'm sure your very deluded heart is somewhat in the right place, I know of at least--at least--a hundred other people praying about my gayness, same as you are now doing. And didn't your Jesus say that "where two or three are gathered in His name" that "your prayer would be answered"? Honey, if it ain't answered by now the way you like, it ain't gonna be...
What is it about a person that allows them to grow to accept the surrogate parenthood of the church? Genetic predisposition? The environment they were raised in? As an individual, a person with life, I feel that to accept to idea of self-hatred, self-loathing, and servitude to an unseen being, as it were, would be to deny, even abhor, the life we have. Life is, indeed, a gift. So why would one choose to deny any of its experiences? Now, don't get me wrong here. I do NOT advocate drug use, bodily whoring, or any other activity the clearly would not only shorten your life, but could make you very ill in the process... but this clearly popular sense of subjecting oneself to despising one's right to enjoy life?

If you could have interviewed slaves back in the day, I'm sure a great deal of them would have said they were quite happy with their lots in life. Quite content to serve the white master, to bring him his food, to be beaten on a whim, and such. Some people feel (and I shudder at this thought) pride in being humiliated as a person. And I suppose that some of the slaves would have been quite happy to have never attained their freedom for the comfort and security of their surrogate "parents," or masters.

I'm sorry, but life ain't always fair. Everyone knows that, whether they like to admit it or not. Life isn't always easy. But I would rather have a difficult, hard-to-attain sense of freedom and life than to give up any parts of my life on the whims of desert wanderers, let alone a bunch of pompous asses in suits telling you you aren't worthy. If, indeed, there is a god, I am of the mind that he wouldn't want us to forgo anything in this life. I could be wrong, but I'm willing to take that shot. It's just a shame that so many like Jen are happy with their slavery, claiming "freedom in Christ."

I'll leave you all with this thought:

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
--Epicurus 341-270 B.C., ancient Greek philosopher

Not that I'm saying all answers can be found with Epicurus... but it is worth thinking about, isn't it?